I come from a Christian background growing up. I have been very slowly moving away from dogmas. It is very hard for me since it is hardwired in my brain. I have studied certain occult material for years now, but never tried anything apart from meditations, astral projection, and banishings.
I feel that Hell is a construct that can be viewed from many different angles. I believe that Hell is a reality that we create. I do not want to go down a LHP or a RHP. I just want to go. I want to experience all that I can. My mind holds me back from doing any form of ritual besides banishings regardless of the path. I know that I can do them, but I feel chained as if something bad will happen if I perform… say an evocation from an infernal spirit. Not bad as in the spirit will screw me up, but bad as in something happening in the afterlife. I’d like to ascend and not descend. Is this possible following a LHP or RHP?
I would like to do the Mastering Evocation program, but I feel if I do this I am practically “damning” myself.
I want to move forward, but I feel like I can not. What can I do to overcome the negative feelings and become free to do what I like without consequences?