Truth & Reconciliation

So writing keeps me honest, and it’s easier to write with an audience, my personal journals notwithstanding. If not an active audience, then at least the idea that my thoughts are out there, possibly having some resonance in others’ spheres.

I should feel despondent right now perhaps, but I feel equalised. In balance. I have been reading, reading, educating myself, feeling more myself again in doing so. The works of Neville Goddard have been… panacea. Certainty of outcome brings peace. I have been acting more in alignment with my own values, knowing, as Dantalion impressed on me, that “it is too late, it is already done”. See: reddit.com/r/nevillegoddard.

Recently I realised that humans, as young children, learn emotions. These emotions are wholly integrated in each of us, down to the very marrow. The experience of joy, excitement, fulfilment; all of these are as ingrained in us as breathing – lessons from our earliest days. They are yours to feel, any time you so choose to access them. So choose them. Live the experience of “having” and feel the joy, the excitement, the fulfilment. It is hard work to train your mind to turn away from negatives, but it is worth it. As an exercise in manifestation, yes, but more so purely as balm for the soul, to realise you can tap into the mindset of happiness, abundance, contentment whenever you wish.

The more I read, the more I agree that everyone (or everything) is “you pushed out”. We’re all lizard-brained neanderthals sitting around the fire, projecting shadow puppets on the cave wall, changing the scenery with the merest twist of a finger. Consensus reality is not beyond your scope of effect.

This is all vague as hell, right? Let me be more concrete. This is a journal. It may or may not have additional ramblings appended in future. Two things I’d like to share at this time:

This thread -

Affirms my own view of reality, as well as its related reading: http://www.foundalis.com/phi/WhyTimeFlows.htm

I like my magic to be heavily flavoured with theory, I suppose.

Second, I feel compelled to share the following, which continually fascinates me (and maybe only me). It is the first part of a very personal poem written as part of a petition to Duke Sallos. Oh yes, the petition was granted, but is still very much a work in progress. In my case, it was written in one night, transcribed in ink onto handmade paper, read aloud, signed with Duke Sallos’s seal, then burned with a sample of my dried blood. I then refused to re-read the poem (saved on my computer) until the petition was granted, despite being very tempted to do so. If it wasn’t clear, the petition is love/relationship based.

I share only the first part as it is quite personal, but I feel comfortable urging others to reach out to the mighty Duke, and if you please, to adapt this for your own ends. Certainly add your own flair, make it heartfelt, outline your desire and your offering. I hope someone else might find use of it.

Serena Alora Sallos Aken
who will we be when we come to the end?
the thread of two heartbeats each thrumming in time
all is before us, all is behind
in each world, in each pattern, to search and to find
splitting, diverting, coming back to one kind
in twain and betwixt and before and behind
above and below, each dimension, each time
drawn to each other beyond rational mind
my heartbeat in his, his heartbeat in mine
the Duke in his Palace tilts his ear to my rhyme

And with that, I bid you, good reader, adieu.

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A week or two ago I had a dream where I saw a black car whose numberplate was simply PAIMON. In the dream, of course, I recognised the name, and tried to follow the car out of curiosity, only to lose it and find it and lose sight of it once more, with no satisfying conclusion.

Paimon has been on my mind a bit for the past few weeks, especially following said dream, for I had heard of his powers of mind control and bending will, and I wondered how this might be applicable, but I wanted to find something I deemed worthy before calling on him. Dantalion has worked well for me in the past in this regard, although – not to cast any aspersions whatsoever, for I have deep respect and appreciation for this spirit – it could be said that what I asked for of Dantalion was rather unquantifiable (the fault lies with me, and in the very nature of what I asked for). With that said, I count that Dantalion petition a success, based on words spoken by the person in question.

Tonight I called on Paimon to petition him, and I found the entire experience so pleasant as to be worth writing about.

I have been working based on the rituals in Demons of Magick fairly reliably, that is to say, perhaps five times a week. Me being me, and having full confidence in myself and a blithe disregard for any limitations or drawbacks, I’ve been mostly focusing on full evocation by way of practice, which I’ve so far not had complete success with, but have had very positive signs of progress (thank you, Vine). But that is neither here nor there.

So, I found myself staring into the core ritual sigil for a long time, contemplating the darkness of the void, the primordial matter-antimatter wellspring from which all creation emanated. That fathomless dark is both and neither nothing and everything, all at once, and all it takes is for its depths to be illuminated to reveal its contents as material reality. We manifest by what we choose to illuminate from the depths. It contains all, and it is only what we choose to see, by attention and intention, that we call forth creation.

So in calling Paimon, I felt his attention at once, even before I began the ritual proper. A stately, kingly man riding a camel, dressed in rich fabrics and colours, entirely at ease. His attention gained, he turned and regarded me, and smiled. And all through the ritual I felt his benevolent regard. I offered a shot of rum, which he impressed upon me should rather be tequila instead. As they say; so mote it be.

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Everyone: bitch about low quality posts about sucking demon dick.

Everyone: not read this…

:woman_facepalming:

Reeeee… :smiley:

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REEEE indeed :laughing:

I’ll admit this journal is mostly mental masturbation on my part, but if strikes a chord with anyone at all, I’d gladly welcome discussion. Please people, join me on this journey! :wave: :wave:

And may I add, thank you for your posts, @Lady_Eva, which I continually seem to stumble across at just the right time to learn from :blush:

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I’m genuinely happy about the non-demon-dick-sucking content.

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What a great meeting! Thank you for sharing. I can confirm, He is very much at ease and has a very grounded, benevolent vibe to Him (for me, anyway).

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This is all just act one worldbuilding. Once the reader is invested enough, bam! Demon-dick-sucking, straight out of nowhere. Got 'em. :stuck_out_tongue:

I’m glad to hear you say so. A lot of what I read in preparation seems to describe him as very proud, stern, almost demanding. The pride side of him I felt, but it was the kind, calm pride of rulership and peaceful self-assurance, not the authoritarian pride that demands homage and submission. If that makes sense.

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Following my calling of Paimon the other night, I drew some cards to see if I could get a feel for the cast. My preferred method is simply to shuffle the deck roughly until a single card is left in my hand, and/or until a card falls out of the deck, which I then lay face-down, and repeat, until I have a sense of “enough”. Even then, I usually draw a final card, which I take to be the card which clarifies and ties together the reading.

In this case I drew four cards, and it seemed significant that upon turning them over, one had been laid down in reverse. I don’t use reverse cards in my readings.

The Hanged Man, Eight of Wands (Rx), Two of Cups, Seven of Cups.

A strong reminder to slow down, to suspend action, to not keep pushing against perceived obstacles, and that doing so will result in the intended outcome. And while the Seven of Cups would appear to be something of a negative card, given its association with “illusion” and “wishful thinking”, I instead take this to be a nod towards my work with LoA and Neville Goddard’s teachings. Overall it seems to be a positive sign regarding my work to inculcate positivity and continue living in the “end”.

Alash Tad Al-Ash Tal Ashtu.

Do I now take the time to talk about my impatience, my extremely limited time-horizon, my almost nonexistent ability to look ahead to the future? Something I keep reminding myself: the immediate is not the permanent. Perhaps it works in my favour? My brain does allow me to sink into daydream and fantasy easily. Do I discuss my experience with limerence and how, while the lows can be crippling, the highs are euphoric, rivalling even pharmaceutically-induced states? And how, looking back at past experiences, the pure effort I poured into living in my imagination resulted in exactly the outcome I was after?

Do I mention how drained and listless I was all of yesterday? Was it the result of a successful cast draining all the energy from me? The echoes of stress from my day job? Or simply being flattened by valium?

In my mind – everything is a sign, nothing is without meaning. To view the world otherwise defeats the whole purpose of the work.

Of signs and portents –

When I first called Belial, I thought offhandedly to offer him the blood from my next random nosebleed, but dismissed it, thinking how unlikely that was to happen anytime soon. I had a “random” nosebleed the very next day, and anointed his sigil with it, and a second nosebleed within the next 10 days that followed, strong enough to drip freely over his sigil. As it dried, each drop looked like a fingerprint.

I had enough left over to save in case I wish to offer it in future to any spirit for a closer bond or an offering. Fingernail trimmings as well, deliberately given in sacrifice, because I love to keep my nails long, and sharpened to points. Perhaps the most precious, I have one or two of my baby teeth, kept in my possession for around two decades. Those I am saving for something truly special, yet to be decided.

When I first petitioned Sallos, the very next day, I saw discarded items on my coffee table, random objects left by my roommate, arranged to look like an engagement ring.

When I first felt Lilith’s energy around me, spontaneous and uncalled, and I began to meditate on her enn – I had a surreal experience, where I was walking down the street, passed under a tree, and an apple with a single bite taken from it fell almost at my feet. A crow flew down after it and simply sat there staring at me. In mundane terms, of course, it was simply a scavenger bird who happened to drop its most recent snack as I was walking by. In magickal terms, it was a singularly ham-fisted biblical reference. Upon some research, I found Lilith has been historically associated with crows, or owls, or birds of prey.

She first appeared to me on the astral as a hawk with the colouring of a barn owl (not a screech owl, as is regularly depicted); just days past, I found an old drawing of mine from years ago, of a bird of prey, which perfectly encapsulated how she had first appeared to me on the astral, down to the flecks and markings of her colouring.

When I first began to contact Vine – historically said to appear as a lion – to assist me on my journey of becoming adept at all magic, within a day or two I stumbled across the following image online, once again, in my pursuit of learning all there is to know about LoA:

I’ll take any signs and synchronities as I see them, and honestly, delight in them as marks of progress.

It should be mentioned too that about a week ago I found myself driving home behind someone whose numberplate was SHAKTI, which of course made me recall my dream of the PAIMON car, strangely referenced or reflected in the waking world. At this point I am not certain I have the capacity to incorporate more deities/research/work into current practices, although it has certainly been added to my list to investigate in future. I have no wish to splinter my attention across too many lines of study or praxis. I should be whole-assing the work already in motion instead of half-assing an assorted collection of disjointed outcomes and juggling relationships with more entities than I can handle.

My next steps – to continue working with Dantalion and Vine, to further honour my pact with Belial, to manifest reality through assumption in conjunction with the aforementioned spirits, and to work with Raphael for healing.

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My soul feels nourished. I hate not having physical copies of books for my eventual endgame vision of my Beauty-and-the-Beast-esque library, floor to ceiling shelves and sliding ladders and all, but I do like how easy it is to pick up an ebook.

Read through Archangels of Magick, a few rituals already done. Might as well read through everything that the Gallery of Magick has ever published. Rediscovering my dual loves of reading and esoterica is balm for the soul.

I had a little cry the other night calling on Haniel. The whole processing guiding you through picturing the vastness of the universe centred in your solar plexus – it just cements in me that feeling of intrinsic connectedness, being a fragment of the universe experiencing itself. Everything sprung forth from nothing; everything that was, is, and will be; was at one time all one and the same. The universe is infinitely vast, enough to make the micro/macro scale almost meaninglessly absurd in contemplating it. But flung out across the far reaches of every star and galaxy and planet, is a little part of me, a spark that came from the same source; all contains me, and I contain all.

And with that being my mindset I simply refuse to accept limitation. Even that is not the right way to say it. To refuse indicates a choice; to me, it is not so far outside my realm of thought as to be beyond notice.

So with that waffling out of the way, as I mentioned in this thread:

I have gone ahead and created a bunch of talismans for my own use, and I am interested to see how they all will work, although I’m assuming it’s going to be a very long-term project. At risk of going into too much detail, the eventual goal is to see how thoroughly I can influence another person for their own good.

This goes directly against my previously stated goal of how I imagined my progression would go in my last post. I don’t want to be in danger of spreading myself too thin. But I’m impatient as hell and have the attention span of a goldfish. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Let’s see how it goes.

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Sat down last night to prepare for an evocation a la Demons of Magick. Got as far as calling on Metatron in the opening ritual. Got no further.

He felt so present. I got lost in the “from above” aspect – His approach from a different plane – and in contemplation of His power, concerning “matters of time” especially. He showed me the fragmented realities, all equally weighted – layer upon layer, extending outward in every direction, encompassing all possibilities. He impressed on me His dominion over not only the fundamental natural universal laws – gravity, time, matter, light – but the fundamental, metaphysical universal laws.

I was shown a tesseract in motion, ceaselessly cycling, inner to outer – “As above, so below”. The inner world affecting the outer world in an endless rotation.

Normally I consider myself quite adept at explaining concepts but all of this just struck the very heart of me in a way that’s so difficult to explain. Funny how personal gnosis can look exactly like descent into religious madness. I promise I’m not going biblical on you all.

Today I did further research on Metatron. I see His role as the “scribe of God”, or, to put my own spin on this biblical title – His role as the source of all creation, filtering conscious Will through the laws of the universe.

I have been seeing so many synchronities; everywhere I look there is a common thread – “I AM”, 1111, 1337, 333. Diving into Neville Goddard’s works have given an entirely different dimension to how I approach magick.

Goddard in all his work attempts to deconstruct and reinterpret the bible, but his approach is decidedly un-Christian, as far as modern Christianity is concerned (in my mind anyway), and more in tune with the occult and the teachings of Thelema (as I understand it).

I promise there’s a point to all this.

Let us compare: Love is the law, love under will, and
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Concerning metaphysical work, “love” is but a shorthand for the feeling of union or unity, gratitude, joy, fulfilment, that “high vibrational” state. Achieving that feeling of Love – union and gratitude – when aligning with your desired outcome – your Will – this is the key.

The latter is simply a couched way of expressing the same. Earth being the mundane, the physical; heaven being the mind. Your only God is your own self. Your kingdom is whatever you make it.

That is the lesson of Metatron, the “cause of causes”. The universal source, tapped into consciously by using the fundamental universal laws.

I leave on this note:
“In Islamic tradition, [Metatron] is known as the Angel of the Veil”. :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

I’m glowing. Goodnight everyone.

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The material world is weighing on me today, I had a lot of trouble controlling my emotions. I feel far more at peace in my little temple, but I’ve decided working from home is making me neurotic, and I need to be around people more.

I wanted to once more briefly touch on my musings on Metatron the other night. He at the time impressed on me that I should call on him rather than continuing with the demonic evocation I had planned, so I went ahead and attempted full evocation of Metatron. I did feel his presence strongly still, and see some mild visual disturbances.

Every time I got ahead of myself trying to interpret the impressions I was getting, the message was “be still, and listen”. So I tried to focus my attention on that back auditory centre of the brain. My senses are still not well-developed enough to hear more than a whisper, unless I am severely sleep-deprived.

After a while of intense focus, I entered a trance, and felt myself “sheltered in the very hand of the creator” (shoutout to my fellow Wheel of Time fans), which is a term I generally use flippantly in my day-to-day to describe things which are amazing, superlative – although this time in a literal sense, seeing Metatron as an enormous humanoid carved of white marble made supple flesh, stern-faced yet radiating calm and love, and me literally cradled in his palm. I went to sleep in this state feeling overwhelmingly at peace.

Today I felt disconnected, displaced, ill-at-ease, resentful of the people and circumstances making me feel this way, when normally I feel it’s so easy to change my mood.

Patience is so difficult for me, I struggle to acknowledge that the immediate is not the permanent. And I know I’m doing the most, doing too much, when I should be resting. It is easier to rest with no influence from the outside world. I am struggling to let go of lust for results, or lust for progress, even though I technically already have what I asked for. It’s a battle between the physical sensations of anxiety and me trying to achieve the sensation of peace and Sabbath – the period of rest, knowing creation is finished.

Anyway, I combined two spells and then layered some more on top because I’m either a genius or a complete and utter lunatic. Dear god, please, anyone reading this, please send me peaceful thoughts.

A honey jar spell, and a spell to regain the upper hand, which are in some regards strikingly similar. When the candle burned out on my honey jar, I wasn’t satisfied with the seal, and so reignited it with some of the dried blood I have saved. The results seemed pretty visually spectacular:

On rewatch there’s definitely a weird sound from about 0:57 that nothing in my environment could reliably produce… :thinking: if anyone reading is proficient at scanning, input is greatly welcomed.

Although you can definitely hear me listening in the background to this :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

Night, and the spirit of light, calling
And a voice, with the fear of a child, answers

"This is the throne of our ancestors,
“Oh, son of the nation.”

Wait – there’s no mountain too great
Hear the words and have faith

He lives in you, he lives in me
He watches over everything we see
Into the water
Into the truth
In your reflection
He lives in you

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A brief synchronity. Paimon has been drawing my attention again, his name popping up with more frequency. Yesterday I was reading someone’s thread about their channelling sessions with him (sorry I forget the username and I’m too lazy to look), and felt his presence strongly.

I meditated on it, and found myself, in my mind, standing atop a high dune in a desert, Paimon at my left; sand stretched away endlessly in every direction, nothing else to be seen. We corresponded for a bit on the nature of kingliness and control, and other personal things. He said something to me like, in a great booming voice: the seed sleeps deeply and long, but it is not dead. See how the desert blooms! Stormclouds gathered and rumbled. Paimon gestured his hand and the sand fell away as a plateau rose up from beneath it, rock and soil, grass and flowers blooming.

Come today; right now I am watching a documentary; and the journalist is speaking with a man who moved to Israel, touring his house, which was modest, and had a small but lushly growing garden. The two looked out over the dry and lifeless-looking landscape that was the view from the balcony, and had a conversation that went something like this:

“Is there supposed to be growth there? It’s just a barren hillside.”

“That’s what this [where they stood] looked like, until [we developed it].”

“…Where does the water come from?”

“The underground… the whole country. It’s magnificent. The desert’s abloom. This is a miracle, no matter how you look at it, it’s a miracle.”

:thinking:

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Since I couldn’t find anything else online about them I thought I would record my brief notes on two angels I’m working with the idea that perhaps one day someone else will go looking for similar impressions if they notice them.

Eshaliah: Warm, a golden glow, yellow. Small-ish in stature, in terms of human proportions. Sunflowers. Either wearing a tabard bearing a sunflower emblem, regarding me through a riotous growth of sunflowers, smiling warmly, or holding a long-stemmed sunflower as a staff.

Mahasiah: Tall, imposing, big – like a human scaled up to inhuman proportions. Not stern exactly, but serious, almost businesslike, possessing something of a doctor’s bedside manner. Black and silver are his colours.

A minor post. I would say brief but that ain’t me.

I feel like I’m slowly opening up to clairaudience. I will have phrases pop in just as I’m drifting off to sleep. Reminds me of when I was a teenager and used to be very sensitive, and every night when I’d drift off to sleep, I’d hear a cacophony of overlapping voices; like walking down a long corridor off which branch many rooms of people talking loudly, or like randomly turning the dial on a radio and picking up a jumble of broadcasts one after the other. If I was dozing in the same room as someone sleeping I’d feel like I could hear their inner monologue. Sometimes when I was a teenager and young adult I’d also randomly experience hearing encouraging voices, like an older man saying “Good job darling” in some proud paternal way.

Still unsure whether it is just my brain regurgitating snippets of spoken information from some deep well of memory. The voices are definitely, clearly distinct from my “inner voice”; as in their source is apparently external. Various male and female voices. Usually when I hear something it startles me, the gate closes, and that’s it. Like if you think about it – where does your inner voice originate? The front of your skull, the top of it, all throughout your head? When I hear something of seeming “external” origin it seems to come from the very middle-back of my head. Usually male voices from the left, female from the right.

Anyway. Nothing important. Only two things I really recall. A few weeks ago as I was drifting off to sleep, I heard two distinct female voices. A giggle, and one said something like, “I think she’s getting it”. The other replied, “You think so?”

Last night I heard what sounded like a male voice speaking something that sounded similar to a demonic enn. It was something like “Ana fasa vafa libre” or “Ana tasa vefa libra”. No idea what it means. I have had the general feeling lately that an entity has been trying to get my attention, although it is not their given enn that I heard. Unsure what to make of it so noting it here for future reference.

Today while I was napping I also heard something that seemed vaguely important but instead of writing it down I just went back to dozing. Sigh.

I’ve been taking a break from direct demonic/angelic entity-related work, which is a shame timing-wise, because I had the house to myself all weekend and would have really relished doing some unabashed singing and chanting to whichever entity. Normally I wait til I’m in the shower and then sing my way through the LBRP so anyone who overhears thinks I’m just practicing vocal scales or something.

Either way, my embarrassingly obvious mistake was to throw too much at one thing in too short a period of time, and attribute too much importance to it; while some aspects worked, I lost control of the situation and allowed it to change me into a lesser version of myself. I am firmly resolute that there will be no repeat occurrences of that, so I’m leaving well enough alone, and in a few months I will be able to look back and see it with more clarity. It’s funny because I was able to let go of lust for results, and then received what I asked for, but I still let fear and doubt get the better of me, and so it unravelled.

Uh, what else? My mood has been good all this past week; at times I would’ve gone so far as to classify it as great. I’m calling on Fotamecus a lot to make the workdays fly by. I created my own servitor as well; I’m interested in seeing how much I can have him do. I’m very fond of him and I would love to share him but his purpose is currently far too specific to be of much use to anyone else.

I am working on myself, I’ve been “mental dieting”, meaning I spend the bulk of my free time reading books/ebooks on occult/esoterica/mysticism and similar topics; here on BALG; or occasionally watching occult-related content on YouTube. I used to pour all my free time into mindlessly scrolling through reddit or playing video games. Consuming rather than creating. I would like to return to a nice balance. And right now I see my consumption of media as investing in myself, rather than just “spending” time.

Alright, I should have gone to sleep hours ago. Goodnight all.

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Dear diary,

Mood: apathetic.

Jk, I feel great. I had a brief existential crisis on the drive home when I realised that everything around me is simply shadow, a puppet show playing itself out in slow motion as my reality catches up to my thoughts, and that every last little thing experienced in the material world is simply an electrical impulse in the brain projected onto a 3D screen. Pull back from it – one layer, two layers – beyond the person experiencing your thoughts, beyond the personality written on your slate, beyond the vessel, and who are you? I AM. Consciousness bound to a vessel, conditioned over time, with conviction in certain beliefs. Without the vessel, without the thoughts, you are simply consciousness, the current which drives all things.

But what’s life without the occasional little lightning bolt of realisation that nothing is real except the workings of your own brain, and deeper than that; that nothing is real but your own power given by consciousness to perceive? Sure, it makes the pleasures of the flesh seem unworthy and meaningless for a little while… just a little while… until you remember that you’re constrained to living in the one lifetime where life passes second by second, and you should take what you can get.

Side note, I very flippantly set an assumption for myself that I would receive free coffee the entire week without spending a dollar. Through fate or coincidence my boss ended up buying me coffee three out of four days; the fourth day, my coffee was free due to the purely mundane reason of me having a loyalty card at the local cafe that rewards every nth purchase with a freebie. No strife, no desire, no lack, simply assumption and release. If only it was so easy to untether that power from the vessel which craves and desires all kinds of things.


And now for something entirely different:

Developing my own Tarot spread.

I’ve generally given up on divination as (1) the notion that any future occurrence is given fact does not jive at all with my worldview, (2) reading for myself seems like a waste of time seeing as I sully the results as a non-objective observer, and (3) I have no wish to taint my subconscious with notions of what the future holds and let doubt take hold. I decide where the future takes me, whether it takes a moment or a month.

With that said, I’m developing a spread I haven’t seen in use anywhere else, which I drew on a whim and then later formally outlined, and it seems to fit. My readings seem to align to the “now” rather than “here’s what is going to happen”; but I guess, like I said, that aligns more closely with my belief that we’re constantly shuffling, unseen, sideways, through every possible timeline.

Although I do find it funny that readings done for myself within the same general time period keep coming up with the same few cards, whether they’re drawn by myself or someone else.

Anyway, the spread is based on Metatron’s Cube (can you tell I’m a bit obsessed with Metatron?) and as soon as I’ve hit the 90 day mark or whenever it is that I’m allowed to give free readings, I would like to try it out on some test subjects, although it’s going to be a hell of a time putting together a narrative from 13 cards; not to mention I’ve just found another potential way of interpreting the interplay between card draws.

Anyway, that’s my latest update. Oh, and I believe the spirit I’m being nudged by is Unsere, but it’s hard to find much about her online, so mostly this is a note to self to keep eyes open.

Until next time :wave:

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Sharing this here now, since I can see myself completely forgetting about it in future. Forgive shitty image quality.

The blue numbers indicate the card draw order: i.e. the first card is in the middle; two, three, and four are a semicircle above; five through seven are a semicircle below, and then two additional three-card semicircles are drawn above and below (top being eight through 10, bottom being 11 through 13).

I’m working with two reading orders at the moment. The one I’ve been focusing on I’ve named the “manifestation order” which follows the red line in the diagram. So once the cards have been turned, the cards are interpreted in this order, to determine the outcome of the querent’s desire:

card position correspondence interpretation
9 milky way overview/background(?)
3 saturn obstacles
4 jupiter power/influences in querent’s favour
2 mars querent’s desire
1 the sun conscious will
7 venus unconscious will
5 mercury conscious action/focus
6 moon subconscious action/focus
12 earth mundane life
influences
8 Aquarius intellectual influence
10 Taurus material influence
11 Scorpio emotional influence
13 Leo spiritual influence

With that said; for the card at position 12; I am not certain this corresponds with the outcome, it may be more so how the querent finds their current situation in their day-to-day mundane life. But I suppose I have drawn it for myself already so I’ll report back eventually (lol maybe) and see how it goes.

The influence cards I believe represent influences over the current path to manifestation of the outcome, and depending on their draw, can represent help or hindrance.

I suppose the interpretation of the entire draw overall would represent the likelihood of the querent’s desire to manifest, depending on the influences of all cards.

If anyone uses it for themselves or others I’d be interested in any feedback.


May as well put this here for my own reference in a few weeks/months:

manifestation order:

  • overview/background: seven of swords
  • obstacles: eight of cups
  • influence in favour: the chariot
  • querent desire: the world
  • conscious will: the star
  • unconscious will: the high priestess
  • conscious action/focus: knight of pentacles
  • unconscious action/focus: the hanged man
  • mundane life: ten of wands

influences:

  • intellectual: justice
  • material: the devil
  • emotional: page of pentacles
  • spiritual: the magician

Seems pretty accurate for me as a “current” read, but again, I have no way of gauging my accuracy of future outcome. I’ll come back to this.

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Had a fuckin wild and delightful sleep paralysis experience last night around 1AM. Dozing on my back with the covers over my face when I became conscious of being awake and in paralysis. I just chilled for a while enjoying the nice happy buzz, remembering when I used to be frightened of sleep paralysis, and now I welcome it. I thought to myself something like “Why would I be afraid when I am protected? Belial is with me.”

I then saw a sunburst explosion behind my closed eyelids, and I heard the most beautiful male voice singing a low harmonic note, passing through my brain from right to left. My whole body felt abuzz with energy. The same thing happened again, sunburst, and a male voice singing exquisitely, and then from all around me I heard many layered female voices whispering low in demonic tongue, and felt a powerful physical lust. In my mind I called to Belial.

A third starburst and again I heard the note sung, and then suddenly my “eyes” opened and I could see as clear as day the ceiling above me, the fan, the fairy lights strung over my bed. Immediately I was like “Holy shit I could astral project right now” but then my “eyes” clouded and became dark again, and I was confused, unsure if my physical eyes were really open or not, or if the covers were no longer covering my face.

The phenomena faded and I was left unable to move still but fully aware and kind of in awe, so I breathed deeply and slowly to bring myself out of paralysis and then immediately wrote down what happened.

On a less exciting note I had another instance of sleep paralysis a few days ago, but I was just dozing listening to the loud white noise fading in and out around me. Then I heard an older male’s voice clear as day complaining about me, like, “I’m tuning the radio stations for her but she’s just not dialling in to the frequency!”

Damn, I wanna go for a nap now and try and climb out of my body. What I would give to hear that hauntingly beautiful singing again.

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Neville’s stuff is awesome! Every time I dip in it’s like the simplest stuff but you still get more from it

Sorry just randomly commenting so I can read the rest of your post later and concentrate as it looks fascinating :grin:

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Agreed. Jospeh Murphy is great too. They were both students of Abdullah.

I definitely get more benefit reading their same books and lectures over and over, as opposed to reading other peoples’ takes on them. Nothing beats the originals ^-^

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Another heartwarming sleep paralysis episode last night. It was hard to fall asleep but as I went into a doze, I started awake and felt an odd presence. The room was hot, even though it’s winter here and gets down to about 11°C overnight. I just closed my eyes and thought “Belial is with me”. I heard a voice whisper “With you,” in confirmation, and I rolled over and went to sleep feeling comforted.

I know many here might not describe Belial’s energy as “soothing” or “comforting” but whenever I feel concerned or unsafe he’s the one my mind turns to.

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