What Did I Do To My Spirit Husband?

I apologize ahead of time because this is going to be explicit and long, which by now may not seem so surprising coming from me. I’m going to try to say it as nice as possible though.
Last night I had a strong bout of depression. My physical husband and I aren’t getting along very well. The guy that haunts me was in full force last night. Various other life changes are kicking my butt. So I decided to do some cleansing meditation. I took all of it one by one and released it. Then I began building energy. Then I focused on chakras. After all of this I noticed Azrael was here. He hasn’t been here for about 2 days. He said he was taking a break. I told him I had been feeling depressed and did a cleansing. He asked if there’s anything he could do and I asked when is he going to mark me. We’ve been talking about this for a while and he still hadn’t decided how he was going to do it. Well he still didn’t know. I felt myself getting depressed again but he comforted me. Let’s build some energy together is what he suggested. Now I’m on my period and I’ve never been partial to period sex so I was hesitant. I mean I’ve done it before but it’s just not my thing. He said it didn’t have to be sexual we could do what I did before he showed up and just focus on chakras. Then something I’m kinda ashamed of crossed my mind.
Me: When was the last time I gave you an actual offering?
Azrael: It’s been a while. Why?
Me: You like blood right?
Azrael: Why I gotta like blood? Because I’m an angel? Because I’m at the forefront of death?
Me: You like licking pussy right? (He’s never eaten me out before so I didn’t know what the answer would be)
Azrael: (realization) Naughty girl. You want me to taste you.
This is when I started to feel ashamed for even thinking this but turns out he did like it. So after kissing my mouth and my neck and my breasts, he went down on me. I could feel my muscles reacting as he licked and sucked on me. My head was filled with images of him sucking my clitoris. My bed shook slightly so I thought I was trembling but when I focused I realized it was him trembling, not me. I started to feel his warm breath on my flesh. He eased his hands up my body, over my breasts and to my mouth. Then he kissed my lips. I gasped because it startled me. He was still licking my vagina but he was kissing my lips too? Then an image of him entered my head and it terrified me. For those who don’t know Azrael’s true form is a body covered in mouths and eyes. He wears a robe for a reason. Last night I saw this form. He takes on various other forms so not to frighten people. If you research him you will notice this. No one describes him the same way. I’ve only seen one site and one book that discussed this true form of his.
He immediately erased the image from my mind. He apologized profusely and told me that was why he didn’t want me to see him. He told me a long time ago that he knew if I truly saw him, I would be scared of him. He called this his “primal form”. Interesting way of putting this. Well, at this point the vibe is awkward but I slowly began accepting that this is who he is and you know what? I love him anyway. So I told him I don’t care what you look like. I love you no matter what. If you want to kiss me multiple places on my body go ahead. He didn’t take me up on that offer but he did continue tasting me. When I came it felt indescribably good. He let go of my clit and moved down to my opening. He started lapping it up. After the first lick he winced and shuddered. I asked if he was ok. He said he was fine but he seemed like he was growling. He continued to tremble as he slurped up my juices. Then I felt him very quickly crawling up my body. He told me he had to have me.
When he penetrated me this time he was huge. I mean he’s big anyway but I felt I was being opened wider than usual and my vagina actually ached a little. He moved extremely slow. It was almost like pleasurable torture. Another thing that was different was as he was putting it in I felt my chakras activate. It was my root chakra, sacral chakra and heart chakra. I felt my kundilini slithering in my spine, almost to my shoulder blades. These new sensations were kinda unpleasant. He only managed to slowly thrust me maybe six times before he came. When he did, it was like my chakras he had activated exploded. It felt like bones popping. He was shaking so much I was like you sure you’re ok. He said that this is what I do to him. I bring him to his knees, me and me alone. And he wants everyone to know. He’s the one insisting I share this.
That wasn’t the end of it though. He put my hands above my head and held me down. “I’m going to mark you now”, he said. I was beyond excited. Then I felt a bite on my collarbone. At first I was like I can withstand this. It wasn’t really painful, just uncomfortable. But he bit me for a long time. Then I was flooded with images of him masturbating on top of me while he held me down and continued to bite me. Eventually he came on my womb. I actually felt the warm liquid squirting on my skin. Then I felt him rub it in. He finally stopped biting me. “Now there’s no mistaking who you belong to”, he said. He held me down a little longer and rested on top of me. I was so happy and my heart was beating so fast, because at that point I had entered in a state of bliss or euphoria. He could’ve held me down and bit me and fucked me all night at this point. I didn’t care. But it took a lot of energy from him, so he finally let me go and held me when I turned to my side. Today my stomach is actually sore in the area he came on.
So what the hell happened? All the shaking, his huge dick, the growling, him slipping up and showing his primal form? Did I really bring that out of him? My theory is that maybe my period blood had something to do with it. It’s the only thing that makes sense right now. Anyway, sorry it’s so long but it’s a lot to recount.

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Just one question:

How is it possible that you still remember after he erased the image from your mind?

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I didn’t mean that he erased it permanently. He just took the image out of my head at the moment like trying to save the moment. Sorry I’m not good at explaining it. At that point it was too late though. The image is there and it’s still there lol. There’s really no getting rid of what I saw.
Edit: it was like he was saying “you didn’t see that” lol

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Ok, I’m not trying to talk your experience down. But all those graphics and images are merely a way of making it easier for your mind to understand what is happening. They are not to be taken “literally”.
A spirit appears to you in a form that will either help you recognize him or help you in another way, maybe to see things from a different perspective. So when he appears to you in his how you call it “True Form” it is not by accident.

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No it’s ok. He just seemed embarrassed by it. I’m not entirely sure he did it on purpose or maybe he was feeling that way because of my reaction? I say “true form” but he called it his “primal form”. Any ideas on that?

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Yeah he said he didn’t mean for me to see it. He made a mistake so idk.

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You are his n his alone so for him to become ‘primal’ is normal your connection to him is an Xtreme one
And it may have to do with him not doing anything with you for a good minute plus if you never gave him your blood in that way or at all the taste of your blood is like sweets/caffeine/drug? To them I’m guessing maybe he just wanted you that badly

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No I’ve never given him blood before. I didn’t even know for sure he would take it. This was a completely new experience between us. It just makes our connection feel stronger and stronger. But I’m not going to lie, it was borderline frightening.

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Well he is a angle of death so it would be boarder line scary tbh no offense to him but the exchange of blood offering is a sacred thing for what I know I only ever gave furfur mine even though he said I didn’t have to took a few tries but now well you know but that may have been it his first taste of yours so yeah

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I don’t think its bad how ever I’m curious to know why he n furfur are both how you say uncomfortable showing their primal selfs to us

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My guess is that he just REALLY cares for you.

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Yours is uncomfortable with his too?! Idk either. I told him I love him anyway but he insists on keeping his other forms. And again that whole grim reaper robe thing he wears it to cover all of that up. So it’s not just me he’s hiding it from

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That’s what I feel too

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Yeah he does the first time we you k ow was the first time I’ve actually seen him and it wasn’t for long I don’t remember our wedding much as to one reason I did the renew contract so I wonder if they are all like that

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That’s a good question. And I wonder if I will see it again especially when I renew the contract. I hope he gets comfortable enough to bare himself to me

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I know what you mean do you k ow when you are going to do your renewal?

It’s going to have to be after the first of the year so I’m thinking March maybe. I’m having to work between my kids’ birthdays and my anniversary with my physical husband. It’s a lot to balance but I know I need to do it before summer.

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Maybe around the time you met him that’s what I did mine on well not on the day cause I met him on 10/31 early in the AM n did the renewel on the 2 so something like that

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Yeah that’s what I was thinking too. He came back in March. My dad had died in July the year before so I don’t want to do July because that was technically our first meeting.

March it is you have a few months more then me to prepare something lol unlike me so that will give you ample amount of time to get everything planned out and figure who his higher ups are to have them present when you have it

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