I was 23, suicidal and an Atheist, and sitting in my empty apartment, having dumped or given everything I owned in preparation, with a map (er, pre-gps, and phones were bricks) planning the road trip to the remotest location I could find where I planned to gas myself in my car in peace.
And in the first clairvoyant experience I ever had, a crystal clear, firm but slightly condescending voice said:
“You do KNOW you’ll just reincarnate, don’t you?”
Me: “Well, no, fucker, I didn’t fucking know that, and who the fuck do you think you are anyway? Piss off! Arrrggh!”
And in that second, I wasn’t an Atheist any more. I certainly had no intention of risking a repeat of my childhood, raised as I was by a sadistic narcissist. Then I felt totally cheated. I was mess of hopping-mad, livid despair for a while. I started the long road to knowledge and ascent after I calmed down enough… but I’m still a very angry person. Everything about this planet makes me angry, but it’s not time to leave so I have to try to change, it, myself, or both.