Moonlit Notes from the Abyss (Nyxifer's journal)

[Nyxifer]

So I’m pretty happy with how my homemade spirit board turned out. First time using a woodburner so there were a few fuck-ups along the way but thankfully they were more or less salvageable. I used oak for both the board and planchette (densely grained wood seems to house spiritual energies well) and after staining & finishing it glides like butter.

Overall I can definitely tell an energetic difference between the store-bought boards and the ones I’ve made myself. I think anything can be used as a board (I’ve heard of people using scrabble tiles and even bits of paper successfully, not to mention the classic Hasbro cardboard version), but for some reason taking the time and energy to build something yourself from scratch (and particularly out of wood) seems to be exceedingly effective. Perhaps it’s just the placebo effect because I believe it’ll be more powerful, or maybe it’s my directed intent during the crafting of the tool that is syncing up with and changing the spiritual vibration of the board. I’ll get back to y’all when I figure out a way to test this.

Anyway, ended up using it last night with the girlfriend to successfully contact our (recently) deceased kitty which was emotional but ultimately cathartic for us. I’d never talked to a dead animal before (although I’d heard that it was possible) so intellectually it was quite an interesting experience. Not very complex vocabulary but strong emotions and an overwhelming sense/repeated affirmations of love (the planchette kept going to the Sun almost as a symbol of life-affirming warmth and connection).

Just a little moment of bittersweet happiness I figured I’d share from my spirit board pathworking.

We are immortal volunteers
Living in the sensation of being everything
And the certitude of being nothing.
We are just an outline.
–Paul Valéry

[Nyxifer]

Simple down-and-dirty tek for manifesting your desires via sigil magick:

Hello and help for a believer with no evidence

I see. Have you tried creating and firing off a sigil? IMO this is one of the simplest and most effective forms of magick, and no fancy rituals or chanting required in order to give you substantial evidence that this is real. Pick something that you’d like to manifest in your life. Nothing impossible or too out there; you’re not gonna have ten supermodels drag you from your car in the middle of rush hour traffic and have their way with you, alas. But at the same time don’t make it too tri…

Belief is the cradle of myth. What about reality, you ask? Well, as far as I’m concerned, reality can go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.
–Stephen King

[Nyxifer]

Last night I finally was able to initiate contact with a spirit guide (maybe two?) through a lucid dream/astral experience!

I dreamt I was walking in a house and I go lucid. I look at my hands and notice that the knuckle of my pinky finger is awkwardly bent at right angles and I watch as the length of my fingers lightly morph in and out, affirming my power over the thought-responsive dream environment. I hold my intention in mind to talk to my spirit guide, and open a door at the end of the hallway knowing that they will be on the other side.

I walk into a well-lit cozy bedroom with wooden floors and a twin bed by a big open glass window looking outside with a nice view of some trees and buildings. It feels like a a nice place, not too lavish or wealthy but warm and happy. Sitting on the bed is an old black man with short salt and pepper hair in comfortable clothes. I am extremely nervous/anxious and feel it in my chest because I’m so excited that it finally worked, but finally calm down enough to ask him for any advice he can give me.

He tells me that I won’t see him again and that this is just a one-off thing. He is understanding and tells me 1) to be healthy and 2) to raise my energy. He points down and I see a light (or flame?) reflecting off the wooden floor and increasing in intensity like a chi master sparking flame in a newspaper. I see an older light coffee colored woman who was sleeping next to him roll over and it feels like this was a husband and wife who died and now live in their Summerland version of paradise.

I end up losing lucidity but eventually regaining it in a similar hallway to the first. I hold a similar intention but ask to see a guide rather than a “spirit” guide on the off chance that doing so will allow me to communicate with non-human guides. I open and walk through another door and find myself in complete blackness.

I feel with my hands in front of me and discover a woman standing there wearing a form-fitting tee shirt and jeans. I literally can’t see anything (it’s like I’m blind) and I get nervous that this is some kind of hideous, eyeless monster waiting to devour me with her fangs so I fumble my hands up to her face (feels 100% normal) and she flinches back, not in a absolutely disgusted way but more in what feels like an instinctive reaction to a stranger groping your face.

I try to talk to her but my words are muffled and I can’t hear anything I’m saying so it’s like I’m blind and deaf, and I wake up feeling incredibly excited.

Thoughts/feedback, anyone?

No one who does not know himself can know others. And in each of us there is another whom we do not know. He speaks to us in dreams and tells us how differently he sees us from the way we see ourselves. When, therefore, we find ourselves in a different situation to which there is no solution, he can sometimes kindle a light that radically alters our attitude–the very attitude that led us into the difficult situation.
–C. G. Jung, “Collected Works”

[anon47923162]

First bit sounds less like a dedicated guide but more a passed magician taking notice of you and giving advice and possibly other aid.
Now to understand spirit guide for me would refer to one you would have more contact with and not a one off thing.

Though I get the feeling you should focus on the concept of RestHome for your next lucid dream and no not the place for old folks this is different.

[Nyxifer]

@anon47923162

First bit sounds less like a dedicated guide but more a passed magician taking notice of you and giving advice and possibly other aid.
Now to understand spirit guide for me would refer to one you would have more contact with and not a one off thing.

Right, I thought it was interesting that he told me I wouldn’t see him again. Didn’t think about him possibly being a magician but it make sense.

@anon47923162

Though I get the feeling you should focus on the concept of RestHome for your next lucid dream and no not the place for old folks this is different.

What’s that?

[anon47923162]

It is similar to the concept of Summerland but it is a bit different. Enough so that I would consider a separate place in general that would surround and embody many different afterlives and the spaces between but it is more than just an afterlife as well and more its own dimension of existence.

[Nyxifer]

Huh, I’ll try to pop over there next time. Thanks for the feedback, man!

[anon47923162]

Also Jormungandr can help get lucid and semi lucid dreams working a bit better but he tends to keep you in his realm to talk all night when you call him. Still would highly recommend spending time with him. You passively assimilate a new type of perception by being in his realm along with a few extra interesting things.

[Haplo]

Definitely the “this is one time only” sounds similar to a teaching one night stand and Im not sure thats too great development wise. Hopefully you get a serious guide

[DarkestKnight]

@Nyxifer

Right, I thought it was interesting that he told me I wouldn’t see him again.

This is interesting to me, because a few years ago, after I found out that some “higher power” had bound my prosperity, Lady Eva had undertaken a journey for me to find a spirit for advice on how to overcome this binding, and, though her intention was to find one that had a personal connection to me, she was approached by a spirit that looked like an African shaman who had no personal connection me, but wanted to help.

This meeting sounds like it could be something very similar.

[Nyxifer]

Yeah, I’m gonna keep trying until I find a dedicated mentor. Still a cool first time experience though, even if I did get pawned off to an astral freelance consultant.

[Nyxifer]

Had a powerful dream vision of some kind of infernal entity last night. It had the chubby legs and feet that cherubs have in popular culture, but the head and torso were completely obscured by a pitch-black cloud of darkness radiating out from the center of its face. Didn’t get a name though.

Video meliora, proboque, deteriora sequor.
(I see better things, and approve, but I follow worse.)
–Ovid, “Metamorphoses”

[Nyxifer]

Courtesy of @Haplo I was inspired to finally sit down and crunch the numbers for something I’ve believed for a while but had no hard proof. Et voilà!

Thesis: Using reversed cards in a Tarot spread means that, probabilistically speaking, you are more likely to foretell a negative outcome/answer for your question.

Methodology:

Using the Biddy Tarot definitions (Learn the Tarot Card Meanings | Biddy Tarot) I’m categorizing a card (whether in the reversed or upright position) as having a negative meaning if the number of clearly positive terms in its definition is greater than the number of clearly negative terms. I did not count those that were on the fence; i.e., the definitions that had equal numbers of positive and negative words.

Results:

17 / 22 of reversed Major Arcana have negative meanings compared to 3 / 22 upright Major Arcana.
7 / 14 of reversed Cups have negative meanings compared to 2 / 14 upright Cups.
7 / 14 of reversed Swords have negative meanings compared to 7 / 14 upright Swords.
10 / 14 of reversed Pentacles have negative meanings compared to 1 / 14 upright Pentacles.
8 / 14 of reversed Wands have negative meanings compared to 1 / 14 upright Wands.

So we have (17 + 7 + 7 + 10 + 8) = 49 reversed cards with overwhelmingly negative meanings compared to (3 + 2 + 7 + 1 + 1) = 14 upright cards that have overwhelmingly negative meanings.

Therefore, assuming the probability of randomly pulling a reversed card vs. an upright card from a shuffled deck is (1 / 2), the probability of getting a negative card allowing reversed meanings is (1 / 2) * (49 / 78) + (1 / 2) * (14 / 78) = (0.3141 + 0.0897) = 0.4038 or 40.38%.

vs.

The probability of randomly pulling a negative card from the deck using only upright meanings is (14 / 78) = 0.1795 = 17.95%.

In other words, you are (40.38% - 17.95%) = 22.43% more likely to pull a negative card by allowing reversed cards in your Tarot spread.

Discussion:

This seems to confirm my hypothesis (please tell me if I’ve made any mistakes with the math!). Of course I am not considering the other big factor in Tarot readings which is the use of intuition to determine a specific card’s meaning outside of the standard definition, nor am I taking into account the fact that the meaning of various cards changes depending on their context and placement within the reading as a whole, but going from the numbers alone it seems like allowing reversed meanings does make it more likely you will get “negative” cards.

The question is, now, how does the mechanistic probability of selecting a particular card interact with the synchronicity of “randomly” selecting a card that matches up perfectly to answer your question? In other words, how does Randomness/Chance mesh with Predetermination/Fate?

I’ll get back to y’all on this as soon as I figure out all the other unsolved philosophical and spiritual problems that torment me.

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
–Emo Philips

[Nyxifer]

How to use the Ouija board by yourself and various tips & tricks for success:

How to Use the Ouija Board by Yourself

[Cthulhu-Talking-board-650-1] I’ve always thought it strange that EA’s Mastering Divination course starts out having you use the Ouija board alone. Not because it’s potentially dangerous (because it can be if you don’t know what you’re doing), but for the simple fact that it’s usually damn hard to successfully use the thing by yourself unless you’re a natural medium. When I first tried using one alone I was all hyped up with the anticipation of contacting dead relatives and summoning demons t…

The glass mouth sucks blood-heat from my forefinger.
The old god dribbles, in return, his words.
The old god, too, writes aureate poetry.
–Sylvia Plath, “Ouija”

[Nyxifer]

Have observed a fairly consistent motif of traveling through a dark ribbed tunnel during my astral experiences lately. I had no idea what this means (besides the usual Freudian interpretations) but then while rereading Michael Harner’s The Way of the Shaman I discovered that this is a common description of the tunnel to the Lower World that shamans travel through. I keep feeling that I’m traveling up though when it happens.

“There were these giant black animals, something like great bats, … who said that they were the true masters of the world.”
…He stared up toward me with his sightless eyes, and said with a grin, “Oh, they’re always saying that. But they are only the Masters of Outer Darkness.”
–Michael Harner, “The Way of the Shaman”

[Nyxifer]

We interrupt this regularly scheduled broadcast to bring you haunting music to mourn the human condition by.

[Nyxifer]

Stumbled across a passage from Steve Savedow’s book Goetic Evocation that pretty closely parallels the aftermath to my first evocation with Belial (ignoring his melodramatic pseudo-Christian interpretation of events):

Although no visible appearance took form, we were both stricken with a nameless fear. The primal instinct of a man when encountering a being of demonic nature stimulates terror and loathing, which must be overcome eventually, but neither S.H. nor I have ever experienced such a presence, a power or force not of the world which man usually dwells. Perhaps a form of concentrated evil, although words fail to capture this feeling of dread and disgust. One could never prepare themselves effectively to initially encounter this experience with no desire to flee and hide from such a horrible fate, at the clutches of a demon spawn from hell.

We immediately ceased the evocation, then shakily performed the release and closing, and proceeded to banish the circle area with the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram, the Banishing Ritual of the serpent, and The Star Ruby. But afterwards, a dark presence hung in the air of our temple, like a dense cloud or fog. Hated, diseased, unseen, the feeling of a soul tortured and tormented over countless eons of eternal and infernal damnations.
…
The dark presence loomed in the temple for approximately twelve days, surviving well over one hundred well performed banishing rituals, before becoming unnoticeable. This may be described as an astral “fog”, which seemed to permeate the area, apparently seeping into other areas of the dwelling. Several visitors commented on experiencing an “uneasy feeling” in other rooms, and some mild poltergeist activity did occur during the twelve day period. No severe reactions were recorded, however, and after this period, things seemed to return to “normal”.

Now I conducted my evocation alone in a separate room while my girlfriend was in an adjacent one, and while I felt a sense of euphoric power from the communion, she did experience the same nameless fear and incoming rush of a powerful, sentient force of “evil” that led her to frantically run outside of our apartment. We also had the same aftereffect of spiritual contamination, in that a heaviness or thickness in the air palpably oozed from my temple area into our bedroom (and one that only seemed to agitate and worsen after attempts at banishing, but eventually dissipated). Likewise, I felt more at home in the energies but it gave my girlfriend nightmares and pretty extreme anxiety until it went away.

I’m left wondering what determines how an individual will react to demonic energies: are some of us constitutionally predisposed to vibing better with the infernal, or is it more a matter of differing reality tunnels (if you believe that demons are malevolent and out to get you, this is what you will experience)? I’m leaning more to the latter now that (more than a year later) she’s had some very positive experiences with Azazel (but still won’t fuck with Belial, lol).

Be careful, lest in casting out your demon you exorcise the best thing in you.
–Friedrich Nietzsche

[A_Pariah]

@Nyxifer

are some of us constitutionally predisposed to vibing better with the infernal

I think that predisposition shouldn’t be underestimated. My SO is a piece of wood when it comes to energies. He wouldn’t sense a presence if it would do a heated break dance right in front of him. The one and only presence that ever made me to think about leaving my seat ASAP was Focalor because it was REALLY REALLY heavy. And there my SO was, in the neighbouring room, totally oblivious. The only energy he receives so far is a funny little thing: he sleeps much better since I started with it.His sleep disorder is gone

[Nyxifer]

Hah, that’s awesome! Yeah, it’s strange how some people are totally oblivious to spiritual energies while others notice them immediately. I tend to have to work at it whereas she’s more naturally sensitive (I enjoy bugging the hell out of her by asking for verbal descriptions of what the energy in question feels like until she throws her hands up in exasperation ).

They do say though that women tend to make better scryers and psychics than men but I wonder if there’s any correlation between psychic ability and one’s natal chart (maybe not specifically Sun sign but perhaps the associated element)? I’m sure being raised in an environment that incorporates spiritual entities into one’s worldview probably helps as well.

[Nyxifer]

Haven’t really been on for a while cuz of life 'n stuff, but figured I’d pop back in to catch up with friends. On the plus side, blockages that were holding me back have been blown to smithereens, which has been a painful but necessary (and ultimately, very beneficial) process. The kicker is that I’m pretty sure this is all just an extended result of a working I did with Belial close to two years ago. Took a while to manifest but goddamn is he effective at breaking chains, metaphorical and otherwise.