Planning to use this here as a personal journal to reflect upon and hopefully see progress and learn from as I continue.
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1st attempt (New Moon)
I performed my first evocation of Lilith today following Lady Eva’s beginners guide on the forum. Not sure on my success though. I had trouble with visualizing her form in front of me.
Things noted:
The sigil did begin to glow(not like a normal brightness, but like a shiny flashing lines around the lines) and vibrate much to my surprise while I recited the Enn
The candle made a loud popping noise while i recited the Enn, did not repeat afterwards and not sure how it did it to begin with lol
After making my request I felt nothing change and saw nothing, but I did hear 2 creaks outside the room and an almost inaudible breath at one point that i’m sure wasn’t mine
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2nd attempt (Full Moon)
Still was unable to hear or make official contact. Some things did change this time though:
The paper that I had drawn her sigil on would turn greenish yellow and flow up from the bottom to the top of the page like a wave washing over it as i chanted the Enn
When I looked up from the sigil, i was unable to visualize again (I seem to have a knack of sucking at visualization on cue), but the surface the candle was on looked like it was moving under the surface
The air was a little wavy almost like a hot day in the desert
Will wait to see if dreams or anything after changes, but even though this wasn’t 100% successful, I feel it is still moving in the right direction and will try again
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3rd attempt (almost Full Moon)
Still have not established a connection. Things of note this time:
Offered her wine before beginning stating, “With respect and honor I offer this wine to you great Lilith in hopes of working with you in the future.” When i said the last word i heard a buzzing in my right ear. Looked around for a mosquito or other bug and found none in room. Didn’t happen again.
The sigil did not change colors this time, but it still seemed to slightly pop up from the paper.
When I asked for her to please appear before me, I heard multiple creaks from the floor and walls to my right and felt a chill and tingle travel up my right leg and through my groin.
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Interlude Breakthrough?!
I might of had my first contact! Really excited writing this! After evoking Lilith i had asked and invited her to my dreams in case it might be easier to connect that way. Last night i had quite the dream!
I will shorten a lot of it as it doesn’t all, for my analysis at the moment connect. Th synopsis is, I was visting my ex and kids in Japan. There were a few hours before her family and us were to sit down for dinner, so I decided to go out to the bars and my old stomping grounds. Because of something going on politically, there was a gate and fence with armed guards between the american base and Japan proper. I slipped past the guard and headed to a small festival. Don’t recall what i did there, but realized I needed to go back to the house. As I was leaving hurriedly, I bumped into and knocked down a tent at the exit of the festival. It had something written in blood on the top and it was running down to the ground since i knocked it over.(wish i had read what it said) The people at the tent were upset i knocked it over and begun chasing me back to the Japan side. Guards had doubled, so i couldn’t sneak back through the front. To the far right was a giant pond filled with wine. I jumped in and came out the otherside coated in it. I got back to the house and could hear everyone was just getting ready to sit for dinner. I rushed into my room and decided i needed a shower to rinse all the “wine” off me. I took off all my clothes and went into the bathroom. I reached down to lock the door. It had a weird lock in the shape of a 6 pointed star that i had to press in and turn to lock. I then turned to look at myself in the mirror and there was a shape of a woman, with horns, glowing a dull blue next to me. I looked away quickly, shocked and surprised. Immediately a strong pulse/vibration shook my entire body, i had to grab the sink to stop from falling it was so strong. (i could also physically feel the sink!) From deep within me came my voice but it was a females voice, 'Hey, how are ya…" I replied in my voice but deeper then usual and more distorted, “i’m good, how are you”. I could feel her smile like she found my surprise amusing. Then i woke up my entire body still vibrating. I wish i had asked more and not looked away from the mirror, but this was incredibly strong. My doubts that i had before about a breakthrough coming are gone, and i can’t wait til i sleep again/meet again.
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5th attempt (3rd quarter)
Something new. Performed breathing and mantra, then performed her enn. Have noticed vision now becomes kinda smokey when performing. Probably should lean into it, but my eyes keep snapping back to define her sigil. I asked 3 times if she was present and if she could give me a small sign. On the 3rd, i heard a crunching noise from a bowl that I offered her some cinnamon in, a wave of energy surged from my groin to head, and it seemed like someone was with me. I welcomed and thanked her for coming, let her know the cinnamon was for her, and asked a few questions. I felt no more sensations and heard no direct replies, but at one point i thought i heard wind or running water outside (calm night with no weather). I thanked her again and asked politely for her to depart in peace.
Think this is a definite win and that I am getting closer to reaching my first goal, as small of an accomplishment that this might be. Back to meditating and learning LBRP for next at full moon.
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6th attempt (still 3rd quarter)
After last night I hadn’t planned on trying again until the full moon. I was laying in bed and randomly asked Queen Lilith a question. I felt a hand run down my body coupled with energy. As i write now, I still feel charged. At the time I felt like I should offer her thanks and try the evocation again. I poured some wine to offer her, lit a candle behind her sigil, and began her enn. I could feel energy flowing through me. As i chanted I became very erect and could feel it all around me. Not sure how long/many times I repeated her Enn, but eventually I heard the sound of running water and a voice at the edge of hearing, though I couldn’t make it out. I thanked her and the sound and energy dissipated. I made the offering of wine and I made a toast to her with a second smaller cup and drank to her praise. I then meditated and asked many questions in my head and had an internalish monologue with myself, but heard and saw nothing else. Apparently I orgasmed sometime during this, but not sure when. I still feel slightly charged and amped up. Now back to meditating and prepping for the full moon, unless she calls again.
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7th attempt (full moon)
Performed LBRP. Performed evocation. Nothing really happened of note, but definitely feel heat from her sigil and the sound of air maybe?
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8th attempt (waning)
Wasn’t planning to until next full moon, but promised wine during meditation session. Not sure if evocation is needed for an offering. Will read up some more.
Performed LBRP. (messed up ehehyeh) Performed evocation. Chanted enn 13 times then offered her wine. Chanted 13 more times after and toasted separately in her name. On second 13 enn chants her sigil and paper it was on became wavy and her enn became a dark spot, then reappeared slightly green black tone and 3dish. Upon completion was just her sigil again. Felt energy on first chanting her enn and some slight head tingles after, but nothing else. Thanked her again and ended.
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Not 100% sure if it was Lilith, but writing this down.
Laid down and was somewhere between sleep and being awake, when the cave sensation began. (Body begins to vibrate, sound closing in like being deep underground). I recognized from before and decided not to pinpoint focus on it, but let it wash over me. This worked and i went quickly deeper to the point all sound stopped except a ringing in my ear (like my tinitus). I then felt a warm pressure across my body and chest that increased to the point it felt difficult to breath. I didn’t let fear get me this time, and realized even though it felt like I couldn’t breath, I was breathing normally. I asked if it was Lilith, then things got weirdish. I could hear what I thought was my mom having a conversation with my dad downstairs out of earshot. (my dad has been dead almost a decade). I sensed something sitting next to me speaking in demonic tongue? I started spouting a million things, “How are you, Thank you for being with me, Should I roll over and try to get up (felt like I rolled from my side to back), What should I be doing to help make this easier…” I felt/thought (be quiet and listen). I then heard the presence reciting what sounded to be her enn, but different. (can’t recall it all now ~grumbles at stupid memory~ but picked out Renich Viasa Ama Lilith…) I asked if I was meant to evoke Lilith again and after started repeating her enn but I was saying it incomplete “Renich Viasa Avage Lilith” After a few repetitions it all stopped and I woke up on my side. I thanked Lilith after, then tried to return.(i can jump back into dreams usually) but even though I could feel the sensation, it wouldn’t allow me back in.
Will submit to dream thread to see if i’m missing something, but glad for the experience.
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9th attempt (same)
Performed LBRP. Performed evocation. Could feel something and sigil both disappeared and flashed.
Offered Lilith a chocolate petits four in thanks for the dream. Closed eyes and repeated to myself mentally “See everything before me, hear all around me, and feel everything between”. For the first bit of time could here the air sound and the candle flame sounded like a larger fire. Heard/saw nothing. Felt tingles from my knees down during evocation. Felt tingle on right mid cheek during med. Thanked Lilith and let candle burn for a while after. Also promised not to bother her anymore til next full moon unless she specifically asks me to (cause I’m sure there are enough people annoying her)
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