UN-fucking my life -in magical mundane and personal matters

And.

That’s why you are the mother of the most powerful magicians on this planet!!!

Well done, I mean we’ll fucking done

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the first 2 and a half minutes -dont start there, but wathc til then


feeling myself in between of those two


go furries go :smiley:

but jokes aside -its very interesting.

I like that you put this out there. I myself have gone through various stages of chaos in my physical surroundings, and it took me time to be able to alter those surroundings on a semi permanent basis. I did learn that often my physical surroundings can reflect deeper emotional states - also ADHfuckingD lol!

The most powerful tool I learned I call “cleaning out of love.” Sounds hokey and cheesy, but i try to apply it. This means sometimes i clean out of love for a person (when i lived with others and loved them), cleaning out of love for my pets, cleaning out of love for the deities i maintain shrines for, out of love for my plants, and also importantly, love for myself.

Love yourself and know you are worth a clean, comfortable, beautiful and magic space. Now ive some dishes to wash!

Good luck :black_heart:

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i fucked up. Two contacts blocked me… one i disappointed, the other…idk …the other i always tried to reach out to …but he never wanted to talk, but we shared some passions, and projects…and.

This lonelyness…its a lie -its not how tihngs are supposed to me.

Updates (which i neglected out of fear that people might use informaiton against me)

…paranoida…anways. Here is whats new:

1.) got a cleaning job at a preschool, two actually.
the work isnt the problem, but its the exhaustion of cycling everywehre, working for a few hours, driving bakc home and now much time after that, more cycling to the other workplace.
BUT…its …not too terrible.

2.) got a appointment soon, another possible job offer -idk if i REALLY wanna work even more.
since i work like 5 hours + the cycling through the city. But it would pronably not hurt to check it out.

3.) soon i gotta cycle 25-30 kilometers to another city, to give testimony at the police there.
Some bullshit about a dickpic i supposedly send which was supposedly so terrible she feels like filing a lawsuit…wtf

4.)my room still looks like shit, i felt very lethargic recently, especially after work.
but this emotional hit i just expeirenced…motivates me to stand up again and try to fix this mess.

5.) i now wanna offer my help whenever i can, to my remaining contacts…
i want to make srue they feel my appreciation…


nice syncronicities

Silim Madu Tiamat <3
Silim Madu Summun Mummu Tiamat <3
YA YA IA BAHIA TIAMAT <3

Despair is a lie.
Impossilbility is a lie.
Weakness is a lie.


i will never bow to the false light
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i will go to the bank, i will go to the social office, i will go to court
-i will fix my finances and secure myself my living conditions

i will not bow to the false light
-when i died at the 13th of December 2019, about to be devoured by my brother, i still held my girmoires tight to me, and praised my family and spoke EE-AH EE-AH cause im loyal and know where i belong to ~~the reward was forgivness by the dark father, in his ziggurat in the dark void, torn away from the heaven, and brought back home

i will not give up,
i will not accept impossibility
i will not accept defeat,
and never lie down like a dog, ordered to die

YAH YAH BAHIA YOGSOTHOTH
YAH YAH BAHIA TIAMAT TIAMAT

the only light i love, is that of amaterasu
and the darkness of those from beyond

Blessed Azazel, i thank you for your patience with this fool.

“Dreamers are creators. You are the dream of a dream of a dream. Become aware and shape this world to your desire.”

-Azathoth

Parapphrased from [???]
“Azathoth and Akreoth, are both part of the same being.
Azathoth, the dreamer.
Arkreoath, the aggressiv conscious creator”

(things i have to meditate about.)

“intention alone, shall bridge the rifts of ignorance, of the true nature and names of the entities sought out. Form a sigil from this, instead of speaking to names, bound to the wrong ears.”

-unknown.


“Dont be afraid of the “ugly” shapes of your wives’ true selves. Such forms as that of mankind, are rather recent, and will soon be forgotten.”

-unknown

(mundane) UPDATE

-did some request to fix issues with my bank account
-family will tollerate me until april
-am setting up stuff, so i may receive the funds and support necessary, so i dont end up homeless