What do you desire most? Let's analyze it

Let’s analyze the desire, the mind, and what has been done. I converse with Azazel daily now and am reminded to pay attention. So tell me what do you desire most?

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Hm…I think…to be left the fuck alone?

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Health. To be powerful enough to not depend on anyone and help and defend those in need.

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I don’t have a most desired thing lol.

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But you are socializing now, is that what you really want?

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What steps are you taking to accomplish this?

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Then you have no immediate need for anything

One thing? Honestly, to use what limited time I have to acquire all the knowledge I can through experience. I could argue that I desire money, property away from others, power through learning from spirits, etc but in the end, it all boils down to experiencing life and learning from it.

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What steps are you taking to accomplish this then?

There is a sad contradistinction between what I WANT and what I am supposed to do, if that makes just any sense. I like silence, the absence of mind and interaction. But for whatever funny reason I always end up in predicaments where interaction and socialising leads to comforting side effects, such as professional success which equals that I can rest my ass in a comfy home instead of working three jobs at once to make ends meet. And sadly I am also part artist, which means that this part relies on reflection and reaction.
Am I a clown?
Nope, I am the whole fucking circus :heart:

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I just want a safe a healthy pregnancy.

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I want to rest. I deeply desire it.

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Are the comforting side effects as important then compared to your true desires? I understand the comfort, but it always leaves us believing we can never receive what we truly want.

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I want to gauge a response, are you expecting complications?

Sounds easily accomplished, what’s the issue then?

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For now I am only meditating and trying to learn more things, and eventually find my real self

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Yes and no.
But isn’t that grande? Never being able to receive what we truly want so something keeps us going and kicking? I think thats part of the monkey brains motivation, at least for me.

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You have so much to learn and live, tiny racoon.

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I desire to find out what my biggest desire is.

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What if I told you to start small and find one act of kindness you can do for someone once a week?

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