Dear Ultra Mega Chicken,
I couldn’t resist sharing my story on this thread. Sinata, very cool post lady! You’ve got to figure out the chalk moving technique and share!!
Like Sinata, I have a different approach to the occult. I didn’t get into this because I wanted power. I became an occultist after everything else failed to explain the power I possessed and the experiences I was having.
I was living at my grandparents home in Irving Texas. I was 33, and found myself living at their house rebuilding my recently ruined life. Now my grandparents house is no ordinary house, as they are not ordinary people. It’s a porthole to a spiritual realm. My grandfather is an active Mason, and my grandmother is a practicing Pentecostal. They have decorated their house with enough “religious symbols” to teach an occult 101 class. On top of that the alignment of doorways, and mirrors in their hallway makes it an easy jump point for any astral adventures.
Leading up to this story were many nights of astral projection. Conversations with my grandfather in the spirit. Endlessly staring at the mirror while observing my body lying on the bed. The three of us remember very vividly the night I hovered over my grandparents bed, out of body! Yeah, it was really like that just about every damn night of the week!
So the story goes:
I was laying in bed partially out of body. I had been experiencing clairaudience in the form of live music just as I was entering theta trance. This time I heard country. Solo acoustic guitar, country. I fucking hated country music at this time! I was like what the hell! Turn off this damn music!! Then it got louder and I heard the lyrics “better not leave your body unattended, or we will take it away”. Huh, woah, wtf? I felt pure uncontrollable fear at this point. Coming out of sleep paralysis I rolled over to find little old man dressed in white sitting on my window seal. Holding and strumming an old acoustic guitar, wearing a cowboy hat and shining with moon light was a little old wizard. I asked him if he would go away and stop playing that shitty music.
He said, “No! I will not go away or be quite until you listen to what I have to say. Do not leave your body unattended, or unprotected lest something greater than you take it while you’re away. Go buy a quartz in the morning and keep it with you at all times. Also keep this symbol to protect your self.” He showed me a star, formed from one line. A pentagram, though it wasn’t facing up, nor was it facing down. It was colored silver with indigo and violet sparks around it. He spoke with me about other subjects, though I do not remember them at this time. As he faded away in light and I rolled back over to sleep, I heard a woman’s voice confirm to me to buy a quartz and tattoo a pentagram on my body. She also told me to speak with spirits by projecting near lakes and in graveyards.
So much happened that night. In an instant I transformed. No longer was I willing to accept manufactured explanations over the out of body experience. Science, philosophy and religion had failed to sufficiently explain these mysteries to me. I was living as an agnostic and happy in my atheistic-rational mindset. I had not taken magick or spirituality very seriously for a long time. What use were spirits, ghosts and fairies. Nonsense! I thought that shit was for whack jobs, and dumb asses. People without a rational mind or critical thinking skills. I had no time for eternity or things of the spirit in my neatly rationalized life. Just money, liqour, sex and music. But that night changed me. Even more than the countless nights of astral projection and lucid dreaming. It was that experience that caused me to pursue magick, to explain what the fuck was going on around me. I wanted to know the identity of these beings. I wanted to know what could take my body. I wanted to know why I needed a fucking quartz crystal and a pentagram tattoo! And most of all I wanted to know why in the Fuck I was seeing spirits like they were real live people! Jesus titty-fucking Christ am I a paranoid-schizophrenic?
From that day on I have been on a quest that I now refer to as waking up the god within myself. I started at the local pagan shop, hearing tales of make-believe, coincidence and utter bullshit. Talking to know nothings, and reading the most irrational books I’ve ever come across. Half the time I felt dumber for having read those new age books, the other half was me piecing together fragments of truth and reconciling them with my ongoing experience. I had one false teacher tell me “nothing in the spirit world can harm you, they just want to teach you, and enlighten you.” It’s all love, fairy dust, and estrogen! Grrrr…bullshit…Bullshit…BULLSHIT…and more Bullshit… Finally after a year of questing I heard an interview with EA Koetting. He was working on BOA and the BALG website. He was the very first “occultist” that made any sense at all. It’s been a year and a half since I first heard him speak, and I think that transformation has been pretty well documented here in the forum. Thanks for indulging me with a place to share my story!