[quote=“bahamuthat, post:4, topic:7686”]the main problem with the occultists is they have a feeling of being so special, like they’ve grabbed god by the balls.
i mean being normal.
it’s happening to me, of course. i see how smart and special i am and full of magickal knowledge… and when i try to convey it to someone who’s interested, then i start saying shit like
oooooo you would not understand this
ou but i have yeeeears of experience
but im amigos with the gods
which only makes the gap between ourselves and the true reality even bigger.
and how it goes together is revealed on the way. there is no true understanding inside dayside consciousness. so we might as well blast away all our most hidden secrets, because, frankly, no one cares.
no really. no one cares these days.
if it helps to someone on the forum, then more power to both of you. if it goes unnoticed, then it’s because no one cares for you opinion. and that’s just how it is. and i think it’s a good thing.
you know, in my deepest visions, i recieved knowledge so sacred that even I had to cover myself in front of those words my hands wrote.
the truth i uncovered was so deep and so paradoxical, liberating and daunting that i put it on a most special place and said firmly
you will not touch this! no one will know about this. this is the absolute of the absolute, the secret of secrets.
then, some months go by and i get a book by Donald Tyson, and he basicaly writes this in the first part of the book just like that. here you are.
the other example is that the documentary cartoon Spirit Science also lays out some stuff which i found by myself and decided that they are most secret and profound.
so the thing about secrets is our own twisted ego-work upon ourselves.
one more phenomenon i noticed is that
(and this is the best)
i have a secret, i don’t tell anyone about it. i forget it. someone appears in my life who needs help, i am about to tell them the occult secret - my inner voice says NO NO DON’T SAY IT - and i say it still.
and what happens? actually what happens is that i remember my own secret and start using it in greater measure, which then leads me to a greater level of ascension.
we are all brought up to start from the scarcity. even if you’re born with the silver spoon in your mouth, still, you’re sorrounded with people who complain about lacking.
so, we see there’s a form of greed existing even in the mental levels of knowledge.
and in what i see, greed of that kind only leads to constipation.
i mean, if you’re the kind of a fat banker type who smokes his cigars, has an expensive suit and shits on the other people, ok, that’s your thing, i guess.
but my thing here is the truth. and i see that my body, my mind and everything that comprises this being which is i, is infected with greed and hosts of invisible diseases which come in a material life starter package.
if you have planty of food, and i am hungry, you give me. you are normal. if you keep it all to yourself, you’re a fucking bastard. that’s what i think in my head then. AMARITE?
if you’re holding something to yourself, surely, the Spirit is not Free.[/quote]
This is part of the Magick, is ones ability to induce and maintain a Trance State. There may actually be certain special ties where the Trance State is needed in order to hook up with ones own natural abilities, or “magickal agendas.” This is where Fiction and Non-Fiction blend in Magick and is a very fine line. It is both an Art and a Science weaving the two togethor so you have to know what you are doing. I can understand your frustration, but there is legitimacy in it.