There seems to be several beginners like myself here and wanted to share some encouragement with them. Although some smaller things have happened to me, tonight was the first earth shaking experience I’ve had. I did have something pretty amazing happen a few days ago, but tonight shook me to my core.
Some thoughts of, “I’m not completely sold on this being real,” etc. have slipped in my head over the last couple months. Tonight, I am sure the powers of darkness are most definitely real! I am 100% certain.
BTW, this is not coming from a teenager living in his mom’s basement. I am a well-respected business man in my community that no one would ever expect is taking this path.
I was doing an exercise detailed in Works of Darkness, around page 40, where you visualize the darkness around you during meditation. Koetting talks about this being a frightening and awesome experience at the same time:
“Once you have endured at least five minutes of the anguish and the ecstasy of the experience, it should be utterly unbearable to remain, yet even more torturous to leave the darkness.”
I was trying to visualize the darkness surrounding me. Not much was really happening except for me being relaxed and just kind-of trying to do what Koetting said. All of a sudden I was literally gripped by a power. It was like something took hold of me on my entire body, every square inch of my skin, penetrating me and this power was running through my veins. I did not freak out (too bad) in my mind but my body was just simply overloaded. I remember asking in my mind, “how am I doing.” I thought my heart was going to explode! I did all I could to remain in this presence as long as I could, but I probably only made it to a minute. I said, “I’m going to have to leave, I’m sorry.” I opened my eyes and felt like I was raising up in an elevator back to reality. My hands were shaking. All I could do was sit there and laugh to myself. It was AMAZING!
What gets me most, is I ABSOLUTELY did not work myself up into this state. I was just relaxing and the darkness just grabbed me.
20+ years as a believer in church, 5 years out of church, 5 years back reluctantly, 5 years back in church not giving a shit. Nothing. 1 of Koettings books and few minutes. WOW!!! I can’t wait to wield and harness this amazing power!
To those who haven’t experienced anything yet, keep trying. And mentally prepare yourself not to freak out when it happens. Really, it takes a pretty sound mind to not lose your sanity when this actually takes hold of you and you experience it. I have a LONG way to go!