I’m just wondering if anybody here experiences the same ideas on situations. I hope this is in the right forum as it isn’t for anything specific.
I’m turning 33 next month and since my late teens I’ve always had a spiritual outlook on things. I did and still do believe in God as a sense of higher power but I also believe in everything else as one big universe. That humans exist on earth, God is in his territory and demons/ghosts/entities all rest in theirs. I would constantly analyze my life because it always seemed to fit patterns even if I wasn’t conscious to them. Even lately, I had a rough 2018 financially and would find work only when I absolutely needed to but I’d work for people who’d take forever to pay me or didn’t at all. I got discouraged and it hurt my then relationship because of the overwhelming stress, but always at the very last minute I’d receive a sum of cash just in time to pay my rent, car whatever.
But I’ve always noticed things in my relationships. I’m a Pisces, hopeless romantic and would choose love and companionship that meant something to me before wealth or fame. That’s all I ever wanted. I dated a girl for 5 years when I was 19 and she 17. She sucked but I was somehow hooked and this was actually when I first dabbled in magick during our first of many breakups which I believe always brought her back, but brought back the bad, lying, manipulative, narcissistic person she was. That is another story I won’t get into here.
What I’m getting at is we’d break up for a month and a half, or two months, and one time about 9 months and she dated another person but eventually left them for me. The first breakup, the 1.5 I sort of sat and waited and eventually she came back because that was what I wanted so much and I don’t know why. The second, longer break up I had a one night stand and then she came back again; all breakups she had sex with one or more others, btw. Long break up I had multiple other relationships or hookups, but didn’t actually date anybody else.
Other girlfriends I had we’d separate for a bit and I’d get them back, but what’s weird is it seems as though the Universe to some extent would bring me other people to “hold me over” it seemed. When I had a short breakup and was going to get what I wanted soon enough, I didn’t have opportunities. But other times when either the relationship was done for good, or a bit longer, it seems as though options would present themselves one way or another.
Right now I’m wondering the same again. I had my recent ex leave me last December and it’s been a month and a half since and I’m still pining over it and doing plenty of work to try and bring her back. But what I can’t help noticing is she nor I have anybody new. I’ve been looking, talked to some and it went literally nowhere for one reason or another. And not to go into it, but I had ways of seeing what she’s been up to as much as I hate to say that and nothing. Could it be I’m just not ready to move on or is my workings changing our fate?
Here’s why I wonder this. I dated this girl and was crazy about her and she with me, but we only dated 6 months then it was done. I hated it being over and wanted her back badly and didn’t do my own work but hired someone to do the working for me (she never came back and I never talked to her again). Being it was done for good, out of nowhere this girl I used to hook up with came out of nowhere 2 weeks after the breakup and we went out for drinks then back home for you know what. It was done after that. A month later another ex from my past and I started hanging out for a couple of weeks and hooked up. I didn’t do any of the searching, they just came like “here, have fun to get your mind off something that’s done for good until the next one comes around.” I didn’t even care for it but it was there and has happened every time until now.
Sorry this is long but I’ve been thinking about this since December when it dawned on me how I kept wondering who’s going to come out next and there hasn’t been anything, much like the first breakup of the 5 year relationship. I just had to talk about it and see if anybody else experiences similar “gifts” from whatever you believe in when you really need it.