Truth & Reconciliation

Dreamt of being chased by a blind white lion, trying to fight it off but its claws were in me. I was on the ground, it looming over me like a lover, claws in flesh, then woke up. Felt sick, felt ominous presence(s). Banished, set wards, and went back to sleep. Broken sleep. Weird dreams. Today feeling drained and ill and foggy.

Saturday, 24th October

I have a few things to ramble about today.

Tarot

Did a free reading for someone (on another site) last night. Interesting interaction. I neglected to warn them that the deck doesn’t fuck around, and it was a pretty brutal draw for a love reading (including three of swords and 10 of swords back to back)… thankfully they took it quite well and actually expressed gratitude and appreciation for the advice.

I don’t know if this is a good thing or not, or whether it’s due to lack of structure/command, but I seem to be able to channel, with a reasonable degree of accuracy, whatever it is that’s currently taking up the most mental real estate in the querent’s mind. Which can be a blessing and a drawback and occasionally get in the way of answering specific questions.

A querent asked me once “am I going to marry someone like [obscure musician]?” and I thought I’d fucked the draw up because the cards didn’t really make sense, but I responded with what I was being told… that the querent was using obsession over this musician to escape into a fantasy world because their waking life was unbearable. Welp, turned out the cards were right.

It’d be nice to make a living (or have a side-hustle) doing readings and magickal work for others. Maybe once I have a bit more prestige.


Orias petition today. Felt all kinds of weird going into it, I was breathing heavily and felt tingly and faint, and getting a bit of tunnel vision. Also, the curious sensation of muscles in my extremities tensing and tightening up, which seems to be becoming a common occurrence when I call on demonic currents.


Cimeries

Marquis Cimeries had been on my mind for a while to call on, and I finally did this Monday past (19th October).

Experience:
An event in my waking life had seeded some fear in me that had not been there previously, and the fear had been interfering with my mood and my manifestations. I’d experience it as a rush of physical anxiety that followed whenever I had a fleeting thought about the event in question.

On calling Cimeries I felt a very strong and pleasant connection. I asked him to remove all of my subconscious fears.

Within the hour I had results – as I mentioned in an earlier journal entry. I’d tidied up after the ritual and gone to bed. While trying to drift off to sleep a stray thought popped up and it was immediately followed by that sickening rush of adrenaline. Instead of trying to suppress it like I’d been doing previously, I just dwelled in it, and let myself feel the physical reaction, divorced of thought. When I’d acknowledged the feeling I then said to it “thank you for releasing”, and let it go. Then I turned to face the memory that caused it, and instead of either shying away from it, or diving into it, my mind skimmed over it and barely rippled the surface, and this thought arose: Something shitty happened to me, but I am strong enough to move past it.

It’s now Saturday and the anxiety has not returned. Even if something triggers the same thought that previously caused it, my body doesn’t react, and my mind slides away from it, irrelevant ghost of a memory that it is, and if need be, the same thought arises: Something shitty happened to me, but I am strong enough to move past it.


Thoughts:
I was fascinated and dove into researching Cimeries the next day.

My brain accepts his name as such – Cimeries KIM-AIR-EASE – but there is an insistent whisper that suggests a different pronunciation. I just now wrote it out but deleted it. It feels wrong to share it, both because I haven’t asked his permission, and because I am not 100% certain it is a link to him. Cimeries fits, but there is another which hold my attention better. I’ll keep it under wraps for now.

The obvious answer is to call him up and speak with him. Finding the privacy to do so has been a bit difficult so I refer to the most information I could find on him, from VK Jehannum’s post on him.

First, a note. He didn’t appear to me with (or rather, I should say, my mental impression of him did not have – ) “strawberry blonde hair” and wings, as some accounts are given. Rather he was handsome and pale, with long black hair, and wore a black suit of armour scrolled in iridescent red.

On to the meat: it mostly makes me think of how Demons of Magick has reinterpreted the powers of the demons in a modern context, and seeing the relations between the powers stated in DoM as opposed to how they appear in The Lesser Key of Solomon. For instance, Camio “gives men the understanding of the voices of birds, bullocks, dogs, and other creatures”, which is reinterpreted in DoM as “to communicate well with those who are less intelligent”.

Powers

So in VK Jehannum’s posts he lists the powers of Cimeries thus:

  • imparts scholarly erudition and studious diligence,
  • teaches grammar, logic, and rhetoric to the witch.
  • can make the witch brave and leaderlike,
  • can erase the trait of defiance for the sake of defiance
  • a spirit of strength and structure, he can give the witch the confidence to publicly challenge the mainstream narrative [and] refines her character for warriorhood
  • helps the witch find lost or hidden things
  • imparts success in writing and helps in communication and networking
  • refinement of one’s psychic senses
  • assisting in the attainment of lucidity within dreams
  • the ability to help people cross seas and rivers quickly is attributed to him therein (under the name Tuvries)
  • According to Rufus, “He can help you to understand and master the pieces, parts, and whole of any system,”
  • a god of avarice (read: ambition).

Another online source gives these additional powers:

  • He will bring you luck if you are going to the Expedition
  • He will give you bravery and sharp mind, also he will gift you the Heroism in the fight

Compare these to his powers given in DoM:

  • To appear strong and charming, to command the respect of all who encounter you
  • To illuminate and remove subconscious fears that weaken you
  • To find lost objects.

Some of these do seem a tad contradictory – but that might be semantics, and I’ve rambled enough, so I will likely return to this another day.

The ability to help people cross seas and rivers quickly is of particular interest to me. How to interpret this in a modern-day context?

One could, of course, take it literally. Consider: to cross a body of water in ancient days was no small feat, whether river or ocean. These days we have motor-powered vehicles like boats and aeroplanes. Beyond that, occult texts seem to very much encourage reading between the lines to puzzle out an entity’s true powers.

What is a river or an ocean but an obstacle which (at the time the source texts were written) requires a great deal of time, effort, and planning to surmount?

In addition to this – another of his listed powers is to help you understand and master the pieces, parts, and whole of any system.

Reading this immediately enflamed my excitement, for I immediately drew the dots between my work with the Law of Assumption and a way to expedite results. Do I want assistance in overcoming massive obstacles? Yes, please! Do I want to understand and master the parts and the whole of “any system” (including a system of mind/of belief)? Heck yes I do! All of which makes Cimeries of particular fascination to me.

I had further little sparks of inspiration reading through the

numerical values of his name,

“Burning/Fire”, “Ford”, “To Sow/To Scatter Seed” (in reference to sperm), “Seed/Sowing/Offspring”, “Steady Rain/Persistent Rain”, “Fury/Wrath/Arrogance”, and “Pledge/Bond”.

“Despair/Test”, “To melt/To dissolve/ To be liquefied”, “Nail”, “Trampling/Trampling place”, “To guard/To watch/To watch over”, “Scribe/Secretary”, “Book/Census”, “Book/Missive”, “To Burn”, “Tattoo/Incision/Mark”, “To Divide”, “To Break/To Shatter”, “To Be Evil,” “Sinking”, “Trample Down”, “There/Thin/Thither”, “Bird of Prey”, and “To Scour”.

and seeing “to sow/to scatter seed” and “seed/sowing/offspring”.

I absolutely will be working with this spirit again. My offering to him was public praise, and indeed he deserves it, and I hope this log is but the first of many. Perhaps I’ll create a thread on him once I have more to report. I look forward to it.

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Sunday, 25th October

Drake – Finesse

Not much to report.

My nails are getting too long to type properly with.

If I was better-prepared and not so lazy, I’d have cast a ritual last week for what I have to face tomorrow. Rather, I’m just going to wing it, which is how I approach most things in life, and seems to have worked out for me so far.

I should plan something for the Halloween blue moon. Perhaps I will cut my fingernails in ritual offering.

Most of this weekend was spent diving down internet rabbit-holes. I find it oddly comforting to be reminded how warped and uncertain “reality” is. It shores up my belief that the 3D world is exceptionally malleable.

Today:

  • A minor manifestation after setting an intent for it yesterday, which I’d completely forgotten abut until it showed up. Just another experiment in testing the law. It’s coincidence! …Or is it?

  • Ritual from Sigils of Power and Transformation

  • Direct magic… of a sort. At first, not on purpose, I spaced out and entered a sort of waking trance, and ended up “opening” an image of someone like you’d open a sigil. Then doubled down deliberately, deep trance, astral temple, summoned them, interacted, dismissed. Very unscientific, but pleases me. Will need to test further.

  • Shuffled the ever-loving fuck out of the new deck. Me, thinking: when are you going to show me something positive? Two cards leapt out: king of pentacles, two of cups… … … … I don’t know what to make of this. Don’t play with my heart, new deck.

Can’t be in a room with you and stand on different sides
One thing at a time
I have to learn to hide
One thing at a time
Emotions running high

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Tuesday, October 27th

Nothing But Thieves – Particles - Piano Version

Probably barely a journal entry focused on magic but I’ll see how I go.

Actually let me put all the magic (?) at the top and all the moping at the bottom.

Presence

I woke up around 2.30am last night. I’d been dreaming of lying in bed on my stomach. Someone sat down on the bed next to me. I didn’t see their face. They said something to me, then dug their fingers roughly into the meat under my right shoulderblade. I awoke with a jolt, lying in the same position I’d been dreaming in, still with a bit of lingering pain in that one spot. The bedside lamp, which I’d left on by accident when I fell asleep, flickered and went out, and then flickered back on.

This marks the second or third sleep-related event in the past week that has unsettled me, and I’ve been feeling generally shitty and out of sorts, which is ringing some alarm bells. So after re-setting wards, I called @Keteriya’s Luna:

Who was wonderfully responsive, and nosed around the room for a bit before I asked her to inspect and cover the rest of the house. When I got home tonight I called her again and she appeared right outside my bedroom door. Interesting.

I’m thinking about also tasking one of the Goetic demons for more protection.

Ritual

Since I was wide awake anyway, I fired off a bunch of Mystical Words of Power rituals. I’ve always liked to do a bunch of these one after the other so I forget which I’ve done. The emotional transmutation is helpful. I vaguely remember what I did. Will report back, maybe.

Sad

I’m sad.


I am tired of thinking about the same thing constantly.
I hate being awake.
I hate the weekends and I hate the workdays.

I know my mood can change overnight or in hours, but right now I just want to stare listlessly at the wall and listen to sad songs and wallow in self-pity.

But I’m nothing so good, no I’m nothing
Just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs

Don’t know if this sadness is entirely mine. I keep having random little frissons of pre-goosebumps all over my body; beginning last night and lasting all of today. I don’t like it, and without any clear mundane cause it makes me suspicious. I’m gonna banish and re-set wards like all hell.

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Some of us have noted, that she tends to patrol doorways, windows and other entrances in our homes, that can be used as portals for the unwanted, I’m not sure if this is the case or if she was just respecting your space :stuck_out_tongue: Either way sounds like she’ll do her best to aid you on this conquest.

Edit: You can ask Luna to take the sad/bad feels. She’s pretty good at transmuting them into better things, from what I’ve experienced myself.

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My bedroom doubles as my ritual space, so I don’t know whether to take that as “this is the most troublesome area” or just “hey I was guarding this specific area for you”. :stuck_out_tongue: Maybe I’ll call her up later and see if I can figure out what she found. So many damn doors and windows in my house so definitely enough to keep her busy.

I see her as standing about thigh-high, decidedly purple, with mane shaded through with tones from twilight to midnight blue, and the symbol on her flank is white. Super responsive, and I’ll be relying on her help for a while, I think. :smiley: Thanks for sharing her with us :two_hearts:

Also edit:

I will 100% be doing this. Normally my go-to method is to call up Dantalion and bask in his passive current. This seems much more convenient. :smiley:

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You are most welcome. I am really pleased that she’s able to help so many people, I was worried about sharing and that no one would have interest in her.

She seems to like blue and purple colors, though I’ve seen other colors reported so far, so it may also be slightly what the summoner expects or desires as far as color goes.

She seems to enjoy her job too, which I think is definitely a positive thing. She also seems to be able to answer questions, though it gets sketchy when asking about things like numbers and timelines, but I think she should be able to help you identify the cause of your issues, so that you can take the right measures.

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Update: I’m feeling more uplifted and determined now.

Asked Luna to remove my sads, and I went and traded a reading with someone on another site. I am deeply awed by and respectful of tarot divination, but also I’ll be damned if I take anything lying down. Fate is not set in stone, or what’s the point of magic?

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Thursday, October 29th

PARTYNEXTDOOR – Kehlani’s Freestyle

Initial success manifesting material results with affirmations.

What’d I do differently?

  1. Actually stuck with the same affirmation for days on end. Whenever I was idle, when I was falling asleep, when I was performing chores, when I woke up, when I had a few minutes spare that I’d normally spend looking at my phone.
  2. Affirmations were results-focused, i.e. focused on an objective, material measure of success, not a subjective feeling.
  3. Decided on an affirmation that felt natural, i.e., it sounds like something I would say aloud if my best friend asked me about my situation – in my words, my dialect, my natural rhythms of speech.
  4. Appended “…this week” to my affirmations.
  5. Looping said affirmation would effortlessly conjure a mental image and that would put a smile on my face.

Started on Monday or Tuesday (maybe Tuesday). I will stick with this one and see where it gets me this time next week.

Blue moon full moon Halloween this weekend. I still have nothing planned.

Last night Wed 28/10 – Unfreezing ritual, part one.

Tonight – Unfreezing ritual, part two.

Who did you love that I gotta shake hands with?
Who did you love that I gotta make plans with?
If we not standing then it’s not a one night stand and
I’m not romantic, I’m not with the antics, no
Damn I wish I took things slower

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It’s comforting, because it takes the boring out of it and allows one at the bottom to rise to the top.

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Monday, 2nd November

Felt oddly buoyant today. Very few troubling thoughts, which meant very little prompt for affirmations. Nice to be back in that expectant, calm, certain mindset of “it is done”.

Note to self: need to perform more magic to lube up grease the wheels of my day-to-day life. Everything goes smoothly in general, but there’s always room to adjust and nudge it onto an even more pleasant course.

Fri 30/10: Finished Unfreezing Ritual, day three.

Saturday 31/10: Opening for the group ritual work I’m doing; petition to Hekate.

Sunday 1/11: More work with Hekate. Visionary magic. She, as pale as death, robed in black or midnight blue, wearing a crown of three moons. After the group work, I hedged that I had something else I wished to request. “Ask,” she said. Her voice is deep. I asked her assistance to break down, destroy, and remove any barriers that stand between myself and my goal.

She showed me the shimmering trail of a full moon reflected in the sea. The light of the Moon is hindered by nothing physical; its path is clear, even when the tide draws back to reveal rock or reef or hidden precipice. She showed me myself, a key piercing my heart chakra. “The key that unlocks the world,” she said.

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Tuesday, 3rd November

I called on @Lady_Eva’s Angel of Lost Things:

  • Drew the Angel’s sigil in black ink on paper.
  • On the back, I wrote a little rhyme outlining my petition.
  • Lit a blue candle, a pretty, new, light pink taper, and a candy-smelling incense that reminds me of pink musk sticks (my childhood favourite).
  • Meditated for a few minutes by looking through the candle flame, then opened her sigil while calling her by her title.
  • Once the sigil was flashing, I addressed the Angel of Lost Things, and read my little rhyme aloud:

to you I ask, return to me
playfulness, calm certainty.
the mindset that I had back then.
what was lost is mine again.
the setting moon, the rising sun,
it is done! it is done!

I pictured the result by thinking the thoughts and feeling the attitude I intend to embody once again, folded the petition, lit it with the pink candle, and dropped it into my “cauldron” to burn.

Interestingly, it burned down in the shape of unfolding petals before crumbling into ash. The pink candle flame was dancing wildly, and a nice calm energy suffused the room. :relaxed: :cherry_blossom:

Edit: I have also seen more movement from the affirmations I’ve been looping since around this time last week. :crossed_fingers:

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Can’t believe it’s been over two weeks since I posted :thinking: normally it’s hard to shut me up.

Most of my time has been spent working in the MFWB group, rather than performing rituals for myself.

Couple things to report for posterity’s sake:

  • A handful of very specific romance-related rituals and LOA manifestations have worked to the letter… on someone other than my intended target. I’m not even mad. In fact, I am happy, and I see that happiness continuing into the future. Absolutely surreal though and makes me question my casual dismissal of “divine intervention”.

  • Two weekends ago I woke up to it raining and opened the curtains in my room to enjoy the view, only to find a dead toad – belly-up and with its mouth full of dirt – on the windowsill, a foot away from where my head lies when I sleep. No obvious signs of what killed it (normally it’d have its guts eaten by birds). Took a photo of it to show people and the photo had some odd visual glitch in it. Took it off the property and disposed of it. Found another dead toad in the yard while I was out there. Bit concerning. :grimacing:

LOA-style manifestation seems to be treating me pretty well. Currently working on physical changes so it’ll be interesting to see how that pans out.

Peace :two_hearts:

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Saturday, 14th November

Began one ritual each with Haniel (ongoing) and Karviel, once per day for seven days. Missed a night so concluded Karviel ritual 22 Nov. Side note: I have so many damn F e e l i n g s now. Can only hope that as promised, those feelings will be returned a hundredfold.


Thursday, 19th November

On performing the opening/protection ritual from DoM, had a spontaneous vision of… something. The environment full of intersecting prisms, dodecahedrons or icosahedrons, all entangled in an endless net underlying everything. And I had the sense that I could fill and colour each one of them with intent; shading them with a different ‘feel’, watching them flowing from future to past. And shading not only those of the ‘future’, but those of the ‘past’ as well, to create a ripple, or a flow, of intent.


Friday, 20th November

Came home and put on headphones with some binaural tones, meditated for about an hour. Came out of meditation and put on a TV show while I considered what to eat. TV show characters are in a band, they’re playing live music. “This next song is called… Sorceror.” The ceiling light above me starts flickering in time with the music in the show. The song ends. The light comes back on and stays on. Lel


Monday, 23rd November

Woke up sweating from a strange dream. I’d left some event and was walking through the bush back to my car, when a huge white goanna (monitor lizard) slithered out from under the rocks beside the path. Two more white goannas followed it, a medium-sized one, and a small one. The huge lizard walked out onto the path and lay down on its belly, and the two smaller lizards crawled inside it. It noticed another random stranger walking on the same path as me, and approached him, menacing him. I backed away and then turned and ran. The goanna chased me, got ahead of me, and lunged, so I was on my back trying fend it off with a stick. It turned into a large black house-cat, hissing in my face. I strangled it until it was near unconscious and subdued, and then ran back to the safety of my car, still being chased, but managing to escape.

Noting it here for posterity, since this is the second time in the past few weeks I’ve dreamt of being vulnerable on my back as a white animal attacked me.

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Quick read for current situation, noting it here for future reference:

Four of swords – nine of cups – two of wands

Thursday, 26th November

Opeth – Marrow of the Earth

Title

From Shadows on the Wall – to In Cold Dwellings – now Marrow of the Earth.

Always wanted to be an author of novels but the idea of static rather than dynamic and changeable is… itchy and irksome. Things need the right to change; hard to do that in hardcover. But, do like the idea of changing with the tides, or the breeze. So, updating title to reflect my… mood? Outlook?

Reading

In some ways I actually saw this play out the very next day (today); perhaps not all of it, but the current or the spirit of it. Wasn’t for me but for someone else.

Past

Looking back now at my “old” posts. I’ve come a long way, in some ways, and in others, not so much. A lot of things left said but un-done, true to my nature. :stuck_out_tongue: Given the above, I wonder if my next pondered worthwhile project would be a tarot draw at the beginning and end of each day.

Concluded my working for the magickal friends-with-benefits group. Nice to have a reason to perform magic each day. Now; to find a new project to work towards.

Subliminal

I’ve been listening to this on repeat:

My mood has been generally lifted. What’s more, I find my general impatience at life has been soothed.

Desire

“The root of all suffering.”

It is not desire itself that causes suffering, but the feeling of lack which it entails… causing us to notice the separation between what we have and what we want – the absence of the desired thing. The key, then, is not to rid yourself of desire, but to rid yourself of lack and the feeling of separation.

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OBE / Lucidity

Last night I had my very first clean separation OBE leading into a fully lucid dream.

Y’all. I was so excited. This is like my holy grail. I love to sleep, I love to dream, and being lucid in a dream is like this unutterably pleasurable pinnacle of experience (I’m easily pleased, obviously). Luckily I cannot leave my body or dream with full lucidity on demand, or there’s no doubt I’d achieve peak ascetic hermit lifestyle purely as a byproduct of never wanting to do anything else.

So, a toast to it being the first of many. :wine_glass:

To spare the details (jk, I have written everything I remember further down below for anyone who’s actually interested), I’ll just note how multi-layered the experience was, what I think contributed, et cetera.

  • Fasted for something like 20 hours, ate a small meal, then fasted again for around eight hours, through dinnertime. (Mostly unintentional.)

  • Was on heavy painkillers and a tranquilliser. (Prescription/medical necessity, not recreational, fwiw, and I certainly do not recommend this to anyone, only noting it here for posterity.)

  • Dozed in a twilight state for an extended period without fully falling asleep, so I was in a hypnagogic state for a long time, and cycled through multiple sleep paralysis episodes. Usually these happen when I’m lying on my back; interestingly in this case, I was on my side but I lay completely motionless for long enough that my body fell asleep.

  • Rather than the usual deafening buzzing/ringing noise that accompanies sleep paralysis episodes, rather this time I heard whooshing noises, like the wind blowing strongly.

  • Had around three or four sleep paralysis episodes before I was able to separate.

  • I called to Metatron.

  • At some point I obviously fell asleep, but the timeline is blurred. When I left my body, I was completely aware of doing so. It was only on truly waking and then reflecting on the experience that I realised the environment of the experience – while very crisp, detailed, and memorable – was unrealistic, not true to life. My lucid dream-self didn’t question the incongruities at all, and took them as realism, the same way that the non-lucid dream-self does not question the reality of their environment… which is really a fancy way of saying that I left my body, and was floating in my bedroom above my own sleeping form, and I knew it beyond question to be my bedroom, etc., without recognising that the furniture was arranged in a way I’ve never arranged it, and there was a window there that doesn’t exist in real life, which led out into a backyard from a completely different house I lived in when I was younger. That kind of thing.

Detail:

First, beforehand, as I was cycling through sleep paralysis episodes, I recognised them as they kept happening, and decided to try using them to my advantage. The first was uncomfortable, and with that slight tinge of fear. I couldn’t see anything. The paralysis ended, I drew the covers back up over my head, and tried again.

The second paralysis episode, I chanted archangel Michael’s name in my head. I don’t have a strong connection to him, nor have I ever worked with him directly, but it seemed right given his role as protector, and because I have been working with angelic currents lately. I tried to leave my body by sinking through the mattress, straining for it. Rather than the deafeningly loud ringing and buzzing in my ears that I’m used to, I heard a whooshing noise, like a gale blowing 'round the eaves of the house. Again, I could see nothing.

The third time, I heard a voice whisper something like, “call your name,” and I immediately thought of Metatron, and began to call to him. I could see, in all the blackness, a single distant star, haloed with light – that corona effect when you’re not wearing your glasses, or of streetlamps through the windshield on a rainy night. I tried to rise from my body. Again I called to Metatron. I heard the whoosh of wind blowing past, again while I was straining to rise.

The image of the star grew larger, and resolved into a strange image. A white circle with a black silhouette, like a caricature of a squat, muscular man. He raised a hand and held up one – two – three fingers. The vision in the circle changed, and it took me a moment to realise I was looking as though through a narrow tunnel at my own body. I watched my body writhe and strain and violently launch itself up from the mattress.

Unsure if there was a fourth paralysis episode, or whether that last one drew itself out further; likely this is the point where I crossed into sleep. I chanted Metatron’s name again, then willed myself to rise, and then simply lifted and peeled away from my body, and was free. I was elated, and I remember thinking “Holy shit, I can’t wait to write about this on BALG.” :woman_facepalming:

So there I was, floating above my own sleeping form. I reached down and grasped my own legs and marvelled at feeling my own sleeping flesh. Then figuring I may as well make the most of it, I turned and walked straight through the wall and was outside in the yard, one very reminiscent of the backyard outside my childhood bedroom window. As soon as I tried to step through the fence, I found myself back in my bedroom in front of the window, and it took me a few tries of running the exact same route to to realise I was essentially trapped in an endless corridor.

Instead I left my room by walking through the closed door. Incongruities here which I didn’t question at the time, such as sensing my sibling in a nearby room (they currently live in a different state). I saw my roommate’s cats, who noticed me, and one of them immediately ran to me and began yowling for attention. I floated through the rest of the house (an amalgamation of various houses I’ve lived in). The front door was ajar, I walked through it and found myself in what is, on reflection, something very like a video game simulation of a perfect neighbourhood. I’d noticed that I didn’t have anything like the cord or thread connecting me to my physical body that some people speak of, but I also acknowledged that I shouldn’t stray too far, and I’d decided this was essentially the “tutorial area”, and that I should stay nearby and not try to overextend.

The stars overheard were so thickly clustered, bright and beautiful. I danced and turned cartwheels on the lawn, and then realising nothing really tethered me to the earth I just floated up, and glided around the neighbourhood. Not much else here to really note; there were a lot of odd, random structures (again, very video-game-esque), like a giant water tower, and another very tall structure which, when I flew over to it, turned out to be an impossibly tall slide… like you’d find at a children’s playground. I flew to the top but became apprehensive when I considered the size of the slide tube thing and the height of the structure, and that trepidation made me hesitate. After a moment I floated away from the structure back down towards the ground, which caused me to teleport back to my dream-bedroom and my sleeping body, and then immediately awaken in real life.

It was super disorienting, and after I woke up I was in awe for a few moments. Only when I began reflecting and putting the pieces together did it become clear it was not a “true” OBE or astral projection; rather it was an OBE-triggered lucid dream, very vividly experienced and remembered. The question is whether the OBE separation itself was “real”, and what triggered the dream. So strange to dream of an OBE and that in itself causing lucidity, but that blurred line fascinates me. Again, here’s to many more.

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Congrats on having this experience! I’m super happy for you.

I’ve been enjoying reading your journal. I absolutely love the way you write, so if you ever come out with a book, let a bitch know because I’ll totally devour it. :sparkling_heart:🤸

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Thank you so much! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: You’ll be the first to know if I ever get around to writing a book, promise :handshake:

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It makes sense to me that you’re seeing a combination of current, previous, and “fillers”. When I project in the physical, I see a representation of the environment in a similar way.

Congrats!

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