What Did I Do? (And how can I do it again?)

Hey everyone,
About 3 years ago, I was in a fairly rough spot in my life…no job, no car, Im sure you all know a similar story. At the same time I was right at the cusp of “waking up” and discovering a whole new world of spirituality that I had only glimpsed before.
One night, I was reading about the Law of One, learning how the microcosm IS the macrocosm and reverse. Afterwards, still frustrated with my surroundings, I packed a bowl and went outside to look at the moon. (I dont remember what phase it was in).

I remember taking a big hit, looking at the face of the moon and thinking, “Well, if I am God, and God is me, then theres no good reason that I have to suffer, there is no reason my desires cannot be within my reach. I am sick and tired of my life being affected by the whims of others.”

I pondered this a little more, and though that I should test out my new revelation, so I decided I wanted a car. Now, if God and I were one, then I could have any car I wanted, so I decided on a black BMW. I thought on it more and decided I didnt want friends asking a lot of questions, so I decided this car should be a bit of a “fixer-upper”.

So, I took an enormous hit off my pipe, and as I held the smoke deep in my lungs, I stared at the moon and visualized my new car rolling up my driveway, complete with a dented fender and scratched clearcoat. I focused on this, the moon, and raising my energy to such a point that I was almost convulsing. I blew out the smoke with the thought of it carrying my intention with it, and went to bed.

THE VERY NEXT MORNING, my girlfriend at the time called me up and said her friend’s daughter was selling her car, and that she thought I would want to look at it. I told her to come over, and sure enough, here comes a mid 90’s black bimmer rolling up my driveway, complete with dented fender and all. I didnt have the money though, so I told her to give me a few days to think. A few days later, a friend of mine living across the country called me up, said he had forgotten my birthday and a few favors I had done for him, and that he had sent me a present in the mail. Sure enough, a fairly fat check arrived, and 2 days later I had my car, which has served me well in many magical workings and pursuits. The license plate even ends in “666”!

Great story, right? Well that’s where I get confused. Since then Ive been able to use the technique I used to acquire money, resources and situations, but my success rate in using it is probably less than 30%, and the results usually take a week or more, and are close, but never exactly what I intended. How did I get it so right the first time?

I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I CAN do this…hell the car sitting in my garage right now is proof. So I dont believe I have to work on my belief patterns. Ive since completely learned the Silva method, which has helped a little, but still doesnt get results like I got with the car. Ive been combing these forums, and reading E.A.'s stuff, looking for little tidbits, but havnt found much, and Ive been practicing the New Avatar Power rituals as well.

Every system Ive read about and tried DOES work, just not to the degree that Im looking for. Ive had a taste of instant manifestation/gratifcation, and I want more! I dont want to settle for less.

Ive tried recreating the circumstances as best I can, with the moon, weed and everything, but I just cant seem to do it again with the sheer flawlessness of before. Im really hoping it wasnt one of those “right time, right place” workings.

So…any ideas? What the hell did I do?

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You’re honing in on the wrong “objective” data for starters. It was your “state” that was right, not the apparent conditions. The moon, the weed, those were coincidence. The mental state you were in - the god-state - that’s what you did right. That’s what the ritual practice is for, to teach you to get into that state repeatedly, where you shape the universe as needed.

30% success rate is plenty good to keep your work up. So keep practicing.

As RC put it the state… (as in not just “thoughts-state” but Mind even Body-Energy-state… and that Else…) What I’ve come to figure, although some of what it means is still not clear to me- been chewing it as it conflicts so much of what is written and in our modern-Cult-ure…

(although that makes-sense to me, as if what Works was so well known… then all would be in their Dreams… every one knows that “lefty-loosey, righty-tightey” hur and that if you look to what is termed “east” you’ll see sunrise (in the “morning”) only useful to match to a map… but anyway- just two concepts that “everyone knows” … if you try to loosen a screw or whatever and you have to twist it the “other-way” one wonders what is different than usual… if not… then question that principle… if the principle is useful… all who do get?) Thus in that regard- all the Everyone knows- in terms of focus on your goals… massive actions, get out there and (hmm how much of that like " get out there" could mean “get out of here” as in someone listening to one complaining… focus on the positive, go away and not complain- even bury errors if you need to… nose to the grind-stone, early to bed, early to rise… makes… (good thoughts to teach workers?) so that’s just in relation how much in modern subculture, let alone the mainstream isn’t Contrarian… and follow the crowd isn’t doing the clearly wrong, but then again many more Buy High, Sell Low than the reverse…
ok end sidebar- digression/ framing:

TheLotusEater wrote:
<<Great story, right? Well that’s where I get confused. Since then Ive been able to use the technique>>
And that is perfect as what I’ve found is the elements of such Events (whether a major Segment change, or more-minor course-correction) have a story-like element to them, and that seems to be the twist.

The state can be revealed (this may not relate to your instance, so not wanting to sound like I’m imposing my interp on your, nor that this clearly is, but what I’ve found) in sensing “if” just prior to, and during, as well as in the while after ward… there is a sense of things all lead up to that point like an “arc” almost as if a Plot line developing to a dramatic shift in a direction… that direction in general, but the specifics and the dramatic-aspects of that shift could have a more “improvising-type” feel (thus if there was a play… each character, general story- here to there… certain events… who would X character react to Y and Z. especially in regards to Events occurred and in that kind of Event- changed by it… else improvised/dis-covered “played-out”)

** Thus two aspects (or three)…

First being one on a road-way in life path led up to and built certain affects… if those changes happen gradually sensed as just time passing (things change, etc.) if those changes are compressed they seem like a big month, or busy week, or intense day… if changes aren’t compressed but more of a pop, then are like that “seismic-shift” you felt (?) Event expressed as if did (perhaps aspects of were needed, others more co-inciding as RC wrote… the difference I’d say (sounds so close, but distinct) is the issue of what the State is… being a more expansive you… sense of emPowerment is different from a “god state”… which are both different from what can be sensed in the first type moment which is more like sensing not just the script element but the Author(ity) [the Storyteller- many say that’s the same… perhaps… but many stories/ books could have many characters in them… many of those characters believe in powerful beings, perhaps even God to them… powerful beings in those Stories at times… even some stories written with God as a character… but those stories written with even God as a character are characters- all “written”/told by the Writer… the storyteller who isn’t in the Story… (even if there was a JK Rowling in one of the Harry Potter Bks… wouldn’t be her? I don’t think there is- so if any of the Harry Potter Characters- vs the Actors- mention a JK Rowling, their concept of her outside of their world… vs their world being all “imaginary” in JK Rowling’s telling (and now input into “quite a few” readers… Imaginary/NotReal to a listener/reader of story… but the chars in story very Real

  Only when a listener (perhaps the Storyteller) associates with character(s) so that they blend (author and readers may learn from but aren't changed by- one doesn't become into the story and Unreal, but the Character thereby changes.. becomes a bit realizing Events are more than.. becomes a _bit_ more Real?) - can reVeal a bit of this current (waves and winds in this tao, TpS refers as Aeon-Word fields, Memetic Magick ref as realms of Possibility within Control walls, Bubble Realms containing GameTerms)       *ok too much*

** so first is sensing that flow overall, perhaps after, perhaps during…

**second is feeling a change in that flow as a result of that sensing/blending (first being more something a part of the story- second could be alterate path of story… as a result of the “Character wouldn’t do that… but instead…” etc.)

**and third being something else… part of most people’s story is sensing that something just happened to change the path, just as many characters at some point in their “journey” make a choice

-Bilbo was being persuaded to join the AdVenture… and then decided whether or not… he thought… yet clearly Mr. Tolkien wrote what he (Bilbo, and all the others) did and “thought”… even if there were draft versions or changes to the story… the one we read … the ending and middle of the story doesn’t change for us “readers” during our reading (not to imply that you mean its all written? in ex Author and char…

if a reader of Gandalf’s story, or “OUR” story read ie Watched… they see (to influence and interact with us… they’d need to enter our story… thus my comment- twisted and bent- above about our cultural understandings of things that sound like… but different).

so one thought could just be- that was in one’s story (not so useful- but if that isn’t just “madeup” words of mine, then would imply is story-ness so that isn’t the end, as would mean that was in one’s story and therefore one’s interpret[-reaction to that is a twist in the story… ) but the Improvise aspect… and put it this way what can Gandalf the character (in any of Mr T’s works) what can the character think-intend-energize… effort in-order-to Become Mr. T (ie can the character, again char in quotes, in JRR’s story become the storyteller JRR? to affect the story, let alone enter into affect Other Story(s) of JRR or non-story life of… as even a non-stop writer does much else than write… to become the author…?) one view would say if the story seemed to imply such, that was just how JRR T wrote Gandalf (sort of Nissargadatta and U G Krishnamurti combined- not Secret, LoA, nor CoM(iracles)… but could be seen, or not, in these)

its not re-alizing or jumping to that state of mind… its the story developing in such a way that the character expands such that the Author can express via- without the character “breaking” (ie not Breaking-Character as they say some method actors do… clearly an Actor knows things character doesn’t- how story will go, let alone “outside” the stage/studio is different… Would character change things if they Realized what the Actor Knows- KNEW before the Play “Julius Ceasar” by the playwright even started? (whether Ceasar, or Brutus…)

 just like in Chess any piece can be placed anywhere- even though "You can't do that move." may be said.. the implication is "within the rules".. in the same way Author may self-limit  ABC wouldn't make sense in this story so they say "I couldn't have That happen."  but they could...  just like."and suddenly the char- did"  --- N appeared.. whatever.. but would a reader of story be like what? story just jumped?  --- thus development, not required, as at any point, stuff is just what is being Told.. 

(ie not need-to develop skills else Cant DO __, more than Can DO __ once that is put into the Story, and if the story will only go there per… story line, via “skill devel”? just as in the Chess example- a pawn can too move to any sq, not in rules, but I “player” pick up and place it “there”)

so issue is new level of capability (able to do all the time now), able to do now and then… vs happens only once (I made big decision and things clicked into place…) per that being a story-element (hang a lantern on it? maybe). or just something that happened (it seemed like one made the decision and magical act, while the Magical act was actually something you were driven to do by the same current that brought the following, and the prior: ie did car come from Moon-event, or did car, your prior car-lacking sit, the Moon-event and even one’s inspiration to not only go out to the Moon (with bowl)… and even the thought to make a change… all from some other cause (a result of that working… was the magical cause what one does, what one is aware of, or Else?)

This is actually my divergent response to EA’s recent newsletter (Law of Certainty) not diverging as disagree, but rather context frame… I see more of what he previously implied with “reversed effort” as being Exert and then Forget, let-go to delegation… now changed a bit… but I see above is a bit distinct (yet meshes, just the question on development)

I sense this become far long, I’m tempted to not post, or chop off a piece (I’d edit down- but so many divergent aspects of misunderstanding require mention- and still the end result seems a mess, yah get what ya pay 4 :slight_smile:

   if any read this and aren't sent off on a different tangent, perhaps might develop Working upon this.. [if any tangent off this, perhaps that helps their interp development.]   

Luck in your Workings

ps ref the Booth at the End series (end of Season 1 Request… “That can happen.”

One thing I think you hit on Lotus Eater was when you mentioned feeling that you were on the “Cusp” of waking up. I’ve found that state to be especially potent. When on the verge of a breakthrough you aren’t quite sure of the power your about to tap into, the only certainty is that the power is available and yours for the taking. My personal experience with this has always had potent results that left me much in the same state your in now. It also left me questioning many things reality and my sanity as the primary two. Good luck and may you find what you seek.

I think the strong desire to make change was also a factor here. I’ve seen plenty of times in my life where I NEEDED something to happen and it was the only option I was willing to accept and it happened almost instantly after the ritual but when it’s a whim or something that I’m not really that hell bent on it usually takes longer or my success rate drops. I’m not saying you had a burning desire for that car. It seems more like you had a burning desire to see your potential godhood in action. The law of certainty as EA put it so eloquently less than a day ago sounds like it applies here. Your strong certainty of your desire to see change manifesting before you in the form of a car superpowered this seemingly simple ritual and the certain release of that desire made it happen. If you want to see it again find that thing that makes you burn inside just thinking about it and do a ritual for that.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

Venture onto the astral and weave your magic on it. Manifest what you want there. Transform what you see, create objects out of nothing, brings beings into ‘materialisation’, battle beasts from all the nine hells, raise worlds from the abyss, and plunge them into ruin and the darkness from which they rose. Act as God there, for you will find that you are He. Why should you? Because it is so easy there to become familiar with the ‘feel’ for that state which let’s you act as God, being that your living imagination creates instantaneously in that world. It will become second nature. There you don’t have to wait for weeks or months just to find that you didn’t quite get it right. If you can’t bring it to be there as you imagine it, you will know instantly, and can adjust to it until you hit that ‘sweet spot’. Then bring everything you have learned there back into your ritual practices on this plane. It’s like the magical equivalent of a flight simulator, only much closer to the ‘real thing’.

Well, that would be the missing puzzle piece, methinks. Its kinda funny, and also frustrating. I guess at some point, I figured that I had the god realization once, so there was no more need to focus on it. Of course, I “fell asleep” again and started searching for all sorts of rituals, meditations and techniques to get me back there, and all along, the answer was ME!
This would explain why, in almost every evocation Ive done, if I ask for help in acquiring, I never get told “no”, but I do get chuckled at and asked “why would you have me help when you can do this yourself?”. Azazel especially seemed to focus on this, and even gave me “homework”, which I can now see was designed just to get me back to this spot.

I meditated on this for some time last night, and got a very clear, very audible message, which I believe was my higher self. It said,

“No matter what, always remember and be aware that you are a part of god, and god is a part of you. Every piece of a hologram contains a full replication of the whole. There is no need to look to outside sources for assistance when you contain everything that has been, ever will be, and every potential. There is no need to feel powerless or intimidated in the presence of others, for within you is all the power one could ever need or imagine.
You have this illusion of being swept about in a chaotic ocean, being mercilessly tossed about by the waves and wind, but you dont see that you and the ocean are one. When this is fully realized, you can make the ocean as calm as you want, or as wild…or you could even make it cease to be an ocean at all.
There are many paths, many schools and methods of magic, but without this single truth occupying the mind, none of it can be used to its full potential.
There is no harm in learning systems of magic, but you must remember that they are only tools. A carpenter’s toolbox does not create a table FOR him. He is the one who imagines, visualizes, and starts to create. The tools are only there to refine the vision, and speed along the process. The irony? The carpenter created the tools!
Always remember that YOU are all you need”

So, does anyone know of any good “godhood” meditations, or rituals that I could use to keep myself in this state of for longer periods of time? Im working on astral projection, but its very hard for me to remember my journeys.