Hi everyone. I just wanted to ask about a personal experience, as I have never found anyone who could help me with this.
As much as I have memories, I remember feeling “energetically thirsty”, and weak.
Since I was very little, my mom noticed it and brought me to medical environments (obviously causing no physical cause behind it), and to more spiritual places, where they told her that I have a very tiny amount of energy capacity, without anyone draining from me.
As I grew up, I naturally developed the ability to drain people, with and without consent. I started doing it, firstly aggresively and without consent, afterwards with consent (but less filling).
I have ended up not draining anything at all from anyone, with or without consent, for years now, and my health is deteriorating a bit (chronic fatigue and pain, without medical explanation after being under observation and investigation for months and months).
I have tried everything you can imagine. Reiki, meditation, chakra working, deities contracts, EVERYTHING, you name it, I have done it. I do not know why I have been born like this (maybe past lives doing black magic for bad purposes?).
The Thirst for energy is killing me literally every day. Y get temporary energy from nature, but it doesn’t last long.
I am NOT asking for donours. I am asking whether any of you have been through this, or whether you know how to make it better. I am completely desperate.
Change the way you feed and the Source. Refine the energy so you do not take in unclean energy. Learn to manipulate the energy so it makes you strong. Be a Master Energy Shifter.
Most people will not like to admit it, but I see people consume everyday. Some more than others. Dont be “fixed” in your energetic manipulation, but rather Adaptive.
I think this is true. As a qigong energy worker, it’s considered normal for people to exchange energy all the time. It’s a give and take, because we all get down sometimes.
In qigong, vampires are though to have damaged energy cultivation systems, so they don’t naturally convert non-ren (non-human) qi from all the sources others can. It can be learned, but it’s harder for them.
A lot of vampires who want to avoid any kind of usury, frequent busy places like malls, live music gigs, or sports stadiums - anywhere there’s a crowd, and siphon off the ‘ambient energy’ of the crowd. It’s kind of wasted anyway and nobody gets accidentally hurt. Personally, I find public speaking to an interested audience is amazing - they fill you up and you don’t even have to try.
The question I have though, is that if it’s caused by some kind of ‘damage’, that implies it can be healed. But I haven’t found any info in the limited qigong sources I have to explain how. Maybe one of these days I’ll work with some vampires and see if I can find out, but most I talked to (this was a years ago on another forum) don’t think it’s possible.
QiGong is a wonderful art for both raising, moving and transforming energy. By raising your sensitivity to the currents around you, you will be in a much better spot regardless of your preferred variety of energy. I spent many years learning externally focused martial arts which eventually led to exploring the internal arts. This then led to me learning about the healing arts. The new found increased sensitivity from the healing training paid off immensely in going next level within my art.
While I generally try to maintain balance, I do tend to lean a bit towards the left hand path. It was this leftward lean which sent me looking further into the darker corners of energy cultivation. That being said, the prior martial and healing training expedited my learning curve, and allowed me the luxury of being able to repair damage to my self and others as I journey along this path.
On a different note, recieving a reiki treatment and becoming attuned to the current are two very distinct experiences.
The later allows for deep personal healing, progressing from physical to emotional/mental to spiritual with each progressive attunement through the various degrees.
It can somewhat expensive to get the training.
But if you look hard enough for a teacher who does not charge a lot, you will find what you seek.
Yes, from my own experiences most of the ones saying they need it are just forcing something they’re not even good at onto themselves because they don’t want to learn how to cope, even the ones that do magic.
However, I have met multiple beings and people who had vampirism and eating as a natural and highly effective part of their toolkit.
In their case, it isn’t a crutch to be relied on but a great tool that brings you leaps and bounds forward.
It could be just your tool kit, in which case the lower energy capacity could be fixed with a little bit of work.
Or it could be something else entirely unrelated. In your case I’m sensing that you’re just outputting more energy than you have, leading to a form of constant “burnout”.
You can output more than most, so to counteract this perhaps simply have sources of energy for yourself to draw from to cope with the output.
Any observation drawn from anything other than directly sensing you is simply an opinion that doesn’t hold much weight.
The Reiki idea may be good for an extra source of energy, although be careful about the exact reiki current you look for, a lot of them are the equivalent of spiritual STD’s. You don’t need to be initiated to it by a mater either, just find the current you want and and work with its intelligence.
The case is that I have been avoiding draining other people for years. After reading a few things in the forum I have decided to drain wherever I want to.
i havent done as much energy work as you, but ive channeled from a few different spirits on it, they all say yes it can be healed, almost anything can be healed.
and on vampyres, ive found that made vampyres dont have this problem and befit a lot more from consuming energy of others, its not a matter of survival for them, the dont need it, ive taken to calling made vampires a “Leech” and born vampyres as “The Incomplete” this is all just personal preference and words ive heard spirits talk about them though.
A big late to reply in this thread now.
It has been more than 8months and I have understood so many things about my situation after working with Lilith, Hecate and Naamah.
My post was not confusing, was desperate, and I just needed some light to accept what and why I am what I am.