[quote="-TWF-, post:1, topic:1421"]I’m not sure how many here have been through this yet but to those who have how do you guys/gals deal with magickal crisis?
The Black sun exercise has left me questioning everything, I mean everything. It’s left me in a state where I’m questioning just about every aspect of life and existence in general. I’m finding it more and more difficult to carry on normal daily life when I see so much fallacy in almost every conceivable concept and idea. I feel surrounded and smothered by the weight of stupidity and at the same time feel liberated by the knowledge that its all fake and meaningless. I am not me, there is no “I” or “Me” but I haven’t a clue who I am and not sure that it even matters. I feel the burnout coming but I don’t know if its the magick or the mundane that I’m burned out from.
My third eye while not fully developed (I can’t see energy or spirits with my eyes open) but the astral bugs and other critters are more frequent, as well as seeing people, and objects that aren’t there. My closed eye vision is much more graphic and active in the last couple weeks and its getting to the point to where I hesitate to open my eyes for fear that the images will still be there. This is as exciting as it is scary and I’m encouraged to progress but its kicking my ass along the way. I feel like I have a ton of information available to me but am unable to formulate it into coherent thoughts or make a plan of action.
I’ve spoken with someone who’s been through these kinds of things but would like to hear what you guys have to say or think.[/quote]
I do have something to relate on the eye opening thing, A couple nights ago after having had touch attacks constantly for a week (probably due the rite of Lilith a month prior), I was practicing the eightfold breath laying down on the floor with my eyes closed. I did this breath technique for the first time about 14 or 15 times and slowly opened my eyes, and looking over to a corner of the wall, saw shadows dancing around like flames.
Now what was odd about this, was that I was perpendicular to how I was laying down during the rite of Lilith, so those shadows would have been above my head if I was laying in the same spot. It indicated to me that I was meant to see them.
Second, there was no reason for the dancing shadows. No light coming in to bounce off anything, no wind outside. Silent outside and silent in the room as well as the house.
Third, the next day I performed the Qabalistic cross, the LBRP and the Rosy Cross a couple times. All activity stopped. I at the time wouldn’t have seen the shadows as it was still light inside and outside. Last night I did not see the shadows.
Fourth, I hadn’t been sleep deprived the night I saw the shadows, only the next couple days after.
Sleep deprivation that I am accustomed to and the eightfold breath had very different effects as far as an altered state of consciousness.
I did the eightfold breath far more than necessary for the first time.
Was I startled at the shadows? Yes, bit not to the point of wetting my pants or turning on an overhead light. However, the rituals were meant to drive away parasites, not because of fear of the experience.
The touch attacks were present during the eightfold breath but I concentrated solely on the breath.
What was the technique?
Get comfortable but not too comfortable. If you are not a caffiene junkie like me, lying down is probably a worse technique than sitting upright.
Close your eyes and let thoughts subside a bit.
Hold eight seconds.
Slowly breathe in eight seconds, preferably more on lungs than stomach.
Hold breath for eight seconds.
Slowly breath out for eight seconds.
I think it’s recommended 8-10 times. I did it for 14-15 times.
Just my experience, I have never seen anything like that before, which indicates to me I stirred something inside my head. Or who knows, maybe it was all in my head. Nonetheless, I consider it an experience.