I want to post something, but what to post?
As I’ve said before, in my introduction to this forum, I was a part of magic forums before.
They did not go very well. Part of the problem was that they were mostly wiccan based so they didn’t jive to well with the things I was talking about. Another part of the problem was that I was young and fairly cocky in what I wrote, because it was something I knew about and had spent a good part of my life on it. But there was still much I had to learn. I am a bit fearful of repeating the same mistakes so I am taking this inch by inch.
But what to post.
I guess I will start out with the first time I ever conducted a ritual.
It was the initial circle casting/ self initiation in Konstantinos’ Nocturnal Witchcraft.
I don’t know how people here feel about his works but I’ve heard E.A. Reference him a couple of times in his videos, so I feel I’m in a good place for it.
It was intense. It was the first time I had felt that much energy coursing through my entire being.
It literally felt that I had the entire universe at my fingertips and could shift it however I wanted.
I even glanced at myself in the mirror at one point and could swear that the colored parts of my eyes had turned and orange-yellow. I’ve tried to pass it off as being the light from the candles but other times that I’ve glanced in a mirror by candle light, it wasn’t the same effect, so I don’t know.
But that’s not the most fascinating event.
I was performing the casting on my bed that had curtains hanging around it and at one point during this whole thing I glanced to my right at an opening in the curtains. There, peeking in, was something. I can’t really describe it too well because I could only see it by the candle light. It had a reptilian fish kind of head. That’s all I could really make out. And the light from the candle was reflecting off and outlined its scales.
I was not sensing any danger from it nor did it rise any fear in me. It’s almost as if it was just interested in what I was doing. It was there for a good second and then “swam” off. I use swam in “” because that was the motion it made when it moved away.
My reaction was more of an “ok. So that happened”. And then I was back to what I was doing.
I don’t know who or what it was. Nor have I seen it since. At least, not that I’m conscious of.
To be honest, I have never been able to conduct a ritual of that magnitude of power since then either.
I have gotten little signals or ques after rituals to let me know that I was heard and that my wishes were going to be carried out.
That first event was roughly 10 years ago.
And its been over 6 years since I’ve conducted the circle casting. Events have prevented me from being able to do so. I’ve been able to perform variations of it but nothing as grand.
I’ve even thought that my experiences with “black magic” had run its course and that it was time for me to venture out to other things.
But now, I’ve felt a “pull”. I guess you could say a calling back.
I stumbled on a video that was talking about the “Joy of Satan” website and I downloaded some interesting documents from there. In the process, one of E.A.'s adds for his youtube page popped up in a video I was watching.
I don’t believe in coincidence.
The question form me now is, where do I go from here.
I can’t yet afford any of his books and I’ve been scrapping together what I can from his videos, which only confirm things that I’ve already pieced together from the information that I’ve been gathering since I was first introduced to magic almost 21 years ago.
My wife isn’t really into this kind of stuff but she knows that I am.
She’s not against it though, but I don’t feel comfortable letting her know what I do.
I think this is part of the issue of why I haven’t done anything lately.
sorry. this was pretty lengthy LOL