What has led you to the lhp

[duskwalker]

I came to witch craft in general because I was born with an innate knowing that what i was being taught in bible school was largely hokum. I even deadpan told a priest that his god was a liar as a kid and got my ass beat at home as a result. From that point on I prayed to the Lord Apollo and his sister Artemis every time I was forced into church. He protected me from their siphons and Artemis/Diana/Hecate always led me to safety.

I got older and was sexually assaulted at 14, as I’ve said in another post on this forum. I went home and cried myself to nothing in the shower. And then at that point forward… I remembered what I had I forgotten I had always known - I was a witch and a great spell worker. The moon aligned perfectly with my window as a kid and I say on the floor with objects and quartz crystals and lit a white candle and prayed hard to whatever god what hear me that this man deserved to be punished. From that point on, I swore never to be a victim again.

But in general, I follow my own path and the gods and demons or angels that present themselves have always been amicable and helpful. Generally speaking though I guess I’ve sort of deviated into more of an LHP vibration but I really don’t care for such terms.

[duskwalker]

I hope your path has provided peace, @Antony .

[SeekerOfTheTruth]

i dont belong to neither the LHP nor RHP… i dont really care for titles like that…
While to this day i’ve practiced more angel magick than demon magick, and while mostly of that angel magick was for healing (self and others) freeing, protecting and alchemy… some of that angel magick was also to harm and destroy… Also, the demonic can also be used to heal and free others. So… LH, RH… idc
I can learn any type of magick and if it fits my needs and or wants… i can try it…
NOW… i started practicing magick after a process of awakening after like 15 years of depression and suicidal thought. I was born and raised a catholic, converted, became a born again evangelical christian… Lost my faith, became an atheist… i dont remember anymore what exactly triggered me trying anything magickal… but it was probably the very last thing i gave a shot before probably ending my life… i remember i started to try learn about the LBRP (took 2 days to proper learn that) and started to listen to mantras and meditate… that was probably my last attempt at “seeking” for the divine… if that didnt work i probably wouldnt be here right now… I had so much christian indoctrination that i really had to hit like the very bottom… i still had probably ONE relative that cared some for me… everybody/thing else i ever loved or left me or died a horrible death… i had no friends, i had no money a barely had any family… i was really ready to end my life so… why not? If i was gonna kill myself and probably go to hell anyway (catholic belief)… why not just try this magick thing?? Well…
…
…
…
…it worked.

[mrk]

What in particular relating to magick worked ? It seems I am currently in that position feel like I have lost everything

[SeekerOfTheTruth]

daily practice…
if you do have depression… find a few mantras on youtube that truly touch your soul. I recommend Shiva, Vishnu and Ganesh mantras. Really like really let it flow through you. feel it, let merge with it while you chant it… Ask Lord Shiva and Lord Ganesh to destroy the sadness inside of you… ask Lord Vishnu to heal you inside and protect you.
LBRP, daily (at least at the beginning). After a couple of days doing LBRP start doing the Middle Pillar also. (if you dont know what those are just look on youtube).
Breathing exercises, mediation… maybe Qigong after a little while.
Book wise, you can get Angels of Alchemy, Magickal Protection, Magickal Angels… in fact you can get pretty much all of Damon Brand’s (or Gallery Of Magick) books… they’re very beginner friendly.
After some point you’ll feel a need to try new things… do so. Be wise… read a lot… try new things…

[SeekerOfTheTruth]

orrr… if you’re really desperate and you dont care if some disruption occur… there’s a ritual on the
book called Practical Jinn Magick by Corwin Hargrove named ‘To Renew Life Through Transformation’ that might worth a check… i haven’t tried it so i cant attest to it myself but some other members of the forum seen to have had good results with it,

[NailOH]

Abuse ?

[Sanguine]

I feel like I mostly walk down the middle and I veer to the left and to the right, depending on my goals.

I am totally new to LHP-type Magick. I was raised in a Catholic household. My mother was physically and mentally abusive, threatening our lives, striking us, etc. I remember praying to God or Jesus to help my mom “be normal.” It never happened, my childhood was marred by terror and fear. I went to Catholic school and I struggled with believing in God and I felt out of place for it, but I prayed to God and Jesus anyway. A lot of other stuff happened in my childhood, too, but I don’t want to bore anyone!

I spent my late teens and early 20s in and out psychiatric facilities for crushing depression/suicide attempts and really didn’t feel relief. I still don’t.

After I had my son, I had postpartum depression and some well meaning family member sent me that Footprints in the Sand thing in a frame. I remember hitting it with a hammer and throwing it out. I thought it was so fucking tone deaf and patronizing.

Last summer, I’d reached a point where I thought, “Fuck you. Where the fuck were you at the lowest ebbs in my life? You don’t deserve what you demand in a devotee.” I wasn’t praying for anything material. I was praying to him to help take away my emotional pain from trauma. I am no longer paying obeisance to some fucker who not only refuses to help me out of a hole, but actively keeps me in one, despite going to therapy and taking responsibility for my own mental health. I felt better for letting it go.

I just recently started working with Goetic demons and I feel a slight turning of the wheels in a better direction and I am starting to feel positive about my life.

I just want to point out that I do have wonderful things in my life and I am grateful for them. I have a kind and patient husband whom I love with all of my heart. I have a son who I’d go to any lengths to protect and materially, I want for nothing. I just feel so scarred and damaged, I feel like I exist, rather than live.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I will be able to emerge from this hole. <3

[BladeOfWoe]

I just stumbled in and it’s snowballed from there, lol.