So I’m back into the current of voudan, Papa Legba has welcomed me back into his current of power but there was a price to be paid.
what was the price?
Well I’m not exactly sure what happened but I ended up dropping to my knees on the floor and having no energy for about an hour as if someone had thrown my.body into shock, now mind you I eat well, excersize and dont consume any caffeine except for coffee throughout the day as I need it so.
I’m not 100% on what the cost was but i just know i was shaking like a scared jackrabbit for about an hour and my eyes were dilated wide. And this is after I called Legba again for the first time
I’m amazed at the fact that I look around to all my life and the people that are filled in it and seeing what they are going through and knowing that I was the cause of it due to my prayers to the voodoo spirits, and the subsequent rituals thereafter that made it happen.
I have spirits come to me from time to time and remind me that I was indeed the energy that made “said divorce” happen, or " inferred misery" on someones conscience or life. I’m quite fascinated yet I dont recall when exactly the ritual was done. I dont keep a specified journal of every ritual I do or every spirit I speak to that list would be 1000s of pages long for sure
Big Changes as of March 18th 2020
So this is HUGE for me but this had to happen, under my own distress of a failing relationship I left someone who I was married too and now I am free from this person. Simultaneously I started to see the fake come to light and many people who were really on my side and who wasnt ( don’t worry unless your directly physically around me)
I feel free. To actually experience a two way street so to say. Most of my divinations, evocations, etc. For the most part have been one sided
This is still a work in progress but great things ahead.
I am delighted today as I see my future being much brighter then before as my previous entry.
The person I find myself around is a daily occurrence and while it has been a short time and it may be the oxytocin talking as it floods my brain or maybe I am just feeling better in general, I am also vindicated as to know that my new enemies are trying to do black magick on me to ruin me and yes THAT DOES HAPPEN. Retaliation is necessary preparation is the best medicine to make sure all of your neccesary ducks are in order, and I have a treat for my enemies that have waged a magical war against me
Well it seems that I am not so great at making choices for spirits to call on. I’ve called on the wrong one. Hopefully she can back off of the task.
In other news my life’s completely lonely now. I have nobody.
I’ve cut out everyone, friends aquaintances everyone I knew is now gone and I wonder how everything would go? I wonder if the phrase " you can only go up from here" truly applies it’s new to me to just cut everyone out and I wonder how it will go?
IT HAD TO BE DONE.
all you guys reading this are still fine though
So I did an evocation with Zepar only to have it fail; not only did it fail but the exact opposite was given to me.
Mages seem to logically explain that when the results are not manifested then it is the spirit teaches you a lesson I disagree, as for my opinion it is because I have lost my power as a magician and it came on quite suddenly to realize that.
My journey has not been an easy one but there is one thing to take away from my recent working is that I admitted I was powerless that I was not strong enough, that I failed to manifest the results that I desired so badly.
My answer to this is twofold and quite pragmatic and unoriginal
- Meditate until I am powerful enough to manifest results
- Use the pain from the loss and admit that my failure means that I have offered everything for the result.
However the oral contract of the demon Zepar that I remember is contingent on him producing the change which he has not, and has proven to me that
- Option 3 which I never do. Do a proper ritual with tools and more effects then just orally calling the demons and speaking my request.
It is quite a quandary that I’m in and my frustration and anger at my failure has only driven me to possibly give up magick if I can’t produce and manifest anything. Possibly if I do not rebound with extreme accuracy
My feels right now. Come get the best of me
It is me again I have been lead to Erzulie Freda and I called Legba in my astral space for a ethereal lesson in a sense I called Legba after some time of going through a hard patch within some people that were introduced to me to be forced to bow in pain before Legba screaming and hurt.
it does not surprise me that Legba would be upset with me however given my newest rough patch crawling out of my previous situation.
Through certain actions that I believe we’re my own ideas, however if they were or not is irrelevant.
I found through a text involving 3 words just that.
Someone whom I thought was a friend had sent a “tormentor” after me.
Now I personally don’t know what this “tormentor” entity is but, the last few days I decided to ask Legba to uncross me for a few days straight give or take 3-5 days.
I am a magician who does not have tools, no powders, no alter, no asson. Yet in my astral space which I forged over years and years of concentration and practice I returned to my astral home and performed a ritual to Legba trying to reach out to my ancestors and their help.
Much to my surprise there is help given to me, someone has sent something after me and honestly it tore up every bit of friends and most importantly a person that I have unfinished business with.
I know I don’t post details but I don’t feel the need too but I am wanting some divination tools that a voodoo-ist would use, but I never have acquired such tools.
So my homework is
Divinations- super excited
And retaliations- methods to be determined.
So as of may 17th I did an uncrossing it turns out someone did curse me and it involves my family (baby momma and kids, close friends anyone connected to me) I did the uncrossing ritual for the second time (first 24 hours) and I started to notice its effects immediately not only is it strong enough to blind me to the potential whereabouts of my family but my close friends as well ( as well as a bommarang effect which could come back and slingshot to me.
I noticed in my second ritual to Legba that my crown chakra opens up again and connects to my Bindu chakra simultaneously now which is a good thing but there is still work to be done always work to be done.
This was necessary not only to drive me back into my rituals and processes but to my firm grip that I can and will take back control.
I’m not gonna lie being a magician is not easy it’s dangerous if let loose to long especially when people whom have a firm hatred of you know and think they can out power you.
I’ve been working with Erzulie as well just talking at this point conversing and having my relationships with my spiritual succubi at the same time. Legba had reminded me of them not that I have been neglectful of them lately ( which is minimal) but they are with me still and that is comforting
The next few days redoing the steps to the uncrossing is going to be difficult for sure. Already things and difficulties have shown themselves to be true but at least I can say this.
Lies are being unraveled, and plans are being destroyed against me as well and enemies are being shown to me that I didn’t see before.
And it’s only the first 24 hours.
Strength has always been my goal
But I am also a realist.
Things are never easy and enemies are everywhere.
But thankfully through being humble and admittance of my failures has helped me immensely as the results are unquestionable and inarguable.
So my journey has came to a halt with rituals but has turned towards the soul traveling again there I see the spirits and those that are influencing me look like armored shark muscular beings that I don’t know if it has any real verifying details in grimoires I was never one to not be stuck in a fantasy land but my absolute perfect world is there where I have the support and the love of those I hold dearest are there. And my thinking is slightly changed towards a better understanding of my practice
I know this sounds coded but basically my family is whole and supportive there is no fear in that place or anxiety. There is just peace, not love or hate or any inflection of emotions just peace it’s hard to describe but I believe the spirits that I have contacted are simply still there but I am taking this journey myself like I have done 1000s of times before in my life where I soul travel and am going deeper into the depths of the planes deeper into the mental plane and a little further because I started to lose form in general and could feel everything there i didn’t have to see it because I just knew it instantly.
It feels strange to say all of it but it makes perfect sense to me
Gonna be doing some spell work, possible poppit work soon. After a month of meditating on it. Needed to be sure