I’m not sure what’s happening to me since severing all beliefs with the common god and my Hindu religion. I never felt an acceptance and one day it suddenly hit me that Satan was my true god.
As I performed my initiation to satanism, it took several months to shake off some of the anxiety that popular horror movies depicted about Satan, the devil and demons.
I’m now fully comfortable with these entities and see Lord Satan/Lucifer as THE true god. I say his enn as much as I can whenever I get the time. I’m unable to freely practice the new religion due to family reasons so no alter or paraphernalia and evocations only when nobody is home or very late at night.
But, things haven’t worked out much better, I’ve been blighted with bad luck, ill health and no real long lasting results from my requests of help.
I started a new job over a year and what should have been an exciting new career I’m finding it a real challenge and difficulty in focusing and progressing further. I’ve lost motivation and now hate the job but, the money is great. It seems to me that I’m a salve to the job because the money is good and no other jobs are coming my way.
Duke Sallos seems to have abandoned me and I’m not getting any results from him much.
My health is going downhill, I’m full of injury so unable to enjoy gym anymore. I’ve gained weight and have several illnesses that just don’t get better. Anything good that happens soon turns bad.
I’ve suffered from bad depression for a long time but it’s just gotten quite bad for over a year now. I’m full of low esteem, feel gloomy, unhappy and things just keep going wrong for me.
I thought I was being tested but now I’m really at the end of my tether!!!
I don’t know but it’s seem that there’s a barrier or force that seems to be holding me back (as there’s always been throughout my life). I’m stuck with nothing getting better.
I really don’t know what I should do. I’ve asked Lord Satan for forgiveness if I’ve done wrong and I’m a newbie and still learning.
I recently replied to a post and said it’s like I’m on a roundabout ride, everyone’s off the ride is doing great. I’m stuck going round and round and round… that sums up how my life is😞
Question: Did you feel it was “necessary” to sever all ties to the Hindu god(desse)s? Kali, Shiva, Sundari, Pavarti, Ganesh, Shakti - all have their practice, as does Lucifer. As much as Hekate and Lilith are manifested in Luciferian practice, I see no reason to not experience Shiva as a Universal force or power as well in ritual and/or practice while experiencing interpersonal growth through Infernal Fire on the Qliphothic Tree.
To be quite honest, being Hindu myself I know very little about the gods/goddess.
I was thought to be good otherwise the gods will punish you - really? Well turned out they punished me regardless. Kali and Shiva were the epitome of evil and I should never acknowledge them. That’s how I was brought up.
I found Christianity was a better religion and had been drawn to it though I never practiced it fully and, that Jesus and the Virgin Mary would treat me better and with love but never happened.
I’ve had a rebellious streak in me since childhood and did (regretfully) steal small amounts of money and shoplift because we were hard up, not an excuse I know but that’s the way it was. Maybe the folk I stole mine from (now deceased) are giving my a hard time? So Hindu believe would go!
I have had surprisingly different experiences with Kali/Shiva/Shakti, but it is a shame to hear of your experiences. I sincerely hope your new direction takes to better, and more healing, experiences with your Theurgy.
I’m full of low esteem, feel gloomy, unhappy and things just keep going wrong for me.
I thought I was being tested but now I’m really at the end of my tether!!!
If something does not want to change, you have to find its source. Youre got tested in your whole lifetime anyway, and in several ways. But sometimes it isn’t enough just drifting with the flow and adapting, bearing your situation. Yes, these are sometimes doesn’t enough.
You have to overcome, and control your life, yourself, and the main block is inside you. Yes, possibly this is not what you wanted to read, but sometimes people who use magick, practicing does not want to know about these kind of things, because they’re want to put their focus something bigger. But please, how do you want to fly into the Space if your ship is wrecked? You can’t. It’s pretty simple.
I really don’t know what I should do. I’ve asked Lord Satan for forgiveness if I’ve done wrong and I’m a newbie and still learning.
I did not think that you should ask forgiveness from Him because you are a beginner. Everyone have to start somewhere. It is not a shame when you start with on the basic, believe me. Exactly, it is a must-have step.
Lucifer is a good choice if you have to on your emotion, as well. He is a versatile Prince, and in my opinion, you can ask His help, if you feel yourself lost.
The idea being a true Luciferian , is to believe in self sufficiency, autonomy, disciple and not to worship. Lucifer does not want you to beg for forgiveness or drop to your knees… He wants you to stand tall and realise that your life is bullshit and needs changing in many ways… That goes for all that first find him really, including myself all those years ago…
Lucifer can and will take out what is not working for you in your life like a huge Tsunami wave. I went through loss of nearly every kind when I first went to him as my life was fake.
I lost all fake friends, career, lots of things that held me stuck for so long like a slave. It was hard, but I came out better, stronger and truer in every way.
The difference with Lucifer is getting out of the worship mentality which organised religions drum into us that we need to be sorry and repent. New set of rules with Lucifer!!
It sounds like you are unhappy in a few areas in your life, change them! Use Lucifer as a beacon of light for those changes and free yourself.
Try reading the Satanic rules and see it is all about self empowerment and building up your power.
Try a 3am evocation of Lucifer with a petition of what you want to change in your life and be ready for it.
