I'm very desperate I don't know what to do with my life

Throughout my life I have had to endure a lot of pain and suffering to give you an idea of what I have been through, I can tell you that I have been abused and mistreated in every possible way and I have absolutely no friends, I had a better friend who betrayed me and told all my secrets and made people hate me and make fun of me, I’ve been through a lot believe me. Now I am very desperate to end my suffering and I have tried to resort to magic to help me have a better life but none of that works, I have tried with demons, sigils, meditations, manifestations and absolutely nothing works and I’m gone giving up and lately I’ve been having suicidal thoughts because I think it’s enough and I want this to end once and for all. Could someone give me a quick solution? Could I be cursed or something like that? Can you give me some solutions to get money, a job, friends, a girlfriend and that nothing bad happens in your life? And I know that the last question sounds a bit silly but you should want to stop suffering. I don’t care if they tell me that the only solution is suicide, I already consider that it is the only one.

And sorry if I made mistakes is that I use a translator

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The fact that you already in an age of 16 consider suicide is weakness and silly. You really want to allow your enemies to win? You can invoke demons and have them teaching you to empower you for instance teaching you skills in finance and business so you can become wealthy eventually. You can learn to meditate to discipline your mind and hit the gym to build your body and looks. You can really becoming great as a man, so use these opportunities you have now. I had none of it when I was in your age.


The very first thing you should do immediately is to call free crisis hotline (you can find the one operating in your location from here: https://findahelpline.com/ ).

Life in your age can be very hard and miserable, but you’ll miss all the good things if you end your life now. A job, friends, a girlfriend, all the amazing experiences are very likely. In your age majority of people don’t have yet those things but majority of people experience those things at some point in their lives. Imagine this: you are older and happy, and look back thinking ”I’m so glad I didn’t end my life”. At that point all those people who made your life miserable are meaningless, you couldn’t care less about them. We all have horrible moments (especially in younger age) but you can’t let them define you and the rest of your life.

Meditation in your state of mind can do more harm to your mental health than any good. Shadow work and therapy aren’t really so different, so I’d first advise you to seek a professional to talk to. Bit by bit you’ll notice improvement. You need to put yourself first and grow so strong that you can handle the hardships life sometimes throw at you. Also think about this: if one is never sad or experience hardships, how could one ever appreciate the good times and happiness?

Your life is a gift and you can do wonderful things with it. Don’t give it away before it has even began! Give the magick a rest and focus on yourself and mental health for a while. A good mental health is essential to work with spirits and manifest. Results take time and start from yourself. You are worthy, remember that.


I fully agree. In my dark times I found that meditation just created more space for my very negative ruminations.

I again concur. Get in to talk to a professional.

Again, agreement. I am in that space now. In my dark times I very very very nearly self terminated many times. Now I am glad that I did not.

Absolutely. Its a strange thing really, improvement creeps on you incrementally. I didn’t even notice it at the time. It wasn’t until one day I noticed that I was no longer miserable, that no longer ruminated on the things that had happened to me much or to the same intensity. All of my suicidal ideations had gone. I couldn’t put my finger on when change happened, because it was a gradual process. When I looked back, I was amazed at how far I had come. I believe that it will be the same for you.
As I changed, other people were drawn to me, no longer put off by the energy I was exuding.

Stay the course. Keep going. Things will change. Talking to a professional is a great start.

There is also something else that will help, again gradually over time. This is our friend Luna- I wish I knew about her when things were dark:
Safe Servitor for beginners, banishing, protection, shielding and warding - Spirits, Evocation & Possession - Become A Living God

You see, in your current state you will be generating and attracting some pretty counter productive energy and this becomes something of a cycle. Our Luna is great for transmuting and cleansing energy in your space. I suggest calling her in daily and you should start to notice your environment feeling lighter over time.


My friend, I have been in a difficult situation for years and I imagine how you feel. First of all, try to screen out all the negative energies that come from outside… I’m speaking, in very practical terms, especially of toxic people. Don’t absorb their negativity, dump it all outside. Let the criticism slide off you. In this regard, I recommend reading a beautiful book, a milestone of Taoism: The Liezi of Lie Yukou.
For more practical purposes, buy Damon Brand’s book Magickal Protection and perform the protection ritual for 33 days. It works!

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I’ll also second this one

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It’s unlikely you’re cursed, but are you running your workings from a place of lack?

You need to leverage the vision of the good like you want and bring it here now by focusing on it as if it’s manifesting in front of you right now. The Universe is bad a negatives, so if you focus on lack, or even manifesting in the future not now, you just manifest more lack. This is a common issue. The future never comes you see.

Can you give us an example of one of these workings and what your words and emotions were during? Maybe we can troubleshoot one and get that working?


And how am I supposed to summon a demon? And how do you summon one? I have read Gordon Winterfield’s book Demon of Magick and I have not contacted any spiritual entity no matter how much I wanted to.

I remember my life was full of suffering not too long ago, at the end I found out it was a spirit messing with the people around me, so never give up become a warrior with brave heart and mind. Life will always be hard, death is easy. So never go down that road of suicide. If it truly comes to that go seek help.

A tip to help your condition is to become a healer or can energy healing. There is reiki and other forms of healing to help situations in your life in a passive way.


I know a genius from Franz Bardon who takes care of people who have committed suicide! it gives you insight that this act stops your learning

Hyrmiua also controls all those people committing suicide, whose deed is not carried out under the conditions of Karma, so that they do not regain there consciousness in the astral world before the period has elapsed which they should have lived on earth. Not before the expiration of this certain period will suicides awake from their twilight sleep to get their full astral consciousness


I’d suggest a few things 1) search “daydream meditation” on Youtube, 2) if you’re able to create a feeling of happiness (for example by recalling memories or paying attention when you listen to music you like etc.) maintain it for as long/evoke it as often as you can.
Then also a practice where you “just stay awake” i. e. you let go of everything except consciousness, concentrating on a silence/void and gradually making it your “foundation”.

I wanted to offer to contact jromoni for free ! for people who have money difficulties but the rules of the forum indicate that you have to wait 90 days !

jromoni, (15 degrees Taurus) -, being an excellent initiator, he can inform the magician how to make money easily and quickly, providing Divine Providence approves of it - by wins, bets, speculations etc. Jromoni also knows where to find hidden treasures and if he thinks it wise he can tell the magician their exact location. However, this head knows very well, whether or not the assistance which he is to give the magician is permissable from the karmic point of view. If he should not give the magician the assistance he wants, he will tell the magician so during his first evocation and will only assist him as much as he is permitted by Divine Providence without burdening the karma of the magician. The magician should know that sometimes wealth, riches and surplus money may be great hindrances on the way to perfection.

I recommend more the books Goetia Pathworking and Goetia Demonolatry. No matter what it requires training. You have no magical training. You cannot just summon a spirit. It takes practice of magick to do so.

How can you be sure? Ask yourself this…. are your senses well enough developed yet to know if you have?
Note that the book in question requires some mental precision during the requesting phase and it can take quite some practice to get this nailed right.
Also pro tip, when you carry out the ritual, try to do it in moments that you are not feeling desperation or experiencing strong negative rumination

It might seem minor, but I have found if you vibrate the spirits name in your lowest possible voice, it makes the manifestation much more concrete.

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To my previous reply I’d add about this point of contacting spirits that, according to an Italian magician, even a skeptic laughing at the idea of seeing the Devil actually evokes a demonic entity, simply by imagining for a moment the classic devil with horns, tail and bat wings.
Try working with entities through writing, for example it seems that an approach may be a story where you contact a spirit for a certain goal; or, if you ask questions, what would the entity answer?

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You sound like me. In the past. I went through various hells, both earthly and those in the realm of shadows. I don’t know a simple solution because your life has been designed that way by those who hate you. You need a doctor, a tough character and patience.
If demon magic doesn’t work for you, try angel magic.
If you need magical therapy, only demonism can really help
on page 375 in the book Satan The Adversary. You have a special ritual. Works. It really works.
If you want to commit suicide so much, pray to Jesus using the chaplet of mercy. It will be his fault. So he made promises. I don’t care how he does it.

There is no solution but to suffer well. Magick doesn’t provide happiness.

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“Happiness is not something you can give someone else, it’s something you have to earn yourself”

We’re not meant to be beggars all our lives. There must be an end somewhere. Freedom and freedom of choice.
Only when you say “I want to go higher” will you get tired again.
Perhaps I was too intoxicated with Belial’s words you gave me about my greatest weakness and “Antichrist Therapy”.
It is not easy. I still have to try, even more. But life is somehow more pleasant, joyful and bright.

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