Today is one of those days that i think about magick and think whats the point. Why do I keep doing it? I always feel like I’m trying to prove some point. And I don’t even know what that point is, I really shouldnt have anything to prove. So why I do I feel that way?
Its like I can never just let it go. But what is this IT?
Is it my big fat ego? Or my suppressed childhood horrors? Or is it me still trying to prove to my parents that I’m in not the devil I was made to be?
Although I am a devil for sure. Just not the one my step dad would have people believe.
So WTF am I doing? And why? Whats my motivation? Why do I hang on? Why not just let it go?
Maybe its my mood, today. Maybe its the weather, maybe its the planets … Idk.