Unsolicited nick pic!

Before we can get into Krampus first we have to find out where he came from. Krampus is the son of Hel who’s name means (hidden) she is the Norse Goddess of a portion of the underworld. the daughter of Loki and the giantess Angrboda which means ( Anguish-boding), she’s the sister of the wolf Fenrir and the world serpent, Jormungand. Yeah, “That side” of the Norse pantheon. Now, in mythology she’s been known to be a cold bitch. She’s said to walk around with a permanent grimace on her face so either she just is one of those chicks with resting bitchface or she genuinely is unpleasant. Seeing as she has a bunch of death and underworld stuff going on… Well feel free to invoke her yourself and make your own judgement.

OK so back to Krampus, Jol, or Yule as its commonly known, also possibly the origin of the word Jolly and or coming from the French word Jolie meaning festive. Is of course the celebration of the winter solstice. The shortest day of the year and the long road out of night usually marked by a 12 day celebration and rituals etc.

Not getting into Baldr and the mothers tears resurrection and and all that jazz because this is just a Krampus thread and I think I’ll leave all that to @LadyEva to do in her pagan Christmas thread or whatever the Hel she plans to do this year.

Now the gods used to like to come down from Asgard and interact with people in disguise and one of the gods that would do this was Odin. According to mythology he would come disguised as "Old Man Winter. He would ride an 8 legged steed named sleipnir and it was said he could travel so fast he could cover the whole world in one night. Of course this later morphed into 8 reindeer and Old Man Winter became Old Saint Nick. Or Santa Claus. Which is where now we make a linguistic connection even though there probably isn’t one I’m going to do it anyway because that’s whats popular these days.

The Name Krampus is from the German word for claw, Krampum, so we get Santa Claws. And Old Nick is another name for the Devil and the devil lives in Hel and has horns and cloven feet like Krampus and the underworld is where Krampus is said to take bad children after he scoops them up in a burlap sack to possibly be beaten with birch branches or possibly eaten or possibly just to sit in a corner for a while everyone else gets to eat a Yule log pastry with nuts and shit.
OK moving on…

So part of the Krampus tradition is Krampusnacht or Krampus night Dec 5 and the next day is Nicholaustag or St Nicholas day where kids get to find out if they got candy and stuff from Odin or got Birch rods from Krampus so their parents can properly beat them without hurting their hands.
Something that’s really cool that happens on Krampusnacht is the krampuslauf or Krampus run where a bunch of people dress up like Krampus and run through the town poking people with birch branches and scaring the shit out of small children and immigrants who don’t know what the fuck is going on. Sounds like a really good time! There’s no distinction between who’s been bad and who’s been good because let’s face it we all know you all have been bad ya bunch of assholes. And these Krampuses need more COWBELL!!! says Christopher Walken and Chris Kringle is another name for Old Saint Nick who also wants more Cowbell. giphy
Moving on…

So I guess the original purpose of the Krampus run was to scare away winter ghosts. Since Krampus was the son of Hel I assume he must have had some kind of Job in the underworld and it could have been to round up the dead like a hearder. Hence the whole goat thing he has going on. Probably why the birch stick thing too like a livestock herder would use a stick to herd the animals together, and then there’s the cowbell, the chains…well I have no idea but it reminds me of Charlse Dickens Christmas Carol where the ghost of Jacob Marley is covered in chains because the ghost of Bob Marley like everyone else on Christmas loves to light up some trees. Oh, where the Hel was I going with this? This was supposed to be a thread about Krampus but instead it just ended up being a cramp in my ass. Merry Christ Mass ya bunch of fucking heathens Yule live to regret this thread as much as I do or die and go to Hel.


Great title, made me click instantly for the laughs :joy:

1 Like

Oh ffs YULE live to regret it :joy:


I do love me some Krampus lore. Though him being the son of Hel is only one account that i have heard and if memory serves it’s a more recent piece of lore. I am fond of that theory though and tend to run with it However UPG may vary.

Fantastic thread :slight_smile:


You won my heart/that bag of frozen vegetables someone left there instead :heart:


I grew up with Krampus :sweat_smile:
Still celebrate Krampus day on the 5th. Never cared much for St.Niklas day - sorry but i was just a weird child preferring Krampus :japanese_ogre:

1 Like

Evidence on my social media :grin::+1:


You had me at more cowbell :joy:

1 Like

I’m glad so many of you have enjoyed the thread and if anyone has anything to add please feel free.

1 Like