That might be tricky - I have to take a handful in the morning, another few midday, and another handful at night… But the antidepressant is only first thing in the morning. But it’s a whopper… I’m gonna see if I can convince the doc to drop it. The side effects are beginning to outweigh the benefits - and once you’ve been on them as long as I have, your body starts getting used to them and the desired result is no longer achievable. I’m sure you know what I mean. Knowing now that its most likely the cause of my radio-silence, it feels as if I’m in handcuffs and leg-chains. I just wanna throw them off so I can hear at last…But I can’t - well, at least not yet… Until I figure something out. Dagnabbit!
Heard kratom is good. But it is just like marijuana , and gives addiction too I heard. And it may worse condition.
I would have to completely disagree here based off my own experience. I take antipsychotics and have not noticed any disconnection to the spiritual realm. If anything, an anti psychotic allows me to break into the mundane world with my own influence. I’ve never been turned into a zombie from meds and it will vary person to person but it will not affect the “channel” to spiritual realms as you claimed “110%”. All the horror stories you hear about meds are from people who weren’t given the right medicine or were on too high of a dose.
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Exactly bro. There are no way to find the right medicine. Doctors prescribe it, men take it. But I totally disagree with you. Being a software developer, I have struggled with arithmetic functions, cognitive senses, driving and libido when I was on medicines. There are many pharmaceuticals , they do backdoor paper works to push their brands, and the victims are poor humans. With these medicines, men develop boobs. Whats the reason ?
I agree that my meds did not affect my spiritual work as you, it may have improved because of my improved mental state. However there are physical risks that do come along with taking these meds long term if you are medication compliant. For instance, I unfortunately developed tardive dystonia which is a permanent and more severe form of tardive dyskinesia. For me though, medication is still worth taking, for others they may come off or change the medicine. You really have to be honest with yourself when it comes to what is most important.
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So bro, that says , these medicines are poisons and better relay on something like herb, marijuana.
No actually I was saying the exact opposite.
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I also smoke marijuana daily and I find it’s a good combo for me.
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Well without my meds id be in a psych ward right now so I think they are pretty important, at least for me. I also take 2 max dose anti depressants and have only good feelings from these meds. Again, I can’t speak for everyone who takes them because everyone’s body chemistry is different. But the meds give a sense of clarity to me and improve my quality of life. Where before I’d be paranoid about what others were saying in public, now I can tune them out completely and force them to be guests in my reality, not the opposite. I think you shouldn’t be so quick to discount pharmaceuticals because while some are bad news, they can also help alot of people.
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Not sure if this was addresed but have you had your testosterone levels checked recently? I went to Dr years ago with what I thought was depression and he said in males low T can mimic depression. Long story short I started on testosterone therapy and felt alot better and sex drive was back.
Hope your able to get your life back my friend 
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Try aphrodisiac herbs or fasting to detox from the medications completely
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i was on forced on antipsychotics too without any proof i did anything just my parents word that i was lazy and not taking care of myself and they were like hell i tried to kill myself like 10 times because it gave me unberable restlessness and it probably lowered my iq by 30 i also had all the side effects the you had, they also reduced my sensitivity to energy over time and my ability to go theta when it was just developing, i didnt have any bad experiences from ssris just antipsychotics, the ssri did make me feel better. i also cant get high on them antipsychotics, you can check the antipsychiatry subreddit if you want to read more stories, they also gave me bad anxiety that fixed itself after i fasted for 2 weeks, fasting increases growth of neurons and neurothrphic growth facter by 0.5 to 4x and increases human growth hormone 10 to 15 times and regenerates stem cells, it even has a 68 percent success rate of imroving schizoprhenia according to an old russian study. i also got anxiety from it after being forced on it a second time and i healed that by taking iboga, i would recommend psychedelics to help heal your brain, theyre known to improve neuroplasticity and it helped me and some poeple had success with them on reddit for healing, most epople say they recover 6 tto 24 months after stopping but some dont recover at all. if you ever get forced on them agaain ask for cobenfy it works differently ans shouldnt have the same side effects. antipsychotics also made this parasite faking my higher self to me alot worse when it wasnt doing anything before. i also had dreams of being forcibly injected in a hospital when i didnt have nightmares before