What next? Advice wanted

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I’m lost right now as to where to go with my magickal journey. Frankly, I feel like I reached the end of a journey and now I’m questioning where to go from here.

For the past two years I’ve been working on escaping mental suffering and reaching enlightenment. I’ve done countless evocations, invocations, spells, initiations, pacts, introspection, you name it to achieve what I have wanted: A life free from mental pain, sadness, weakness, and being a victim. I fully believed I have achieved what I was after.

Now I am at a loss where to go from here. I want to pursue higher levels of consciousness and existence with the goal of achieving better and longer-lasting states of ecstasy. However, I believe that if I want to reach those higher states of consciousness and feelings then I would have to seek out new experiences wherein I believe I could find that. But in order to create these certain desires an immense amount of change would have to happen in my reality.

I am willing to put as much dedication and discipline into working towards a desire of mine. I just can’t help thinking that there has to be a more efficient way. And this is where magick comes in. I think for most of us practitioners noticeable change is caused in our lives when we do rituals or spells to create the change we want. But for desires that require a rediculous amount of change in reality, the effectiveness of our magick seems to dwindle. Take for example a spell to cause a promotional change where you work to go from a low-level supervisor to a top corporate position. Realistically, it would highly unlikely manifest. Additionally, if it did, how much of the work was done in the physical by the person working his ass off to become promoted to that position vs. reality merely obeying your will because you did a spell.

I’m starting to rethink my idea of what “becoming a living god” really means. Does it really mean you’re going to be able to simply will whatever you want into reality by doing a spell or ritual? Or it does mean becoming such a master of operating within the laws and rules of this reality to get what you want just because you have an elaborate god-like understanding of how to work to get it?

The question must be asked what really is the point of all of this? Does pathworking with these spirits mean the goal is to become a God so you can merely will what you want into reality or is it just them trying to teach you that you are 100% responsible for how your life turns out and you need to learn extreme discipline if you want to achieve your desires? Because frankly if I do a spell or a ritual to manifest these extreme desires of mine into reality, time after time they fail. But when I do a ritual or spell to help me mentally change my perspective so I am more able to focus and stay disciplined on my desires they always work. I always will end up more mentally disciplined and stronger after these rituals but I never really get what I want in life. Yes, it’s nice to not get bored or suffer when working your ass off, but I never really seem to make any major progress in life towards what I truly want no matter how hard I work.

Bad luck? Are demons trying to teach me something? If they are, what are they trying to teach? To learn how to not mentally feel pain? To stay more disciplined? I excel in these every day more and more. I’m at a loss. If magick truly can change your reality to what you want it to be, then where can I be taught these great secrets, because apparently, they are nowhere to be found? I don’t want to have to always operate within the rules of this reality, I want to become my own creator and break them. Is that such a bad or impossible thing?

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For me, neither. I take this to be the natural result of what can be called enlightenment, also called ascending. This is the result first raising kundalini, and then doing that so many times you develop siddhis and eventually convert your being to a lightbody that you choose to manifest physically, if you want to.

I don’t think I understand this. Is this not a continuation of the same work? What needs to change in physical reality, do you want to spend more time in the state on no being but your job is in the way or you still have to sleep and eat?

If you are already doing soul travel, work of developing doing this out of time maybe? I have heard tales of the enlightened being able to spend much longer in state, but only a few moments pass while their body appears to sleep. That sounds like a useful siddhi. If you have met any ascended masters on your astrl travels I hear they can teach this. Robert Bruce is one of the few westerners who speaks of the experience and abilities you have when kundalini is raised.

There is a story told by Drunvalo Melchizedek, of a group of student monks earning from a teacher, who told them, “meditate 1 hour every day to reach this level of enlightenment; it will take about 10 years”.
One student asked: “If I work hard and meditate 2 hours every day, how long will it take?”
The teacher replied: “Hmn, 20 years.”

The point is, you can’t rush your body’s development. You can only go so fast, and if you try to push it, like a bodybuilder in the gym you will only give yourself an injury that sets you back,plus, tension black energy, you have to stay relaxed. It’s better to meditate diligently and carefully, and let your body adapt as you go.

You will start to develop psychic skills but don’t let them distract you, just keep going, no matter what, and you will get there.

Using magick as a black magician has not so much to do with enlightenment, and is more about understanding how manifestation and energy flow one to the other, It seems reasonable to me that the goal you put more energy into works out more to your will. This also leverages the adage: “change yourself to change your world”. If you could cultivate energy to put it into the other goals in a less physical way, they would manifest as well, but it sounds like that’s not happening.

After that we’d have to look at each spell one by one to get more specific than that. It’s not just the energy of you you have to consider but the energy of those involved, with and against. I doubt there’s a one size fits all answer to this.

This is going to sound trite, but this is always answered with “they are within you”. Basically you connect to source, or great spirit or god within, which is ascension, and you become a living god, and then reality is bendable. But there’s deliberate blocks against this for left hand path work, because such a person could destroy the world and yet they walk the Earth now and do no harm. No enlightened one, aka shining one or lord, is a president, or a pope. It’s a different attitude.

In fact the times they tried to teach only got them deified, they wanted to teach all humans to be enlightened, and instead they were worshipped, like the Jesuses, the Thoths, the Hermes of which there were many, and they’re all worshipped as gods now. But they were, imo, all men, humans, that became enlightened.

The mystery school that dis preserve the teachings were heavily attacked by those who wanted power, which you can’t have over a race of enlightened humans. But the keys still exist, and it mostly boils down to meditation in a specific way to develop your light body and astral skills and energetic strength. It’s got nothing to do with material world things, so there are no spells to “manifest a mansion”.

So you can take the magician’s road, and also develop your psychic skills and strength, and use that to become a mage manifesting a decent life and material desires. In my opinion, no matter how rick this makes you you are not a god. A god is the mystic who has resurrected while alive and can manifest food, is immortal and ever young, heals the sick with a hug and even the rain avoids him.

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I can only speak from my experience, and from my experience, there is always a reason. Whenever reality seems to block me, it is for my greatest benefit because that is what I have decided that magick should do for me, and if I look back over time I can see how things resolved in my favor even if I can’t see that immediately.

I would say that one of the great challenges of becoming a living god is to eliminate the natural human tendencies which fight against godlike being. Humans are born unaware and unskilled in meditation and magickal arts. There is no greater power in the world than magick, I would say, but natural human tendencies can interfere with the workings of magick. The natural human mind is unrefined, dull, and relatively extremely ineffective. This is partly what makes me want to summon spirits, to ask that my mind becomes like their mind.

I would consider trying less. If you do nothing then nothing will happen, but if it feels like an immensely unsurmountable, unnatural, or just fucking annoying task, there’s probably little point in bothering as magick tends to manifest things very easily when your own resistances and blockages are removed from the equation.

In magick, I ask for what I want, but mostly I focus on strengthening myself and asking for things which are broad enough to allow for the possibilities, but precise enough to actually do something. There is often little point in asking for overly specific manifestations as that just sets yourself up for failure by the interference of the ungodlike parts of yourself. I instead give up hope for any such manifestation and take solace in the knowledge of statistical probabilities.

I would say that’s because working hard is the ignorant’s substitute for acting with wisdom. With wisdom, pretty much nothing is hard because it’s either achievable or it isn’t, for where you are now or at all. The pleasure of the challenge is one of life’s great gifts, but struggling through a bog of arbitrary and self-imposed simply unsurmountable difficulty is not. “Hard work” is most often arbitrary grinding that the ignorant try to impose on others to make them suffer as they suffer in their own plodding ignorance.

It has been said that seeking wisdom before results makes results more likely. If you want wealth, one approach is to consistently summon wealth energy, and then allow that energy to manifest changes that take you on a path of expansion of that energy by continuing to bring that energy into your reality, which then causes that energy to do what it naturally does. If you fundamentally do not accept that money magick works, that’s your problem, or you are doing weak money magick. If you want to attain a high position in a power hierarchy, then it’s a matter of understanding how that path goes and working with wisdom within that path, which you make known to the demons that this is your desire.

You already aren’t, so I don’t know what all the fuss is about. You are here, though, and unless it is possible through some magickal development or another, there’s only so much that magick can or perhaps will do. Rather than being irritated at magick, it’s better to acknowledge the reality of magick and accept that the ungodlike parts of your being are at fault because that is a productive mindset that leads to growth, results, and reduction of suffering, whereas wallowing in despair does not, however “unfair” your life may or may not be.

My life’s been extremely unfair, and I have much cause for hatred, but I choose to be grateful to magick because magick has made the “seemingly impossible” possible for me and enabled my greatest desires, over time and in accordance with my ability to receive and accept that reality. Without magick, I know I wouldn’t have ended up like some in a similar position to mine, a weak miserable pathetic wreck with a shit life, shit relationships, and a shit self (the worst of all these outcomes), but there is no doubt in my mind that there have been essential moments in which my decisions were guided by magick, and moments in which magick caused things to happen that would otherwise have been beyond my control.

Circumstances, people, I have seen magick control them all, and magick has taught me how to control these as well. My enemies feed me power and all else gives me the pleasures I want in this world, so long as the ungodlike part of myself is destroyed, bit by bit, and more every day I am more unlike these banal, mundane humans which surround me, breathing the same air, appearing similar in many ways, but the difference in consciousness between me and them is perhaps greater than the difference in consciousness between them and a dog.

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