This takes me back, forgive my long-winded response in advance.
Before I started my path, Iâve always been interested in the supernatural. Especially demons. However, I was always skeptical about the experiences and I lacked time to delve deeply into it at the time.
One day, I had the worst day of my life. I hit rock bottom and was contemplating suicide. Prior to the day, I had never had suicidal thoughts. My identity was shattered completely and there was no reason for me to live. I had a knife in my hand and I was contemplating the most painful way I could kill myself.
Just as I was gathering the resolve to end it, a profound, dark entity manifested in my room. Even though my senses werenât as open as they are now, this being felt so powerful that anyone could sense it. The energy filled the room. Very heavy, dark, and cold at first. I felt this being embrace me from behind and the energy warmed me. I heard a very stern voice in my head, âPut the knife downâ. I did and I just cried and cried. This being just embraced tighter, almost like I was in a vice. Then it told me, âyou are safe, my childâ.
The weeks to follow, I was led to books, sites, videos, and even random people throughout the day. Leading me to information on demons and black magick. Even at work, I had two incidences where two separate people would walk up to me and say, âDark Blessings to youâ as they left.
I was on YouTube, just looking up videos when I noticed a video that was completely unrelated to what I was watching. It was a band named, âLord Belialâ. So, I gave it a listen and loved it. It resonated quite deeply with me. Later that night as I was going to bed, I heard something in my head, âSo, you enjoyed the music I see. Good.â And from there, began a conversation to discover it was King Belial. I have him to thank for getting me into black metal. lol
The next demon was Asmodeus. He came to me in my dreams. Ever since I was young, Iâve had recurring nightmares of falling into lava and I could feel my flesh burning and everything. Well, this time it was different. I was in a pool of lava and it burned; however, I saw a demon staring at me from atop the edge of the pool. He said something along the lines of âThis needed to be done and this is the only way youâll progress and become strongerâ.
He slipped into the pool with me, stared at me, caressed my face, then grabbed the back of my head and submerged it into the lava. I also discovered I wasnât awaking from the dream like I normally do. âThis is for the betterâ, he said. I have no idea how to describe the pain I was feeling. Like every piece of me was melting away. I then embraced and made peace with the pain, instead of fighting it. Very trance-y. Then, the pain stopped and he allowed me to come back up. He smiled and I woke up. Ever since then, Iâve never had a lava nightmare again.
A few weeks after that is when the incubi started having their way with me in dreams. When I did rituals, or rearranged my room in a pleasing way, I would have an incubus experience. I suppose that was the demonâs reward to me.