Yeah… I’ll do. You too, see you tomorrow.
pretends he didn’t stole a joke form BoJack Horseman
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I wish I could dance with you, clothing on or off, I won’t peek either. I just want out
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you can still get outside and dance. ya don’t have to be with anyone to feel the heartbeat of your own soul. but dancing nekkid is damn fun though.
i will more than likely be dancing in my own home the next full moon. you can join me in “spirit”. mmmmmmmmmmm. i just got an idea.
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no matter how much i try, i cannot escape my past. nor my companionships of the insanity of my brain. it never shuts up.
i started this journey on my own. i will finish it on my own. until it’s finished. until i see no more.
to them i was nothing. to myself i was nothing. just a body. just a corpse. and this is call hatered of your soul - this is the blackness. right now, the heart has to come out. i don’t fucking care - i cannot do this kindness thing.
but i have to. i don’t like the person i see in the mirror. and people i work with do not understand the restoration of my soul. “i am fine!” this is what i say in polite company.
in front of myself, i don’t look in the mirror.
i am not hell. i am not heaven. and i am certainly not anywhere close to being… yet, i can see straight into the core of my heart. and right now, i fucking hate her.
she’s on empty. and she needs water. she needs her mother. she needs her family. she needs to go back to the sea. she needs life…
she needs her child, that mother nature abruptly aborted at 23. she needs to yell. she needs…
she just needs water. she needs people. she needs…i cannot say the word.
she needs love and that isn’t going to happen. because whores like me are simple headed bitches who cannot think for themselves.
this is what man has done to me. why i hate. even though the bridges are burnt and I found peace in doing so - i think for myself. i am by myself.
i hate what i have become. i just want my family. i miss my mom. she was the only person who understood me.
i think i can be silent now. for how ever long it takes.
i still need to summon Freya.
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You remind me so much of someone.
Anyway, I hope the nights ends better, with some peace for the mind.
By the way, the angel Metatron is said to be able to “heal the past”. Just a note, in case you find it useful.
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Hopefully it was not a triggering for any bad memories. If it was, I am sorry.
But I don’t know of anyone I would remind you of. I am curious as to whom; however, afraid to ask. Plus, I don’t know anyone like me!
My Mom is still very much alive and so is my Dad. I was missing my family - that is all.
Things just get blown out of proportion during the night, I think. And I’ll be fine. But self-hatered is an awfully quiet and lonely road. I really miss the ocean. But, haha, maybe I’ll bribe singy-song man to take me boating this weekend.
hahaha. Maybe I’ll corrupt him! 
With my awful flirting skills.
Have a good week!
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Don’t worry, no harm done.
Anyway, feel free to PM if you want to talk about this, I think you can PM now.
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I’m interested. Yet, not sure how to send a message. LOOOOOOL!
I probably remind you of Olaf, 'cause I’m just that flakey. haha.
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Learning to zip my lips.
Tried writing. Couldn’t. Tried meditation. Mind went straight to message from others. Should eat fruit. Nope, ate three cookies.
Tried to read about Freya; instead found myself staring at the wall this morning. And then got the impression I needed to work with Odin and Freya.
What’s next? I go down the rabbit hole. Ehhhh.
Just keep my lips zipped. And just wonder about elephants. The ancestors went dead silent. Although not being punished, sometimes it’s just best to remain unseen.
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seriously! i have no idea what any one wants.
numbers 333
numbers 777
dragon? hippo? elephants?
spirit of myself: stop fighting this.
me: i will fight it. because that’s what i have to do.
spirit of myself: you better tell him.
TELL HIM WHAT? he’s a friggin’ dragon?
i know that he knows that i know. you don’t go marching up to someone on the battlefield you knew from three centuries ago. “hi, remember me, i am your dead wife.”
no. no. no. just no!
spirit of myself: then leave it alone.
me: alright, i will clean my kitchen.
ancestors: will she ever learn?
inside: learn what?
them: to let down the gates and go through them.
me: go through them?
ancestors: the dragon gates.
me: the what? y’all trippin’.
the heartbeat came.
her: you need to tell him.
me: i cannot.
I love that song of Madonna, and “Yearning”, the Arabian dance song, is also great
oh! that’s pretty, thank you for sharing that with me. i found the version by rual ferrando, is this the correct one?
i found two videos i liked.
the steamy version. 
and the one that makes me want to get back into shape. 
thank you soooooooooo much for sharing. i really do appreciate it. 
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while i realize i have spent a lot of time researching the information i have needed - i think it is a good idea to sit the rest of the week out.
as in, writing down plans for my life. i am stuck in limbo between my needs and my wants. the days are becoming longer. the nights shorter.
to my highest self i had to be honest: i am going to let him go.
the ancestors gave a sigh: okay. we’re going to respect your choices on this one. we get it.
sometimes you stand on your own until you find exactly what you need - the power to resist temptation.
thankfully my gym is open where i am at, all sexual frustration can be let out by pumping iron. i am no longer interested in a revolving door - i just want one.
enough writing. enough questions. enough being open. it’s witchy time. you’ll hear me cackling before you see me. burn me and i will come out as your worst nightmare.
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And there is more
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Invoke often and enflamme thyself with prayer
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thank you, i didn’t think of this.
i hope you have a great weekend. 
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Random Thought 568,768
Stupidity is as stupidity does.
I guess I’m stupid.
Pretty is. As pretty does!
hehe!
