I have been steering back and forth to the occult/left hand path my whole life and for the last 2 months I have committed myself to opening the door and not running away.
Why run away, not sure. I think its a combination of things, I had a very profoundly negative experience when i was young which sat with me until now, never the less. Im here =-)
I have briefly touched on Norse/odinism, research but no practice.
Off the mark i completed a Invocation with Lilith, which I feel was very positive.
At this stage I feel so goddam apprehensive about any sense of ritual magick and i don’t understand why, almost like a sense of dread, sorry if i sound like a pussy, sorry ladies but yeah.
Any advise on where to now ?
Also, does anyone know or have any info or opinion on a Caulbearer ?
Try creating some wards maybe, so you’ll feel safer? Walk-through on that here.
It’s normal to feel some fear, this is breaking open the old reality and introducing a new one, it never really goes away either if you’re constantly seeking out newer and bigger challenges.