WHY You Can't "Get Her/Him Back"?

I swore I’d never post one of those “holy batfuck, I have THE TRUTH!” posts but actually I just had an insight I HAVE to get down - came about as I was replying to another post, in fact! :smiley:

The reason we maybe can’t do “make the one I love, love me” is because we’ve placed them on such a high fucking pedestal in some ways, such an altar of desire (even if we see their flaws and are angry at those flaws) they they act as a self-limiting mechanism of ourselves and our will.

We want Result X, but this perfect being we’re obsessed with enough to bother in the first place wants Result Z, and that seeps into our magick.

We each hold an internal masculine and feminine (see notes below if you’re not cis-gendered), and when we’re in love, we often admire the most in that person what we both lack and want in ourselves - often, straight men become more macho in that first flush of love, straight women become more conventionally feminine, because we’re busy pinning our own internal “opposite sex” archetype to that other person.

In cases of crossed love, our own internal archetype’s attached to that person, and so half of US is working against us.

Our perfected male/female image of love and what would make our lives complete is crapping on us and dating that other idiot, and as long as we attach so much to them, we’re kinda doomed (I did lost-love magick and got nowhere, happily coupled now but I remember that pain) - they BECOME our Other/God and we then take on board that rejection at a soul-deep level!

There’s a point made by a lot of teacher-types which I think is legit that the perfect bliss and acceptance and elevation we aim for through a sexual partner is a reflection of our seperation from the Source, where no lack can be felt, and all things we do are echoes of a yearning to get back to that.

While that’s the RHP I loathe to tread, it’s a legit theory and to place so much power over our happiness into another person is about more than JUST hormones and the desire to breed.

Also, there’s a bunch of situations in which we’re encouraged to attach a non-consummated but sexual and even romantic desire to a god-icon, for example images of “the Christ” in all his six pack kinky glory on the cross, the Virgin Mary - idealised female, only puts out for beams of light - the Shiva lingam, the idealised bodies of the Egyptian gods, the ideas everywhere across human society that the gods (especially) are these ultimate definitions of perfection.

Which is kinda what we see (at least some of us) when we love someone, because we know they DO have bad traits and pick their noses, but they’re elevated to the extent their very farts are not odorous, but instead amusing and cute.

Okay I’m done but, kick it about, see how it works?

Note: I’m sorry if I’m leaving gay people and non-traditionally gendered persons out, that wasn’t intended nor desired, this is just a brain dump based on only my own experiences, and not meant to be exclusionary, please add your own thoughts anyone with a different perspective. :wink:

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But, didn’t you love and honour and adore the object far more than you felt for those entities and stuff?

See my point? :slight_smile:

Caught in a trap of how we assign perfection (etc) to that eejit who doesn’t want us.

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I think you are on to something. While I do have genuine feelings for the girl I made a pact for… (similar interests, both have the same friends, astrologically compatible, etc)…

I have attached to her way too much perfection. I expected her to be on a pedestal when I should realize she is on my level.

Aside from working on ones own internal magick, I do not really see how love magick, in it self actually CAN work on a specific person.

Yeah, I have NO idea what to do with this, just realised my ideas today…

  1. I’m a jammy person who has a love and 2. I think it needs a working group dissecting it and stuff…

The main question is, how much approval did you assign to your love, even when s/he was the problem?

I tried to rip my then-love’s soul out to make them love me, so I do “get it” so, anyway, this topic needs moar experiences!! :slight_smile:

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Belial won’t make it easy for me, is what he told me. He basically said “your going to go through the fire and if you come out the other side I will give you what you desire”

Also I have been doing a lot of work recently as well. In less than 2 weeks I have gotten my PTSD under control. I also did a powerful bath cleansing yesterday, and I am going to undertake a 7day no negative thought challenge aswell. I have been avoiding her because… I am NOT ready yet.

Thou the readings I got from TWF have been getting closer and closer to my goal.

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How the fuck is it possible to love someone else more than yourself? except that i don’t really see its something you can compare, since how can you have emotions towards yourself anyways since you are not an exterior object to forward your emotions to :Z.

Its quite hard to compare loves because they are different, and what i have this kind of desires towards are more kind of desires to have for MYSELF - which is the person who i love there, and want to give that person desired; but can’t really have feelings for myself because i’m myself myself personally - even if i do indeed kiss the mirrors to tell myself that i love me.

K, once again i sound like a dick - but wasn’t that the point?

You can use love magic to ge someone back, the problem is youbmay not keep them. It really shouldn’t even be called love magic honestly as it is more drawing a person to you and even then it’s not gauranteed to work. Magic takes the path of least resistance, if that person is not open or receptive it makes it a million times harder.

Drawing in new love is easy, reconciliation and reuniting people is a whole dofferent beast to climb on.

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Love type magick (attracting, etc) seems to pose a roadblock to many for likely a variety of reasons more than just the ones we detect. Lady Eva is right that the desire we may have for another becomes a huge confounding factor in the magick. It seems to be a case of the more you want something, the more it flies out of reach. I had a variety of experiments with love magick and I think I can assess them to all be failures.

But, the funny thing about this is I can attract new friends whenever I choose despite being a general loner and easily fitting the notion of a misanthrope. So what is going on here? It can’t be that Beleth whom I field for this is just being lame and doing one thing but not the other. Instead, there is a difference in desire. I forget and do not care for how or whom I may gain friends in. Somehow this translates into timely and we’ll fitting people who appear. How long they may last is an issue separate from the discussion. Whereas with potential loves, the big problem is how even if one succeeds in pushing the ritual and then not caring about the result.

Some time later you will somehow become obsessed with the person again and summon up all kinds if thoughts and feelings. The solution is easier said than done, but it’s possible. To Learn how to not desire the person you desire (note: I am speaking in the sense of love magick, not magick intended to only get sex as opposed to a stable long term bond). And that’s it from me. Time to go forth to get more failures but somehow grow more powerful instead!

Honestly… It took me awhile to get it. But it is impossible. In order to get someone you like you have to not like them at all, I wish I could not care about the girl I like because then maybe I might be able to get her to like me… (lol who are we kidding).

Oh well I suppose the reading tomorrow I will recieve from lady eva will finally nail it in to my subconscious, but one can only hope lol.

[quote=“SinisterShadow, post:9, topic:3746”]Honestly… It took me awhile to get it. But it is impossible. In order to get someone you like you have to not like them at all, I wish I could not care about the girl I like because then maybe I might be able to get her to like me… (lol who are we kidding).

Oh well I suppose the reading tomorrow I will recieve from lady eva will finally nail it in to my subconscious, but one can only hope lol.[/quote]

Except that would make no sense, because why would you want to hex someone to love yourself if you didn’t like them at all, there must be some reason to always do these spells, who the fuck would want to cast a spell on someone they don’t like at all but think is annoying and ugly?

So either i understand liking at all differently than people do, or then there is no reason to do love spells if you could only do it to people you - don’t like - therefore don’t want to come close to you.

[quote=“Black Flame, post:10, topic:3746”][quote=“SinisterShadow, post:9, topic:3746”]Honestly… It took me awhile to get it. But it is impossible. In order to get someone you like you have to not like them at all, I wish I could not care about the girl I like because then maybe I might be able to get her to like me… (lol who are we kidding).

Oh well I suppose the reading tomorrow I will recieve from lady eva will finally nail it in to my subconscious, but one can only hope lol.[/quote]

Except that would make no sense, because why would you want to hex someone to love yourself if you didn’t like them at all, there must be some reason to always do these spells, who the fuck would want to cast a spell on someone they don’t like at all but think is annoying and ugly?

So either i understand liking at all differently than people do, or then there is no reason to do love spells if you could only do it to people you - don’t like - therefore don’t want to come close to you.[/quote]
I am speaking more along the lines of EA law of reversed effort. Where the sooner you are able to forget doing a ritual the more likely it is to happen. What I am speaking about is the fact that it is practically psychologically impossible to not think about a ritual if it is for something or someone that you care for so deeply.

For Fuck sakes I have more spirits willing to work with me to kill her than to help me get her back. I mean shit Belial is not even going to help me easily and Ive been going around tooting his horn across the internet.

[quote=“SinisterShadow, post:11, topic:3746”][quote=“Black Flame, post:10, topic:3746”][quote=“SinisterShadow, post:9, topic:3746”]Honestly… It took me awhile to get it. But it is impossible. In order to get someone you like you have to not like them at all, I wish I could not care about the girl I like because then maybe I might be able to get her to like me… (lol who are we kidding).

Oh well I suppose the reading tomorrow I will recieve from lady eva will finally nail it in to my subconscious, but one can only hope lol.[/quote]

Except that would make no sense, because why would you want to hex someone to love yourself if you didn’t like them at all, there must be some reason to always do these spells, who the fuck would want to cast a spell on someone they don’t like at all but think is annoying and ugly?

So either i understand liking at all differently than people do, or then there is no reason to do love spells if you could only do it to people you - don’t like - therefore don’t want to come close to you.[/quote]
I am speaking more along the lines of EA law of reversed effort. Where the sooner you are able to forget doing a ritual the more likely it is to happen. What I am speaking about is the fact that it is practically psychologically impossible to not think about a ritual if it is for something or someone that you care for so deeply.

For Fuck sakes I have more spirits willing to work with me to kill her than to help me get her back. I mean shit Belial is not even going to help me easily and Ive been going around tooting his horn across the internet.[/quote]

Sounds like the spirits just like killing more ! :smiley:

help me for this black magic for love becos i want to get him back into my life becos he is my life love him so much…

I’m going to repeat something I’ve told others here in PM why I don’t think getting a lover back by majickal means is easy or even possible.
The spirits/powers you work with to try and get him/her back look at it as a roadblock to your ascent.

Black Flame: Belial is probably putting you through the fire while dangling a carrot in front of your nose because he knows once you’ve been cleansed you won’t give a fuck about that person because you’ll realize you’re better and deserve better.

Getting a lover that you’re obssesed with in almost a stalker type of way…that’s like me asking the spirits to help me start scoring heroin again everyday.

Why the fuck would a being concerned about my advancement as a human being and a god do that?

[quote=“Musta_Krackish, post:14, topic:3746”]I’m going to repeat something I’ve told others here in PM why I don’t think getting a lover back by majickal means is easy or even possible.
The spirits/powers you work with to try and get him/her back look at it as a roadblock to your ascent.

Black Flame: Belial is probably putting you through the fire while dangling a carrot in front of your nose because he knows once you’ve been cleansed you won’t give a fuck about that person because you’ll realize you’re better and deserve better.

Getting a lover that you’re obssesed with in almost a stalker type of way…that’s like me asking the spirits to help me start scoring heroin again everyday.

Why the fuck would a being concerned about my advancement as a human being and a god do that?[/quote]
Because thats the reason why I even bothered to do the pact with him in the first place. I am also working with Beleth who has agreed to help me (so long as I do some internal work first).

The reading also shows a lot of positive signs anyways.

And secondly, How can I be a god if I can not even have the power to obtain that which I desire. What would be the whole point of doing magick at all. Belial might put me through the fire but I won’t forget the terms of the pact and I will hold him too it.

So did you make a pact with him just to get the girl or to be better at using majick to get the girl?

What exactly is he teaching you if that was the whole deal?

I’m not being a dick I’m seriously asking.
I’ve never heard of anyone working with Belial let alone make a pact with him for love interests.

What I have noticed since I worked with him and especially after the intense invocation/possession that I did with him is that girls notice me and flirt with me more.
He adds that alpha male vibe or aura to you for sure.

[quote=“Musta_Krackish, post:16, topic:3746”]So did you make a pact with him just to get the girl or to be better at using majick to get the girl?

What exactly is he teaching you if that was the whole deal?

I’m not being a dick I’m seriously asking.
I’ve never heard of anyone working with Belial let alone make a pact with him for love interests.

What I have noticed since I worked with him and especially after the intense invocation/possession that I did with him is that girls notice me and flirt with me more.
He adds that alpha male vibe or aura to you for sure.[/quote]
Basically to make me into the man that could get her. I also did for some court cases that could have ruined my life. And for magick.

I started working with Beleth for more along the lines of getting her to fall in love with me.

I am working with both currently and they have helped me greatly.

[quote=“Musta_Krackish, post:14, topic:3746”]I’m going to repeat something I’ve told others here in PM why I don’t think getting a lover back by majickal means is easy or even possible.
The spirits/powers you work with to try and get him/her back look at it as a roadblock to your ascent.

Black Flame: Belial is probably putting you through the fire while dangling a carrot in front of your nose because he knows once you’ve been cleansed you won’t give a fuck about that person because you’ll realize you’re better and deserve better.

Getting a lover that you’re obssesed with in almost a stalker type of way…that’s like me asking the spirits to help me start scoring heroin again everyday.

Why the fuck would a being concerned about my advancement as a human being and a god do that?[/quote]

I’m not in pact with Belial, i guess you meant SinisterShadow.

And exactly how sinister said, there is no being god in any way if you can’t even get simple but big stuff like this to work - its not too much to ask in my opinion to have attraction of person you choose if you are godlike - After that you can get to even bigger stuff, but imo this is important skill to be able to choose your lover if you want to. Ofc preferably someone who really fits for you - but love is a game at some extent anyways, so i see no problem using witchcraft in it, i see it as almost something you have to do and see happening - when you are in the path of occult.

Don’t they say love is magick, well i can tell you - now it is.

Sorry about that.I misread the quotes.
I meant Sinister.

I understand to an extent but like TWF said.
Getting someone new to become attracted to you is one thing but getting someone to fall in love and then MAINTAIN the relationship is another.

What are your Guy’s plans for once you get the one you want?
I’m just assuming that if you’re going through all the trouble of getting a specific person to love you that you’re going to want a longterm or even life long relationship.

Do you plan on working sorcery on these people forever?

If you haven’t already read it I highly reccomend The Sorcerer’s Secrets by Jason Miller.

There’s a section of the book all about love and lust and he breaks it into 2 desperate categories and has some good advice and majickal techniques to maintain a relationship/marriage.

[quote=“Musta_Krackish, post:19, topic:3746”]Sorry about that.I misread the quotes.
I meant Sinister.

I understand to an extent but like TWF said.
Getting someone new to become attracted to you is one thing but getting someone to fall in love and then MAINTAIN the relationship is another.

What are your Guy’s plans for once you get the one you want?
I’m just assuming that if you’re going through all the trouble of getting a specific person to love you that you’re going to want a longterm or even life long relationship.

Do you plan on working sorcery on these people forever?

If you haven’t already read it I highly reccomend The Sorcerer’s Secrets by Jason Miller.

There’s a section of the book all about love and lust and he breaks it into 2 desperate categories and has some good advice and majickal techniques to maintain a relationship/marriage.[/quote]

2 “desperate” categories :DD? wat.

Anyways, i don’t know if anyone is wanting something life long - and its hard to say do you want it life long, i want my life enchanted by magic, so i can choose what happens and be writing my story instead of relying only on luck and “lets see what happens” Also i see this as i great way to manipulate people - that word probably gets all kinds of bad vibes, but really manipulation is everywhere - it just depends what word we decide to use about it.

People manipulate people somehow everywhere - its not always so horrible as it sounds.