Originally when i was a little one, i had stumbled onto some of the classical texts, kybalion, some of crowley’s work ect. Then i found lovecrafts work and curiosity lead me to call to the crawling chaos with a simple meditation using a candle and his name as a mantra. After i noticed a distinct shift in atmosphere being the punky kid i was i basically shouted out “Teach me to be as the old ones!”
At first i sought knowledge and i got very good at finding it. I have a small library on a hard drive. Few years ago i decided to start seeking how to apply this knowledge and turn it into power and ways to apply and turn the knowledge i had into power started falling in my lap.
The last thing i was told was Basically to evolve so my brain wouldnt melt while working with them. I posted a bit about it here Most powerful and dangerous currents on the planet? - #20 by Dinmiatus and on a few other threads.