As shallow as it sounds, I’d rather be well liked than feared. In my experience, when people are afraid of you, they’ll take action against you. But if people like you, they’ll take action for you. They’ll protect you, care about you, and over all willingly do good things for you. I’ve noticed when people are popular enough, they actually seem to get away with tons of shit.
The left path has taught me that people are motivated by self interest. Even if most people are afraid of you, the one who isn’t can rally others against you. So, if you want to get people to do anything, they need to agree with you.
I come from the perspective of someone used to being called weird while seeing the well liked people.
Emotions do that. Can you think of a love you have for anybody that isn’t conditional and motivated by self-interest? Is there someone you just love because they are a human being?
To quote myself, because I love saying smart stuff and then quoting it in relevant discussions.
"Be loved by your allies, respected by peers, and feared by your enemies".
That is the rule of thumb I work with, some people will not love or respect you no matter what you try to do, so it is better to just making sure that they know that there will be consequences if they ever cross you.
This is politics, and I am a fan of politics, being a man of royal inclinations, but so many politicians today are people that should serve rather than be served.
I respect all of you as my peers, and I ask in exchange that you respect me, and that is how we can coexist.
Building your image on fear is just edgy and dumb.
Everything you do is motivated by self-interest, and yet, people can feel love.
It is just power play, and if you are aware of it, then you can form much more healthy bonds.
Love for all will get you eaten alive, and fear for all will get you killed.
It’s not about fear or love… it’s about why-when and how you use them. Sometimes fear is the best to use with some people, for specific purposes. Other times, love is the best for different people or even the same people for different goals.
People hate to hear that because it makes them think more, and most people do their best not to think and just put labels on things… love for all or fear for all. Life doesn’t work that way. That would work great in comic books or religious stories, movie or children’s books. Not in real life, if you want to get the best from it.
You’re right, people are always motivated by self interest. That’s natural and should be expected. Anything else is a lie or fantasy.
But not all of them react the same way to the same motivations or emotions. We’re not robots. Each person is different. Sometimes a group of people may have similar reaction if you push the right buttons… but in general, we are all different individuals. When dealing with people, it’s important to remember that and use the right emotional motives with the right personalities that would give the reaction we need. That’s how I see it.
The legendary Spanish conquistador Hernando Núñez de Valvida (La Serpiente Negra) wrote, in his diary entry of April 20, 1521 (a day he allegedly slaughtered two hundred Aztecs), “La gloria es un millón ojos asustados,” roughly translated as, “Glory is a million frightened eyes.”
The people saying being loved trumps being feared often have no experience with the latter, IMO.
