Yet another time of “death”

You guys remember posts of me talking about the challenges Iv faced. Well as of late Iv been given a good handful that I’m now having to deal with.

The main one I’m having to deal with is an infestation of bed bugs. I have just found them today on the day we are getting the worse weather too. I am basically forced to throw out 90% of my things to insure none come back.

This is just like the first time around I had gotten it years ago. The only difference is I’m not having to replace furniture because the place I rent owns it. But still I’m having to rid of quite a lot of things. I’m only keeping things that I know I can not replace. But even then I won’t be able to see them in a good amount of time.

This feels like a death in a way because I can not access any of my cards or books. I am stuck with the bare minimum and will be for a while. What is fascinating is how I feel on this situation. You see Iv been in the cross roads with my spiritual path. But I know that I should be working with Lucifer. So to say the least that I’m forced to only have access to the bare of bones is quite interesting and came at an interesting time.

I can’t help but to see this as not just a challenge but a form of “death” because I am giving up basically what I came use to having. It’s like the tower card came alive along with Death. I don’t feel worried but I do feel the stress of it.

Once again I’ll be without a computer and just making do with my phone. It’s like something just pushing me to get rid of the old stuff that Iv gotten. On top of it I find it interesting how I’m again pushed to not have too much attachment on physical things. This would be one of the many times in my life that I’m forced to start anew.

This time however I embrace it and welcome it. I don’t see it as a curse but in ways a blessing. A blessing that I can start yet again over and build up better then before. I am unsure if there is some spirit behind this or simply just a “ coincidence” but I do feel this is for a reason and though I honestly would rather lose my stuff a different way, this I know at least was ment to happen.