I was wearing my pentacle at work, and at least 5 people thought I was Jewish.
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They apparently canāt tell a pentagram from a hexagram 
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I was at work and a customer asked what I was doing after work and I said āreading a book at home.ā He asks what book?" I reply with āThe Antichrist by friedrich nietzscheā he got so butthurt! 
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I donāt mind the Jewish. I like how they keep to themselves, but cāmon. Canāt they count?
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I had a good friend of mine that was raised Catholic, she was running late for Mass. When I told her Iād give her a ride, she looked at me with a look of Horror and legitimately asked if I would explode if I walked into a church.
I reassured her that I wasnāt going to die, and I even attended the Mass with her in order to make her feel better that I wasnāt going to die due to being friends with a Catholic.
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I drove a girl to a church where she got singing lessons. She invited me in and I made a joke about disintegrating if I step in.
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I thought those guys were all about numbers? XD
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A Jesus freak at the last building I worked at - and I do stress Jesus freak: passing out Jesus business cards, bumper stickers covering his back window, Jesus shirt everyday. He says ā you are just filled with the Holy Spirit. The light is all around you, you are very blessed.ā Then he brought me flowers . Buddy this isnāt Jesus I can assure you that.
The second and slightly scary was when I visited my family recently. Total bible thumpers, deacon, southern baptist crazy. I drove in to make it to the twins birthday but told him I couldnāt come. I was in the state not even 45 minutes and he calls me and says: ā Youāre coming arenāt you?ā I ask how he knew because I told no one. ā Itās the strangest thing, I felt you. I felt when you got here. The lord was telling me.ā Needless to say I thought Iād be burned alive by some backwoods hicks.
Itās divinity all right. Let them think what they want 
āāļø
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Ughā¦buckle up, you guys.
I once invited a priest over for a date, by pure accident.
Since I worked as a mortician I often had to take part on those family held funeral meals theyāll often have after a burial. The priest who held the reqiuem was fairly new to our community and I thought it would be a good start for him to accompany us (since the whole town was invited and he didnāt knew any of those people).
So, I make my way to him, asking: āWell, I wondered if youād wish to come over after the service is done and-ā
He immediatly beamed a smile and interrupted me: āWell, I am kind of busy the next days but what about thursday evening next week? I would be delighted! I give you a call, then!ā and off he went.
He was kinda disappointed when I told him that he might had misinterpreted my offer 
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One time one of my regular clients had an appointment, her husband stayed around to later drive her home. Turned out this fellow was a retired priest. I spent 45 minutes trying (and very nearly failing) desperately to be polite while he was preaching the love of Jesus Christ and how its never too late to repent and have my sins forgiven. What sparked this? I refused to discuss religion or politics with him while while giving his wife cupping therapy and a massageā¦
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My grumps saying every monster is a demon
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I ran across some anti-abortion protesters once, the usual sort with the fetus signs and whatnot, and figured Iād have some fun. I asked them how they claimed to know the word of God, to which they of course replied āthe Bible.ā I then asked if they thought it was possible for people today to directly experience the Divine and receive messages from angels and whatnot, to which they of course replied āno.ā
I started walking through some basic Christian Gnosticism, as thatās not too out-of-line with their beliefs, though the random protestant churches that spring up all over the States nowadays are certainly debased, blind, and stupid. He asked me how I knew this, and I said a mixture of study and direct revelation from angels. Eyes got a little wider then hehe.
We kept going on for a bit, and at one point he said something like āThe prophets both taught and performed works,ā so I told him I healed my dog (which I did, he got hit by a car on a highway, and not a single broken bone, still proud of that one). I think he shit a brick lol, I peaced out after that.
That was certainly amusing, but I just hope that my influence will seep in and that they stop doing such disgusting things as harassing women in such unfortunate situations. Not gonna lie, I definitely enjoyed the experience, but I made sure to give him a little meditation he could do. Perhaps heāll awaken to reality too, thatād be nice.
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I was visiting my (at the time Muslim) mother in law with my SO and our daughter one year. She brought us to a convention center during this one of their festivals, thinking itād be okay because she is part of their faith even though we were not.
Now, she had this bad habit of talking about us to people without our consent, or rational thought and it came out around one of the Imams that we were not āofficiallyā wed and yet had a child together.
Next thing I know someoneās showing me how to put on a Hijab and the Imam brings my SO over, then starts chanting some declaration in Arabic loudly enough to attract a small crowd. As quick as it started it was over, and he looks between us and says something to the effect of āyou are now blessed in the eyes of our lord Allah.ā
He had MARRIED us on the spot! Without our consent!
And Iām just standing there thinking to myself (at the time Wiccan) Goddess save me from this dumbass 
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I was once journeying in a bus and there was a young catholic nun. She could not find a seat and had to stay standing. Some Rowdy young boys were there making side glances towards her, having sexual jokes amongst themselves .
SO out of civility I made some space and Offered her to sit there, next to me. She sat with a smile in her face, Turned towards me and asked āā Are you a Hindu? āā I said āāYesāā. She replied āā Then you are going to Hell āā. I was like WTF !!!
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As a child i was told that i had the mark of the Devilā¦ I was told this while sitting with my great grandmother in Mass. These old bitches said it in english and then the latin bitching ensued. I have no clue what was said but it was exciting to see my catholic great one unleashed
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Hah! I can totally see that. At my brotherās wedding, the shaykh was getting late so the patriarch of our family performed the nikah ceremony. Strange thing: even though they were civilly married, they were not considered married until the nikah ceremony.
Technically, your nikah ceremony was invalid. There are certain conditions, per shariāah, that need to be met:
- fixing the mahr (amount owed by the husband to the wife)
- consent from the wife-to-be
- consent from the husband-to-be
- presence of witnesses, who can attest to audibly verifying that the three above elements took place
Your MIL probably got the last down. You can scare her by asking, āWhatās my mahr and where is it?ā (Mahr can be anywhere from $1,000 to $101,000.) This is still a valid question even if she is no longer Muslim.
LOL Oy vey are you Orthodox?
Last Christmas I went to Mass for my friend. It was beautiful and ritualistic. But I canāt join a religion that protects evil pedophiles.
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As opposed no non-evil pedophiles?
Joking. Fact is, most religious and spiritual systems tend to lead to sexual predation. The Catholic Church is no exception nor the only one. Itās rampant in Muslim madaris (religious schools) throughout the Muslim world. Hindu/Sikh gurus are constantly being accused of sexual predation. Occult masters too. Give a man unchecked authority, and he stops thinking with his big head.
One reason I love BALG - we are beholden to no one.
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So, thereās a church nearby that specializes in the Latin Mass. I was a little surprised when I was talking to a priest there and asked him to bless my rosaries. He took me to the back to bless them, in Latin, per correct form. I encountered a number of people there - fixing things, sewing things, arranging things - all men, all sexy, and I swear all practically gay. I had very, very bad thoughts on what could be going on behind the scenes. If I were Catholic, Iād have to go to confession. But then say what? āI have sinned by lusting after all you hunks in blackā?
On a completely other note: there is a certain beauty in all religious rites and rituals, if you let yourself be open to it. One of the most spectacular rituals I have experienced is Latin High Midnight Christmas Mass and the endowment ceremony in a Mormon temple. Iāve also almost cried while listening to a cantor chanting Kol Nidre in Hebrew Yom Kippur services. And had a blast in a Pesach dinner.
From a sensory perspective, it wouldnāt be bad to expose oneself to such experiences. And from an analytical perspective, it could help to break down the rituals, reasons for doing this or that, and try to grasp which occult principles are in play to produce certain effects.
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