I could put this in the Love, Sex Magick, and relationships category, but I'm not asking for help, just making an observation

[crookedpathfinder]

@Jaden_Isaac

To me, this is a show of respect to women

You say that, but it all sounds very fear based.

Essentially, you’re treating women as posing an existential threat to you if you so much as fuck up even a little bit.

You’re actually terrified of women.

You sound like your constantly looking over your shoulder.

@Jaden_Isaac

Going back to the dream I had last night

For reference:

I had a dream about porn

So, in this dream I had, I somehow won a sweepstakes where a guy was supposed to take me on a tour of some porn set. The tour guide was this guy named Roy Stone. He was tall, around his early 30s, and was dressed in a good suit. He took me into the company, but eventually just disappeared. Because I was in a space that wasn’t my own (a business), and the one guy who gave me permission to be there left, I felt like I had no place being there. I froze and panicked, wondering if I should leave…

@Jaden_Isaac

, typically when around women, I try to follow some self-made rules. Keep 4 feet of distance when possible. Avoid physical contact. Don’t approach without good reason. Keep my gaze on unoffensive areas. Speak only professionally. And duck out at the first sign of disapproval. These are strict rules, but this is how strong that fear of offending is.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvthis response seems very in line with the above:

@A_Pariah

@Jaden_Isaac

I don’t understand the Fitbit issue,

I would see the Fitbit part as a symbol that you have issues to let go. In my perception a Fitbit can symbolize the need to have CONTROL over certain aspects of our life; how much we eat, how much we move, etc. Eating healthy and making sports can be a source of pleasure and a Fitbit is an ally for this healthy and enjoyable lifestyle. But eating healthy and doing sports can also come as some kind of compulsion and obsession, which turns the Fitbit into a Tyrant and master over our body and lifestyle

Losing the Fitbit in a setting that displays pleasure (friendly porn actresses, etc) could point towards a problem that makes it difficult for you to enjoy pleasure as an act of self-love and to trust your instincts about what gives you joy (doesn’t have to be limited to sex, it could also include other parts of your life). Pleasure seems to be linked to overthinking, overanalyzing, OCD-related thought patterns, etc

@Jaden_Isaac

due to being ignorant of some social rule.

By chance, are you autistic?