I have stared long and hard at the abyss from time to time…not from magic, but from other situations that come knocking.
Despair and the dense downward spiral comes when the soul itself needs change in order not to die. Yes, a soul can be extinguished. But in those fork in the road moments, a soul might capitulate to the physical death instead as a reset button.
All you must do is force a change. A change.
Years ago, I went to a grocery store with a black eye and bruises on my arms. I was twenty pounds underweight from malnourishment and sheer fear and stress. I was pregnant. Not one person could look me in the eye. I knew nobody but me would save my life.
I went home, packed a small bag and my purse. But I didnt make it. I was beaten, kicked, bludgeoned with a metal bar, strangled and the intent was to burn me alive. I was asked, “how would you like to die?”
Well…Id been thinking about it, actually.
My change that night was to fight back. It ended in a high speed chase on a dark highway.
My stupid gift of killing electronics during high emotions killed my alternator. I outran him though…and to a backroad I parked and got out. I was limping and cramping. The sky opened with thunder and bolts of lightening. I walked for hours, knocking on doors and nobody answered. The next day, I was at the hospital. PTSD, fingerprints on my neck and arms for a solid month. My ankle tendon was scraped nearly off the bone.
You dont give up. EVER.
Make. A. Change.
I remembered who I was after that night. I took my power back.
When insanity knocks…tell that bitch to get off your doorstep and take several seats.