Your "Demons" (Anger, Compassion, Greed, etc)

General Discussion
1

An interesting thought just crossed my mind.

There’s this saying I try to live by. They’re lyrics to a song called Arsonist’s Lullabye, but the lyrics resonated with me.

“Don’t you ever tame your demons. Always keep em’ on a leash.”

Anger
Compassion
Envy
Greed
Laziness
Love
Lust

These are all things I consider to be my “demons”, and for good reason. Keeping them on a leash is what I try my best to do. Never completely taming them.

Here’s the thought:

Is it possible (stupid question, seems like anything is possible lately) for these “demons” to manifest themselves within your consciousness? Can treating them as if they’re living, breathing things cause them to have more pull in your life?

Because I think I may have neglected one, and given it too much freedom. In other words I think I need to shorten the leash.

This isn’t something I need help with. I know for a fact that I can crush my “demons” with the sheer power of will, if it comes to that. I’ve done it before, I crushed love. Figured if I couldn’t love I couldn’t be hurt. Took a while for me to learn how again. And even once I did, love has never been the same.

I just thought it’d make for an interesting discussion.

2

I don’t see things like that as demons, I see them as warning signs something’s wrong, so they try to steer me to a place of safety by overcompensating.

Take “greed” - I’ve had some tough times (who hasn’t) and I sometimes comfort eat, but that’s not greed, that’s something in me that needs to be fed, just not with food.

It’s a positive drive that’s misdirected, but it’s still helping me realise something’s out of balance.

If I saw it as a flaw then I’d end up “battling” that and totally ignoring the real problem, and that shit doesn’t work for anyone.

I don’t do the good/bad dualism even with REAL demons, I’m certainly not going to start doing it with myself - also, I believe the majority of people’s problems come from being at war with themselves, between what they really want and what they think they “should” be, do, or have, etc.

That might suit people who like to think they have an internal battle to fight so they can get a ticket to heaven, maybe it even feels noble, but I’d rather all my psyche was marching in step, with nothing locked out, blocked out, or denied, because I have bigger plans.

3

[quote=“Lady Eva, post:2, topic:4349”]I don’t see things like that as demons, I see them as warning signs something’s wrong, so they try to steer me to a place of safety by overcompensating.

Take “greed” - I’ve had some tough times (who hasn’t) and I sometimes comfort eat, but that’s not greed, that’s something in me that needs to be fed, just not with food.

It’s a positive drive that’s misdirected, but it’s still helping me realise something’s out of balance.

I don’t do the good/bad dualism even with REAL demons, I’m certainly not going to start doing it with myself - also, I believe the majority of people’s problems come from being at war with themselves, between what they really want and what they think they “should” be, do, or have, etc.

That might suit people who like to think they have an internal battle to fight so they can get a ticket to heaven, maybe it even feels noble, but I’d rather all my psyche was marching in step, with nothing locked out, blocked out, or denied, because I have bigger plans.

[/quote]An internal struggle is all I’ve ever known.

There’s like 4 “versions” of me in play, at all times.

The person I used to be, the person I am today, the person I want to be and the person I think I should be (not based on what I want, based on what others want/expect from me).

It’s like a constant game of tug of war, for lack of a better way to explain it.

Sometimes I wish I could kill the person I used to be, accept the person I am today, be the person I want to be, and lock up the person I think I should be (based on what others want/expect from me).

4

I know for myself, I never found peace until I accepted every aspect of myself, and made a promise never to shut anything out or try to suppress anything again.

I’m not talking about being an undisciplined slob or being like some lunatic who just punches people out because I feel like it, I’m talking about the deeper stuff - I had (for example) to realise what I was really looking for in my relationship, in life, and all aspects before I could let go of those hideous fake selves composed of “shoulds” that I was comparing myself to and tearing my soul in half.

Part of this was achieved when I accepted I wanted not just to move out the love-and-lighty paradigm but actually into black magick, LHP stuff for personal ascent, and I genuinely believe that choice (plus making some dietary changes which coincidentally happened at the same time) cured me of clinical depression that had been crippling at times, driven me to the brink of suicide, and which I remember as curtailing my actions as a very young child because I alternated between intense pain and utter numbness and lack of desire to live.

This is why I don’t care too much if I’m actually crazy now, with my spirits and my ambitions - I’ll take it over the dysfunctional and painful kind of crazy any day.

You could try asking yourself, if you had a total dreamworld, an imaginary universe that you invent and then you step right into it, what would be there? Who, or, what types of new people?

There’ll maybe be some cathartic ugly stuff at first but eventually (and especially if you let go of the need to control the process) when you’re accustomed to moulding the universe to your own needs as a mental exercise, instead of torturing yourself like a clipped and stunted bonsai tree to fit into what you think this world wants - eventually you’ll find who you truly are.

Once you know that, and once you accept it, then you can step back into the real world with all your different selves marching in (more or less) the same direction, and you’ll be able to trust yourself entirely and have made a soul-deep kind of promise that you’ll be on your own side in future, which in itself is a form of strength.

Also, because your major actions are coming from genuine desire, you’ll need less of that “grit your teeth” willpower to stay with something becaue the real YOU wants it so much that the effort stops being a burden. Powerful stuff for the price of a few targeted daydreams.

This would be a start: Cabinet of invisible counsellors.

Getting back to your list, Lust and Love are two of my favourite things, I try to feel them as often as possible, Compassion has its place when you know what your values are (i.e., not tied into some external teaching you secretly don’t believe), Laziness can motivate people to invent new ways of doing things, Envy can motivate you to strive harder and Anger is often justified and appropriate.

No demons there IMO - just natural urges, and if they start to take over, they’ve become the shades of other things that aren’t being fed right now, like need for security or whatever.

That’s my take on it anyway, but my life’s not perfect and I’m still an asshole at times so, whatever. :wink:

5

[quote=“Lady Eva, post:4, topic:4349”]I know for myself, I never found peace until I accepted every aspect of myself, and made a promise never to shut anything out or try to suppress anything again.

I’m not talking about being an undisciplined slob or being like some lunatic who just punches people out because I feel like it, I’m talking about the deeper stuff - I had (for example) to realise what I was really looking for in my relationship, in life, and all aspects before I could let go of those hideous fake selves composed of “shoulds” that I was comparing myself to and tearing my soul in half.

Part of this was achieved when I accepted I wanted not just to move out the love-and-lighty paradigm but actually into black magick, LHP stuff for personal ascent, and I genuinely believe that choice (plus making some dietary changes which coincidentally happened at the same time) cured me of clinical depression that had been crippling at times, driven me to the brink of suicide, and which I remember as curtailing my actions as a very young child because I alternated between intense pain and utter numbness and lack of desire to live.

This is why I don’t care too much if I’m actually crazy now, with my spirits and my ambitions - I’ll take it over the dysfunctional and painful kind of crazy any day.

You could try asking yourself, if you had a total dreamworld, an imaginary universe that you invent and then you step right into it, what would be there? Who, or, what types of new people?

There’ll maybe be some cathartic ugly stuff at first but eventually (and especially if you let go of the need to control the process) when you’re accustomed to moulding the universe to your own needs as a mental exercise, instead of torturing yourself like a clipped and stunted bonsai tree to fit into what you think this world wants - eventually you’ll find who you truly are.

Once you know that, and once you accept it, then you can step back into the real world with all your different selves marching in (more or less) the same direction, and you’ll be able to trust yourself entirely and have made a soul-deep kind of promise that you’ll be on your own side in future, which in itself is a form of strength.

Also, because your major actions are coming from genuine desire, you’ll need less of that “grit your teeth” willpower to stay with something becaue the real YOU wants it so much that the effort stops being a burden. Powerful stuff for the price of a few targeted daydreams.

This would be a start: Cabinet of invisible counsellors.

Getting back to your list, Lust and Love are two of my favourite things, I try to feel them as often as possible, Compassion has its place when you know what your values are (i.e., not tied into some external teaching you secretly don’t believe), Laziness can motivate people to invent new ways of doing things, Envy can motivate you to strive harder and Anger is often justified and appropriate.

No demons there IMO - just natural urges, and if they start to take over, they’ve become the shades of other things that aren’t being fed right now, like need for security or whatever.

That’s my take on it anyway, but my life’s not perfect and I’m still an asshole at times so, whatever. ;)[/quote]In theory, if I was to kill 2 of these “versions” of myself… Or alter egos. It would bring silence to my mind, and end the internal struggle. Because if those 2 go, so does the self loathing and disapproval.

As I stated, I wish I could accept the person I am. But I can’t. Due to the person I used to be, and that bastard (the person I think I should be based on what others want/expect from me).

The person I used to be absolutely loathes the person I’ve become, and the person I think I should be just turns his nose up at everything that isn’t him because he’s soooo perfect (he’s their creation, not mine -_-). He looks down on me in disapproval.

If I remove those 2 from the equation, all that’s left is the person I am, and the person I want to be.

6

In some traditional schools of magick, one’s internal “demons” (anger, greed, etc) were given form, evoked into a triangle, and then bound under the will of the magician. It was seen as a way of gaining control over the mind and emotions.

Check out ‘Howling’ by Phil Hine for a look at the way a chaos magician approached the subject.

7

Try reading this newsletter from the site - provided you don’t add it to the list of things to guilt yourself over, and instead can dig out the inspirational bit - Rebellion: smashing the shcakles of your slavery.

Here’s a snippet:

Now, here’s something that might surprise you: Masters (aka Living Gods) have the same types of problems that everyone else does. The only difference is how they approach them.

The Master isn’t concerned with what the economy is doing, because he or she knows that financial success is only a 5 minute ritual away from being realized.

The Master doesn’t hold off on a ritual because the planets aren’t in the right alignment, or because the season isn’t perfectly conducive to the Operation. Sure, if these factors can align, that’s great, but the Master knows that if immediate action is required, then remaining idle isn’t an option.

While everyone else thinks about doing great things, wants to do great things, and even plans on doing great thinks, the Master actually does great things, and creates great things.

… The Master sees circumstances as neutral. They are simply there, and they can be utilized, avoided, or destroyed. The Slave sees circumstances as the building blocks of reality itself. To the Slave, each day is a series of circumstances, and he or she has to jump over them, collide with them, struggle and suffer to make it through them.

To the Master, each day is a series of Outcomes, each outcome is a result of actions, words, or thoughts, and in order to get a better quality of outcomes, he knows that he needs to generate a better quality of actions, words, and thoughts, and circumstance itself becomes pliable in his hands!

Don’t get caught up in that shit of obsessing over those outcomes you already have, or what you did “wrong” in the past, it’s the dead eye that sees what was already created and formed, not the powerful creative GODLIKE eye that sees the future it wants and brings it into being.

8

[quote=“Benefactor, post:5, topic:4349”]In theory, if I was to kill 2 of these “versions” of myself… Or alter egos. It would bring silence to my mind, and end the internal struggle. Because if those 2 go, so does the self loathing and disapproval.

As I stated, I wish I could accept the person I am. But I can’t. Due to the person I used to be, and that bastard (the person I think I should be based on what others want/expect from me).

The person I used to be absolutely loathes the person I’ve become, and the person I think I should be just turns his nose up at everything that isn’t him because he’s soooo perfect (he’s their creation, not mine -_-). He looks down on me in disapproval.

If I remove those 2 from the equation, all that’s left is the person I am, and the person I want to be.[/quote]

Or, you could consider how conflict and the existence of opposition are the only things that really drive progression and development; both Shiva and Shakti are needed. Dialectic is needed to birth synthesis, and threat, chaos, and danger have been the only things to really drive us forward and away from stagnation, no matter how far away we get from the blatancy of this in nature, and instead have to chase the signs of these motivations through the fancy tricks that make up our modern minds and views.

Or, that makes sense to me, anyway. If I weren’t opposed or challenged, I wouldn’t change at all, I’d live on a couch and read and sleep all the time without the taste for conflict! A flippant joke maybe, but disturbingly accurate in depicting a -lot- of modern people’s ambitions and “drives”. Ugh.