Working with Demons to Solve Depression

Hi, I would like to know if there are any demons that can help cope with depression or help with discipline. I know that working with demons is mostly aimed at constant self-improvement, which is why I am still on this earth. But the bottom line is that during my childhood and adolescence I went through difficult life situations and because of this it is difficult for me to understand what I really want from life or from myself or from other people. It feels like there is a constant struggle going on inside me from the very beginning. I don’t see the point in working studying or in relationships with people around me. I would think that I have clinical depression, but I really feel like this since I was born, or I was finally influenced by the events described above. I no longer know whether to die or let some demon take over my body, although I don’t know how much it is possible. I’ve had many opportunities to change my life, but I don’t understand why I should do it or for whom. I know that if life changed, it wouldn’t change how I feel. Sometimes there is a feeling that even demons are not as cruel as people. In general, you didn’t come here to listen to my whining. Can any of you advise demons to solve my problem…

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Firstly, if you are thinking of suicide or anything in relation to hurting yourself, seek professional help as this is a magic forum and we are not doctors who can prescribe or diagnose conditions related to such matters.

Now that that’s out of the way…

I can relate based on traumas, mostly but not all from the Marines
and I have had too many people (even close loved ones) bleed out on me while doing compressions to stay sane.

I had to find value in others who were just as traumatized as me because I was unable to connect with anyone unless I could establish they were anywhere near close of understanding what I had been through
I lost all value in my life and all motivation. Even debated suicide after 2 uncle’s, my brother, my first Sergeant, my captain and lastly my cousin (who died in my arms) successfully committed suicide themselves.

Then I stumbled upon EA Koettings channel and discovered Belial.

I needed to find value again.

And after establishing a communication with Belial he had me stroll through a children’s hospital where terminally ill children were on their death beds looking for any miracle to have just another day of life whilst I selfishly wanted to waste mine on a bullet to the head because I felt nothing and had lost a sense of direction or value.

Then he had me separate myself to where I could find WHAT I VALUED or WHAT I WAS INTERESTED IN to keep me from trying to please others or have them influence my choices.

I had to rediscover what it meant to live, what it meant to wake up in the morning with purpose or drive for what I was doing

I HAD FORGOTTEN WHAT IT MEANT TO WAKE UP EXCITED BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING and once you find that you can find purpose.

There is a superpower you can really only find when you don’t have any outside influence on your likes, or Hobby’s or interests.

The trick is just that. Finding what you’d do or enjoy anyways without getting paid for it. What you already would do if nothing else was around or what really really interests you.

Once you have that do the hell out of it.

Add: energy is contagious too and we must constantly police our surroundings to make sure they’re aligned with our happiest self.

Don’t go to a job you hate to make money to buy things you don’t need to impress people you don’t like. Instead find a vision of what you would do if money wasn’t a problem and you had no cares in the world then find a way to make it work.

Once you find what you value again everything else will fall into place. If I could only pick one gatekeeper to help find value then its Belial, Belial, Belial!!!

Blessed be and remember the only way to shine your light is in the dark :black_heart:

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I can agree with the above. I was in a very deep depression my whole life, for kinda the same reasons as you. Belial was the one who helped me to get out of there, and now working with Anubis who is helping me with shadow work.

But yeah, Belial :+1:

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Any form of magick will tend to help with this. Whatever magick you feel like doing, it is likely that the spirits who are coming to you are the ones that can give you what you need at this time.

I would force yourself to exercise, even if it’s just walking and some light stretching, and eat food that makes you feel good. I would also eliminate things which you know are a negative influence on your mental state. That should begin to shake things up and move you out of the circular cycle of rumination that constantly feeds itself. Meditation can also help, even just 20 minutes a day.

Honestly I’d just try stuff and see how you feel about it. That’s how I found everything I’ve ever been passionate about, and how I got to be doing what I’m doing now. Things that I really enjoy I tend to gravitate towards quite naturally, but if you’re too caught-up in depressive rumination, it can cloud your thinking and overshadow the pleasure you would otherwise feel.

A mini-vacation can also help a huge amount. Just go somewhere else. Leave. You don’t really have to do anything in particular or go anywhere special. It can be some random fucking town with nothing in it. The idea is to put yourself in a different environment to encourage new patterns.

At the end of the day, it’s up to you whether or not you arise from lethargy and take action or stay in that despair spiral. I would do whatever magick you feel could be effective at causing this transformation.

I would also let go of any attachment to labels such as “clinical depression.” As soon as you start saying things like “my illness,” that is not desirable. Kill it.

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Thanks for the reply. I tried what you describe in the comments. I lived for a year in another city where there was no one who knew me, but I still felt depressing. I had a goal during which I felt good, but later I had a sports injury, so I can’t do something that would strain my legs. I go to the pool, it’s the only thing I can do without getting worse, but I feel that it’s not enough. I had to give up my dream and it’s hard for me to find something from which I would get the same pleasure. And the big problem is the financial situation. I was working, but I didn’t understand what I was working for. It feels like nothing will change. Perhaps this is due to the fact that there is no one around who would support me even a little and everything I do I do alone. I understand that already what I’ve been through is a long way and not everyone will endure it, but I really don’t know for whom and why I’m holding on. Perhaps if all the people who took part in my psychological state get what they deserve, I will finally become calm, but I know that revenge is not always the best way out of the situation. My problem is that I am too naive when dealing with men and at the same time too free a person when dealing with superiors. It’s as if I’ve already let go of everything that can hold me and that there is no way to limit a person’s will and freedom (I’m not talking about illegal actions). And my views have never been liked by my surroundings because I don’t go the way the system wants me to and because of their opinions I suffer too. I am no longer looking for a man in reality for a relationship because those around me do not want sincere and pure love and as a result I give my love to demons during meditations and rituals and in return I get feelings that I lack. But if only these emotions could always be felt…
I will try to work with Belial as written above. Thank you for your answers, they made me feel better :slight_smile:

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Yeah
When your life revolves around something and then it’s ruined from you it’s really the worst. Like being thrown into a world of lostness

My world revolved around the Marines. I was in a small conservative town in Texas where military was praised, raised on patriotism, BBQ and the red white and blue. Grew up on saving private Ryan, we were soldiers, black hawk down and anything that contributed to the dream of serving.

And I was a damn good Marine to. After valedictorian and college I turned down military intelligence to carry a rifle in the infantry because it was my dream.

Was a team leader, made noncommissioned officer, perfect pft scores, and a double expert on rifle and pistol qualification.

When I was selected into special forces for high priority asset recovery and recapture tactics teams it was a dream come true. I had made it and was the highest state of existence in my life fulfilling that commitment honor and pride. My dream was real and I was finally doing what I set out to do.

And then I took my boyfriend to the Marine Corps ball.

Subsequently those f****** who were supposed to be my brothers beat me within inches of my life on 3 separate occasions trying to get me to switch companies because they couldn’t believe they let a “gay” in such a special unit.

Honorably discharged on other designated orders
To cover up a hate crime I was lost. Dream gone, no direction, and an utter hatred in my heart that started seeing everyone as an enemy breeding a victim mindset for myself that stole my identity. Stole everything I had to live for. Thought I’d just be homeless live under a bridge and live off disability because f*** people and dealing with humans.

But I found a way out.

If I did that… if I became satisfied with where I was or gave up they’d win. I turned my hatred in my heart to energy and I’m going to change the world and live the best life I can because that’s the Greatest revenge. While they suffer in the elements and die for some one else’s war I’ll pursue my highest self and make sure I live deliciously by doing everything I want to do that’s in my power to do so I’m not missing out on my deathbed. And if I can do it anyone can.

You got this. Not for anyone else but yourself. Do it so when your living your dream, even if it’s not your original… live a dream YOU make and YOU decide. Do it to prove them wrong. Do it so when they ask for help or see your success they can rot and you can turn a blind eye to them for their toxicity.

I believe in you. If I can do it you can to, and it shall be glorious :metal:

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Thank you for your story :pray: Yes, I agree that if you give up, others will only benefit from it. I think if you break out of this difficult period and go through the darkness correctly using your shadow and hidden sides of the personality, you can win and after that you will not be afraid of any problem. I think only then will a person be able to know his True self and what he is really capable of

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This is an internal narrative you’re feeding yourself based on dwelling in the past.

You have to ditch the narrative.

The past is done, and it’s gone. You are HERE. NOW.

It’s time to rewrite the narrative. Change the story.

This is escapist thinking.

For whom? How about just for yourself. Gift yourself the experience of the change and it’s related experiences.

Why? Well, why not?

Why sabotage yourself with all this when you can just do it and say “well, let’s see what happens!”

You’re spinning your wheels. Just hit the pavement and go.

Dantalion and Vepar for the emotions and your thinking.

Lucifer to help you see what it is you’re really doing by living these patterns and to cast light and illumination on the internal shadows that are driving your predicament.

This is an internal narrative. Self sabotage.

You don’t actually know that because you haven’t made the change.

And even if that were to be the case, wouldn’t you still be better off with the changes and still get a net benefit?

Rome wasn’t built in a day. You’re creating an expectation of a perfect alternate life and experience and then you dash it against the rocks because you choose to believe it either won’t happen or won’t be enough because.

Stop doing that.

Do you have a lack of boundaries with others letting them walk allover you or whatever?

Belial will be very helpful with this.

This is an attachment. They’re living rent free in your mind.

It might help to curse them and work through all those emotions so you can let them go and move on.

Again, that sounds like a boundary issue at play.

Belial would be good here too, but also Astarte for sure.

How so?

I’m going to say, this is categorically false. (Sorry if this sounds harsh).

You’re quite clearly being held in place by your problems. Like a cage.

You’re spinning it as some kind of “freedom”, but it’s not. It’s a cop out.

Again, sorry if that seems harsh.

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Hi, thanks for the answer, I’ll think about your words and thank you for the advice

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