Voices telling me it will never happen

When I was very young I used to listen and see some evil figures almost all the time I was alone. I was less than 7 yo, and they used to say mean stuff, mostly that I was a failure, and that I would never have anything. They were brown, skinny, and had some gremlin like features (not exactly, but it is the closest I can define.)

One of them, especially, would appear on my nightmares, tyring to devour me, and often he did it. Those nightameres were kinda lucid, or at least I was somewhat conciouss in then. As I grew older, I started to fight him back, verbally, and the nightmares become less and less. In my teenage years I stopped hearing the voices, or seeing, but the nightmares existed untill a couple years ago, in my mid twenties.

In the last ten years, I kinda went on a downward spiral psychologically, I was diagnosed with bipolar, and I just locked myself in my room for most of the time. And in this isolation I kinda lost all my “faith”. But in the last couple of years, I’ve slowly restard studying and trying ot find a path to me. I didn’t have much progress, I’ve tried a few spells, became very interested in Chaos Magick, and studied a bit of demonolatry, tried to connect with Dantalion, but, untill September of this year I was very armchair like.

Last night, I was lying in my bed, trying to disconect, and the room went dark. Shadowy dark, and a figure stood at the door of my room. It didn’t said anything, just came close to me for a moment, and then turned and left. I asked who it was, and got silence in response. After that, I kept staring at the door, the room became lighter, and the voices got back. The same voices I heard when I was a child.
(I’ve got a very specific goal, lovely related, at the moment, and, I’m not gonna lie, it’s one of the reasons I’ve started studying magick again.)
And those voices said It will never wok, never. They kept repeating the world never, it will never work, you’ll never be, yo’re wasting your time.

I don’t know what to get from them, who the figure was, if I should trust them - I mean, they never been friendly to me, the reverse actually.)

I want to know if someone has any book, ideas, or anything about then, or what should I do, honestly. I’m kinda depondent right know, that they come back. Maybe they are right.

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Well this probably is isn’t gonna be a helpful idea but I’m gonna toss it out for consideration…

Did you ever have bad fights with someone who has since died? Or… did you have an enemy who died or do you know of someone who hated you who has since died? Or do you have a living enemy or someone alive who hates you who could be sending negativity y your way?I’m not saying it is any of that but it’s a thought/idea and you asked for ideas.

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Well, I specifically don’t. But, both the house where my parents conceived, and the house where I live, had some history. I was conceived in a deactivated kimbanda temple, and the house my parents moved on after, there was a “curse” (I don’t know how to translate from Portuguese), with a phalanx of “demons” ( I don’t know much abou it, but both my parents where deep on their paths, and they said it was cleansed.) Besides that I had someone on my life that, again, said I wasted my incarnation, kinda out of the blue in a forum some 15 years ago. But I don’t have any enemies that I’m aware.

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Hmm :thinking: could something from that house have formed an attachment to you or have come back into your life after searching for you because it had an interest in you (in putting you down)? Or maybe it’s a projection from your subconscious because a part of you is not sure about taking the path your taking?again just things to think about I’m not saying it is any of those things. You asked for ideas I gave them. I hope other people come on your thread with better ideas then mine, helpful ideas.

I’d try a banishing ritual or some protection magick. Or tell them to fuck off.

Those spirits sound like parasites. The spirits around me give me helpful suggestions towards what I want. They have never said “that’s impossible” or “you are destined for failure.”

When I’ve done magick to attract sex and/or love, I met people that taught me lessons about that. I didn’t “get with” all of them, but all gave me wisdom that led to a better life experience. When I asked to be surrounded by girls who were all trying to hop on it, the spirits weren’t like, “That’s kinda weird dude and it’s not gonna happen.” Instead, that sort of situation eventually manifested for me, in a variety of ways actually (and not just in the dream state).

Parasites aside, the spirits do not judge. They provide.