Back in business.
I’m at the place where I’m going to go through with this through the 5th month (Hecate’s month) at least.
Bur this confession nonsense is still bugging me. Any of my friends (including the online ones) can tell you I have quirks, issues, and flaws. I always will.
The problem is that believing that by simply bringing them up and asking for “forgiveness” (absolution) is largely nonsense wjen it’s only words. You’re supposed to imagine those parts of you being thrown into a gate that Helios magically locks to free you from your sins over time.
I totally get Helios’ power. I appreciate him in a way I absolutely did not before this.
But this “confession” is more abput being aware of your issues and somehow hoping they get fixed by someone else, even if it’s this “higher” part of the self.
Sorry, but I spent a LOT of time in confession mode as a Mormon growing up and I call bullshit. Good for honest self awareness, but I’m not “holier” than when I started, as far as I can tell.
The confession is out. In its place, I will be doing (honest) self reflection.
Zeus, the Week 3 deity for Air, is still here and is now smiling and nodding, so that must be the right move for me. I don’t know if it is for anyone else, but I don’t have a preexisting relationship with him. I’ve never been drawn to him. So, I’ll take it at face value.
Today is the last day of Week 3 (Zeus, Air). Tomorrow starts Hades for Fire.
I has to buy more assorted candles, since I need 7 for each week and 7 more for the final week. Here (no longer in Hawaii), this comes rapidly. I’m thankful for that.
Lot of wasted wax going on here. Tiamat doesn’t care if I snuff a candle dedicated and charged to her. Maybe a similar approach would be better, but 3 out of 5 weeks in, that doesnt help. I already have replacement candles.
Since I don’t have my ritual items around, I haven’t been inscribing the candles (starting with Zeus, he didnt seem to think it really mattered). Instead, I’ve been imprinting them energetically with the symbols.
Today marks the end of Week 4 and the next week will involve doing all 4 elements, instead of single elements. One more week to complete Month 2. Feels like it’s taken forever…
Ah, Month 3. There will be some changes. I’m not wasting 28 tea lights just to meditate with my eyes closed. And I’m not wasting an hour in meditation every day. I will meditate in the fashion described in each step, but the lengths will be a bit fluid.
I suppose I should give you the gist of Month 3. First, you spend a week opening up the energy points that are similar to chakras. I already did the clearing of them with the sun breathing, but there’s some vibrating of vowels that is supposed save the day or something along those lines. My book is across the house and I’m feeling lazy after cursing someone earlier.
So the centers are empowered with magical vowels. Then on the second week, you do this with a (pretend?) energy body that you’re empowering in the same way. The third week, complete with warning to not even attempt if before week three, you match the two up, but inverted. The crown if the pretend body lines up with your feet, while the pretend feet line up with your crown. This takes a week. Week 4 is for continuing if you couldn’t pull it off at week 3.
So, there you go. We’ll see how it all plays out.
So…the first day of Month 2, Week 5. And it’s mostly Weak and not Week. The “aether” of week 5 is weaker/weaker than any flaws in the others combined.
The invocation or “pitch” to the aether is exceptionally dull. And there isn’t any sort of deity to prop it up like the other weeks.
If your skills aren’t at the bare basic level, you’ll notice that this book relies on WORDS, not ability. You’re trying to convince them to help. Doesn’t work with Week 5, for sure. You’re petitioning to something with nothing to fill the gap. It’s an indication that he almost meant it when he said it wasn’t for novices.
Most of this process is for novices or close enough.
All four of the elemental Gods and Goddesses came. I’m experienced and we are on good terms. “Aether” didn’t. I gave blood to the Gods and Goddesses candles, since we had worked together. I blooded the “aether” candles, but nothing came to claim it. I guess even the parasites thought better tonight. Hopefully that holds true for everyone else.
So, I will follow-through with this for the next week.
To be honest, I was hoping some “patron” would come through and stand for the white Aether candle. I was honestly disappointed. Really.
So, I will waste that one candle of five.
Edit - forgot the pictures…
Today was Month 2 Week 5 and rather than simply be dissatisfied with the ritual, I decided to call Helios closer and ask him for advice.
He brought my attention to part of the watch tower ritual (Elemental Pentagram Ritual) that I was also disatisfied with. I hadn’t put the two together. Thisnritual calls the elements in the quarters and then brings the attwntion back to the alter to “invoke the forces of the Spirit of Life”.
This part of the ritual always fell flat. I felt it a waste of time, of no substantive value, because it wasn’t calling on anything but a general force, using general terms. It’s the same process with Week 5. I dont know why I didnt see it.
I’ve tapped into “Nature”, the Tao, the Universe… This isn’t happening here when calling upon the “aether”. Maybe it isn’t supposed to. Maybe it is supposed to, but the act of connecting with it wasn’t put into the book. Maybe they are different things?
If I knew what the author was really trying to achieve, I could suggest some other meansnor an additional exercise to bridge the gap, but as it stands, it seems like it’s a waste of a week.
Helios : “Let the rest of it go. (Don’t get wrapped up in the dressing of it). I can shine (in)to you. So, let me shine through you (to help others)”
It’s not a submission, but a wilfully channeling.
How do you refuse that?
I’m seriously considering that Hecate pushed me towards this to help teach me along these lines and give me better agency to do so.
1 day left with Month 2.
Today marks the end of Month 2! Which feels like it should’ve been done months ago.
Tomorrow will begin Month 3. After doing some reading to make sure he wasn’t being sneaky and slipping the work in, it seems like its really just that meditation. Which seems like it’s a little light for the work that’s been required so far. Likely because he also wants you to do three meditations totaling an hour.
Regardless, goodbye Month 2.
Month 3, Day 1. Today was the mediation on the brow, where I used the blue color described and the Conjunctivitis (Conjunctio) sign in it that is a different color. I felt the area respond to the energy being put in, like it has in the past, so I don’t k is if the color and symbol schemes were working or not. I would open it during the solar breathing (and the rest of them) and fill them and clean out blockages.
I was getting ready to invoke my Higher Genius into this center and honestly shook my head a bit. I literally said, “Not sure I believe in the Higher Genius at this point”, but resolved to do it as best I could. I even hit up Helios to ask if it was going to do anything. “Just do it” was the impression I got from him.
So, I did the invocation to the HG and felt something start to enter my brow. I claimed down on it, turn to Helios, who nodded, and I let go of it to allow it to continue. I specifically did not say that I surrendered to it as the text states, nor allow it to take control. I sat there with it for about 10 minutes, just letting it do its thing, with Helios watching over.
The next part of the meditation is where the picture of the god (whichever one is chosen at the beginning) is also allowed into the center for 30 minutes. So, I asked Helios why we didn’t just use him for it? He indicated he was willing and I don’t know the other god I haven’t had any real interactions with him.
So, Helios came in to do whatever Gods do when they’re in your brow center.
Since this seemed to have worked, I’ll continue this as written.
Both when the HG and Helios were working on my throat center, it felt “full”. I didnt want to swallow, it felt so full. A bit uncomfortable, but not painful in any way. I still feel lingering effects from it. They could still be working in it, but told me I was “done” with my meditations.
That’s basically how I handled it tonight. The initial “wake up” vibration until I felr it was clear, the calling rhe HG. Let him do his thing with Helios watching until he said that part was done. Then letting Helios in to do whatever he was doing.
I’m feeling…something…that doesn’t feel negative, so might as well keep this pattern.
Things haven’t been as smooth as I thought they’d be. I have had some beneficial and baneful workings going in, several in the same night, in some cases.
Well, in one case, a sleep-over friend (not mine) was up throughout the night, culminating in a 3 am pickup from a parent for…who knows…
But that left the night before and the say after wrecked…not for anyone else…
But, 20 years (Iraq, 2003, too many details) later that’s enough to screw me up for days.
So, I did get the Heart meditation in. I contemplated re-doing it, but Helios came to say the “real” work was done and it wouldn’t benefit me (outside of my ego). I did appreciate his honesty.
So…tonight… I’ve done both beneficial and baneful workings tonight. The baneful was tje protective sort, actually, sorry, but my son is in grade school and this was…younger than that. There’s another grimoire for that. Bring it…
Anyways, I sat down to the next portion and Helios waved me off (kindly)
I’ve done other workings tonight, legit workings he was involved with and he felt I wouldn’t be up to properly doing tonight’s task. Frankly, I agree. While I’m glad it’s also because he wanted in on something, I do admit that I wouldn’t be able to properly commit to the meditation tonight.
To be honest, I evoked and spoke coherently with 6 for one task. So, I’m thankful that he’s looking out for me. It’s in another grimoire in my profile.
Hecate is a link to both. As much as I want to buck authority, I appreciate how her and the others I work with help keep me in check…
…well…as best they can…
Will be back on schedule tomorrow.
THIS is part if the delay. Frankly, not all of my stuff is public. Sometimes those with the Ability have a Responsibility, when the Skills and Will align.
I can still feel both the Higher Genius and Helios working in my Navel center. It’s an odd feeling, when either (and both) are in one of these centers and you can feel changes happening. The best I can come up with is that its a weird mix picture of swirling, churning, heaviness, and just plain old ‘strange’ - with a dash of heat thrown in for fun and profit.
I’m still trying to figure out exactly WHAT this Higher Genius is. Maybe I’ll figure it out in the end. I suspect not. I suppose I could go back and read the book again…
After many delays, Month 3 Week 1 is completed. Tomorrow starts the week where the solar body and its centers are created to mirror the physical body and the centers that have just been worked in. Since an entire “body” is being created and tuned, I suspect I’ll be spending more time meditating before I feel I should stop for the day.
Lot of extra rituals happened this week, but I just picked up where I left off the following day. While I was tempted to go back and redo a couple of them that didn’t feel as strong as the others, especially the feet, which felt awkward, Helios said it wasn’t necessary, as the work isn’t always felt directly. This makes sense, since I can tell they’re working in things, but not what and don’t feel specific changes.