Seriously though… You’re probably right.
The best thing to do when you’re first starting out working with things you don’t fully understand is to write the experience down immediately after the ritual and forget about it. A lot of people can’t remember everything they’re shown simply because their experience is less visual and more physical feelings / aura feelings.
I used to have trouble remembering a lot of the things I did but I had a large increase in being able to remember them when I started writing them down and reflecting on them instead of thinking about what happened. It just made them distance memories that I could pull from with the important details and forgetting all of the rest.
Example : I tend to have anxiety before rituals and always go into a weird state previous to trance because I have severe over-stimulation in my brain 24/7 to begin with. A lot of my rituals that require me to focus on a single point always seem to leave me drained and with little to no memory of the over-all event so I started writing down the first thing I could remember and then the 2nd and the 3rd and so on until I couldn’t remember anything else and to me those were the important aspects.