Willing things and related fear issues

@BlazRa saying “There’s nothing wrong with using magic to kill people the world is quite overpopulated as it is”

Not going to disagree on that. I can think of one person who’s sueing me and my mom whom I would not mind if she died. I’m not wishing it but if she won’t settle with my insurance and drop it…then I will likely wish her dead.

so I can’t say I blame you for feeling that way.

My fears more about something unintended happening like when your young and want to see a lightning sky show then find out the storm spawned a few non lethal twisters that could have killed someone kind of unintended.

The fears of the what if I do action a to get effect b but instead of getting intention c you get result w and someone dies kind of fear.

Maybe also a bit of the fear of something being outside of your power to control getting no I the better of you as well?

Like if someone had died for the cause of a lightning light show in the sky I’d have indirectly murdered them and then would have felt guilty. But then getting stuck with the irrational fear of that it could by fear of what if next time it will happen blocking you from risking it.

It’s not the idea of someone dying it’s the idea of causing it without meaning to. I doubt I’d feel bad if the lawsuit lady died because from my point of view she’d deserve it for being a contemptible insurance scammer and greedy c**t.

Wanting a million for being rear emended (because she had no tail lights and I can’t prove it). To my mind the fact she’s trying to take everything we have and then "some and hurt us is what makes the difference (I’d still rather she settled though. She wasn’t even hurt (no ambulance came to the scene or anything).

It’s the unintended part that is hanging me up I think. Fear of getting a result that wasn’t intended or desired.

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Work through the fear.

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Thats probably is why I’m here. To work through it. Why I stumbled on this forum googling for stuff about Luciferian magick and gnosis.

I pulled the trigger on the search engine and got aimed directly at this forum. So I’m guessing it’s to work through and get over the fear and get on with becoming the real real me.

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Maybe create a shadow work/Holy Guardian Demon meeting journal for accountability in doing the work to push through your fears?

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That’s a good idea.

Imo, your actual problem here is GUILT.

You feel a sense of heavy guilt over a potential outcome that could have happened.

In this case, your fear is trying to protect you by deflecting you from doing something that may produce the guilt inducing outcome.

If you fire a rock from a slingshot, and the wind happens to pick up so the stone hits someone’s eye, how responsible are you really?

In the case of a large weather storm, there’s a lot of variables at play and just about anything could happen.

Unless you’re personally controlling every aspect of that storm and say “FUCK YOU IN PARTICULAR” to the person who dies, you’re only indirectly responsible at best.

You’re just a factor in a chain/cascade of unfolding events.

The butterfly who’s wingbeat causes the storm on the other side of the world.

Once you loose that arrow it’s out of your hands. What happens, happens.

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That’s undoubtedly a big factor, and I think one reason I decided to post about it is to get feedback and ideas so I can put the guilt and fear into the grave it belongs in and those 2 emotions definitely need to be laid to rest so I can make progress in ascending.

Especially to get ideas on how to do just that.
To overcome what’s holding me back (which is myself)

I definitely appreciate what your saying and I do agree with it. I definitely need to let go of the guilt over could have’s they never even happened, as well as the worried about what could happens in order to let the magick flow and my ascent to ascend.

Intellectually I know that worries, fears and guilt over stuff that only could hav but didn’t actually happen is ridiculous. I should have dealt with it and laid it to rest long ago. I don’t know why I didn’t.

Now however, I sincerely want to lay that to rest and get on with the best of the rest of my life without holding onto the garbage of the past and I am no longer just trying to pretend the past didn’t happen and am trying to figure out the best way to overcome it and proceed to my future and make it all I want it to be.

Thanks for your input Arachnos

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Excuse me but this Cancer/Sun Pisces/Moon Sag/Rising rules all :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

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