What do you do after you become cynical?

I know the standard answer to this is to stop focusing on yourself and focus on other people and volunteer help them, but it just gets me walked on and burned because I don’t put out enough and people expect me to enslave myself to them, and I don’t even get as a cool title so I can at least have a false sense of control.

I don’t really fit in anywhere and I don’t know what to do about it.


First you have to explore the desire to fit in and why it is essential to you. Second you should make a list and compare the benefits of being on your own vs social groups. Third observe if you just want to belong to push away your troubles that were brought forth through introspection and use groups as a means to say:" well I am not that bad compared to XYZ".


I wanted to fit in to get access to better jobs. It didn’t work for me and I got smacked with the other side of the double bind and I am told that I didn’t be myself enough. Now I am having a hard time doing anything at all now.

Thats a motive, but you cannot fake authenticity especially if you deal with female bosses. Its quite normal to be depressed after a setback but do not let yourself hang. Stand up warrior and seize opportunity, and if you do not seem to fit in anywhere try to be a freelancer/self employed. Best of luck!

I tried that a bunch of times, Covid destroyed my last gig (at least I have an essential job to hold on to, but I’m not going to go anywhere in it). I am going to need far more than luck to be able to compete on the Internet globally after getting my ass smacked by setback after setback in meat space. The amount of effort seems insurmountable especially when I don’t know where I am going because I don’t belong anywhere.

Did you try to reprogram your subconscious? It appears to me, from what you have written, that your subconscious programming is working against you.

I have been trying to get my subconscious programming straight for a couple decades now.

I had to look up on google how “cynical” is been translated in English, because it doesn’t make sense what been cynical has to do with focusing on yourself.
…Totally not what originally “cynical” means.

P.S. The above answer is cynical.


Re-translate it or give me a better word to use in place of the one I used.

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Oh I’m not gonna reshape the English language, and I didn’t meant to offend anyone, it was just weird. If that’s what it means for English speakers then so be it :joy:

The original meaning for cynical is “the person who expresses (unpleasantly) and with absolute straightforwardness and sincerity, without courtesy or decency.” aka being frank.
Cynicism as a philosophical movement despised all social conventions and advocated the return of man to nature in a life of absolute restraint and austerity.

As for the word I would probably used, would be (maybe) egocentric?
But I don’t see anything bad on that, on the contrary.


Rather than trying to fit in, why not develop your self in your own way and set yourself up to be an individual example for others to emulate?


I don’t understand how to do that, and I am not sure I even understand what you mean.

Exactly, it’s what leaders do. That’s why I don’t find it a bad thing.


Life is so much easier when you stop seeking others approval and trying to fit in…


I got that now. I am buying all into existentialism instead of just 80% like before. I still need to extract resources from the environment. Is that suite of tactics called manipulation :cloud_with_lightning:?

It has been a week and I still haven’t figured it out. I have been reading and watching so many things too. I even activated my MBTI Si Demon function and using my hatred of scammers to push on, but I still don’t understand what I need to do.

frick just realized thats not relevant to this specific post

At least you made an attempt.

What was the thing you said before @Maxwell, about making myself dead inside? Maybe it can reduce the pain, or at the very least externalize it so I don’t feel it so much.

I am going to try giving up hope because scammers depend on you buying hope instead of products and services.

I am sorry that you are having a rough go at what seems to be life. I have no special answers for you as to how to approach your hardships. You have received some legit wisdom from a couple people here so far. I will say and end with this. Learn to love yourself as the perfect being and creator that you are. Believe in that.