Hi everyone. I don’t even know how to ask this or explain this so please bear with me. About a year ago, I received a visit in my sleep(or that point where you first wake up but are still really tired) from a female being. She was all black, but I could see her form. She was on top of me, but not really in a sexual way, though her energy did get me “excited”. She squeezed both of my palms as if to show me love, like saying “everything that is about to happen to you is out of pure love”. Then she disappears. Sure enough, right after this experience I felt a huge fire in my lower body. Whoever she was, she ignited the Kundalini fire within me, and I just realized what it was about 3-4 months ago.
Now, here we are a year later and there has been a major transformation. The before and after of meeting her is a complete 180. Before I was addicted to every pleasure out there. Hardcore addiction to drugs, gambling, food, you name it. Obsessions, lying, etc. Wasn’t “spiritual” at all and didn’t really care about anything. Now it’s all about calm, patience, fasting, purification. It’s like she entered my body and went to war with every “demon” that was controlling me. She is my constant guidance to continue to improve myself. No TV, no music that pollutes my mind, nothing detrimental to the temple. After the first several months of disaster and destruction, it has been by far the most positive experience of my life. All of my relationships are better, my body is in much better shape, a complete metamorphosis. I dropped down to 125(the destruction, food sensitivities, etc), but now I am building myself back up, which is essentially what the Kundalini is all about.
I think that is enough to get the idea of what happened. About two months ago after finally looking into a synchronicity that had been in my face for months, I came to understand that the “being” was the Hindu Goddess Kali Mata. Everything I read about her matched my experience. Transformation, destruction, etc. So you can say I have become a Kali worshipper. The thing is though, I just read about Lilith and Lilith seems to matchup more with what I have seen with my own eyes, twice. All black, on top of a male(me), and getting me “excited” down there. Now nothing overboard happened with this being, but this part doesn’t really sound like Kali. Does Kali’s energy usually cause this in men? I don’t know. Just the same though, Lilith doesn’t really sound like a Goddess out to help men and transform them(or in my case, save my life). Or maybe she is and I have just bought into all of the negativity about her. I have read that she, too, can awaken Kundalini.
Are they the same? Is calling out to Kali the same as calling out to Lilith? Does it make a difference? Like for example, my friends call me by one name, but my family calls me by another? I’m still the same person either way, right? I’m not up to snuff on many things occult as all of this is still new to me and I just kind of stumbled and bumbled my way into this world, with the aid of this female deity. Excuse my ignorance, but it has caused a little anxiety in me, that I don’t know exactly who I am building a relationship with.
