ZOMG I opened my 3rd eye

…and all I got is a HUGE zit on my forehead, maybe I did it wrong?

A little humor for your Friday.

This will be a rant, well it will be my attempt to vent my frustrations. So if you don’t care, or think that I am full if shit, I advise you to skip this. I will try to be as level headed as I can.

I have been pretty steamed over the last little while. To the point where lastnight I seriously thought of leaving this site behind me.

And then this morning I followed Poete’s link to WF, and I was hurt to see that apparently people think that I, along with others on this forum, have Koetting’s cock down my throat. I like his books but, Koetting fanboy I am not.

When I joined this forum I was not naive enough to think that everyone here was the best of friends, but I did notice that for the most part people were cordial to one another.

Bit members like Cloud9, kitari, redcircle, Bran, S.V.E. and others are in short supply. Don’t get me wrong there are some amazing mages here, but I noticed that they don’t post much. We like to throw EvocationMagick under the bus but this place came to resemble the parts of that forum that we publicly decry and hate.

So lastnight I found myself asking why I came here in the first place. Well I came here to test myself. I will be undergoing my first official training soon, everything up until this point has been me reading books and call out to the spirits by my will alone. I noticed that I got some results, but I wasn’t sure if I was just mentally masturbating. I wanted to ve sure. I sent out four talismans, scared as FUCKING HELL. I put myself out there because I NEED to know if I really can effect the world around me. So far…so good. I still await the day when TWF, Serell, Musta, or Elison publicly tell me that I was either right or wrong, either it worked or I am full of shit. If I am full of shit it will hurt to hear it, but at least I will know. I am, if nothing else, sincere.

So, no… I am not going anywhere. I made a promise to myself to take up the Runes for 24 days and share the results. So I will. After that, I will continue to flap my gums here. Many of you have inspired me and I hope that a newer magician may be inspired by something that I said here.

As for all the talk about Poete, and Necro and EA

Well I don’t “like” Poete, but I respect that he will call me on my shit. I may get offended when he does it like an asshole but, hey he is on his path too.

Necro and I have had our debates. We both dissagree vehemently about race and sexuality. You know what though, he is a talented sorcerer. He is a 19 year-old kid with some growing up to do, but I am a 28 year old kid with some growing up to do. Point is, don’t let him scare you, if he curses you learn to break curses. At some point in your magic journey you WILL face a curse, better to learn now.

EA, I like his books. I think the marketing is over the top ( and no I don’t own all his stuff) I have heard everything from “He is the greatest ever.” To “He stole all his material” you want though? It works, I have made positive changes in my life thanks to what is written in EE.

So that is it.
Never mind me, just blowing smoke.

You’re not mentally masturbating, m8. You told me the name of my spirit and the name was right. I evoked him and I saw him with the colors you saw him as well. :stuck_out_tongue:

It’s all a matter of intense altered states and self trust.

Thanks man. I am just a bit insecure…runs off to eat chocolate and watch “Titanic” to have a good cry

I have thoughts all the time of, “am I deluding myself here, just using this as an escape mechanism?” Then I’ll go do a ritual and watch results happen the next day and feel much better. I think its healthy for a mage to doubt themselves from time to to time. Obviously if one is filled with self doubt, thats not good either, but if you were going around every day thinking you’re a walking demigod, but are completely unable to do anything, then you’re truly fucked. Its good to check in on one’s self from time to time, keeps the ego in check and allows for quicker growth.

I LOL’d. Well said :wink:

Orismen I’m not trying to brown nose you by any means when I say I’ve learned quite a bit from your posts and the couple of times we chatted in PM.
You’ve always been one to happily help people in anyway you can and I can tell you actually ENJOY helping people out.
You’ve also called me out on a couple things WITHOUT being an asshole.
It’s people like you,TWF,S.V.E,Lady Eva,and a few other magicians that keep me coming back here.

I love EA’s books and he’s a gopd teacher,but it’s you guys that keep me here not EA.

Anytime I start to feel like I’m not going anywhere with my majick I jump on here and read a post or 2 about your guy’s success and it gets me PUMPED to start working on my own stuff amd keeps me motivated to not give up.

So I would like to thank you Orismen along with all the great people here at BALG.

Without even knowing it you guys inspire me and many others I’m sure to keep walking my own path no matter what anyone says or does about it.

I don’t think your full of shit Orismen, your one of the guys whom I respect and take seriously as a practitioner and I appreciate seeing posts from you.

I worked with the talisman yesterday before taking my pre work nap and while I did not feel a presence the talisman opened up quickly and I felt a shift in myself.

I’ll PM you some more stuff as I get more familiar with the talisman and the familiar attached to it. Thanks for putting yourself out there and testing yourself to see if you know your shit. I know its nerve racking sometimes to put yourself out there and wait to see what others think of your work.

Thanks man, I hope it works well for you.

I haven’t been here for very long, but I know that you, Orismen are a very helpful person. You are going places for your ascent. I am very glad I found this website though. Just being in this place programs my mind to not be afraid of black magic, but to embrace it. There isn’t a forum like this anywhere else I can tell ya.

One thing that happens on any forum where people discuss things that really matter to them, and this is doubly true of magick, religion, and politics, is that they will herd together hating on some basically fictionalised caricature who embodies what they believe to be the most ludicrous aspects of the people they define themselves against.

Usual archetypes are, fluffy wiccan, armchair ANYTHING, and any extreme that implies transgressive sexual or dietary habits.

The idea that some people here are E.A.'s fanBOYS willing to be the receptive partner sexually, even thought it’s glossed over as being a joke, harks back to very old stigmatising methods (if this forum was mainly females, no doubt the joke would be groupies, aka women who aren’t very choosy sexually, aka sluts) - I mean, it’s all right there in that “WizardForum” thread, things people have been using to make themselves feel good since at least the Roman era.

Having created this strawman/scapegoat, people are kind of encouraged to state “oh, no, I’m nothing like THAT” and thus groupthink begins to form - and that creates a lockstep in which nobody dare step out of line, which CAN at times mean holding oneself back in some way so as not to become the “tall poppy” that everyone lops down.

I joined here because the scale of E.A.'s ambition, stated right there in the domain name, made me think I might find like-minded people who were willing to try and think a little outside the conventional, and predominantly worship-based, paradigm that runs through most accepted schools of magick, and the forums and groups that discuss them.

The thing that puts me off online sharing, and that thread I just read on “wizardforum” is full of it, is the “people talking about other people” stuff - I left school quite a long time ago, and that evokes it right back into the present day… the self-congratulatory consensus that X person is a dick, yeah, let’s all work up a caricature of what they must be like, let’s go looking for even more proof.

It floats some people’s boat and makes them feel good, but it’s not my cup of tea.