My use of psychedelics and personal pursuit to ascent has lead me to ego death. This is something that can’t be described by words but I came to an understanding of what it is to be one with the universal consciousness and to be the creator of all things within my universe. If you’ve been there, you’ll know what I mean because it was a trip. I took comfort in the idea that everything had it’s purpose and it will continue to serve it’s purpose for everyone whether or not I chose to manipulate it for my personal needs. The idea that I could change the course of this, out of ego, was a beautiful thing to explore. I felt that we are all connected by ?The God Current? and we as Gods and Goddesses could create something truly beautiful in this world and in the worlds beyond the flesh. All I can say is this was the most content I’ve ever felt in my whole entire life.
I became aware to the fact that I was very limited in my mindset because all I needed to do was let go of everything in order to find inner peace and transcendence. I knew for a fact that I couldn’t move forward in my path if I didn’t do this and it was in this that I could truly embrace myself as a creature of spirit, not of the flesh. Letting go of the physical world was the most joy I’ve ever felt because I truly felt alive and liberated for the first time in my life.
Although I took joy in the idea of creating, I felt that this wasn’t what I wanted to do. In my Qliphothic studies I never fully understood what it meant to choose to reside within the womb of Kali or Lilith. I think this experience explained it to me. In this experience I found that being liberated, transcending the flesh and embracing myself as a creature of spirit was a moment of wholeness for me. This wholeness manifested itself as ecstasy and happiness. The feeling of being content with myself is what I truly took pleasure in during this experience and I would give anything to experience this for eternity. The idea of letting go of everything and choosing to step back and dwell within the womb of Kali or Lilith brings this joy to me.
After I experienced this the physical world as I know it is seen by me in a different light, it feels secondary. I feel timeless and everything around me has lost it’s meaning or purpose to me. I know I have to work and take care of the daily tasks in order to maintain a suitable life for my wife and I but all I truly want is to just be. I feel like I’ve learned a lot from this experience but I don’t know how to truly embrace it in day to day life in a productive way. All I know is it’s just a matter of moving forward for now.