Thanks! I was looking at that book previously 
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Lahiri Mahasaya said that the after effect state from kriya yoga is more powerful than any technique. SantataGamana goes to great lengths to emphasize the same. This seems to be the case, the state of bliss and consciousness attained from kriya supreme fire might even be more important than the technique itself.
I’ve been thinking about kundalini lately, and I’m not that enlightened on it, nor can I say anything with certainty, but I think it’s likely an experience that can be had with the energy circuit. It would be sort of dumb if the energy body just shot a ton of energy up to the crown and flung it out into space. I notice this with kriya supreme fire, after the energy goes up my spine it rounds the crest of my head and goes back down the front of my body.
I had an interesting experience last night. I awoke into what might have been the astral equivalent of my room. It was diffuse with silvery light, and the covers were flung off my bed. A deep and resonant voice started talking to me, it came from above. My body started vibrating as the voice introduced itself as my higher self. The voice told me some interesting messages which were all underscored by the theme of getting out of my own way, overcoming blockages, trying harder, the usual stuff. I’m sure that I could make tons of money on private consultations saying stuff like that.
I’ll take its advice though.
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That is exactly what the kundalini is, an energy circuit. If you’re interested, I recommend the book Path Notes of An American Ninja Master by Glenn Morris. The author himself went through the Kundalini using qi gong, and describes the process from a non-religious Western perspective.
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I am noticing a lot of synchronicity and signs in my life. I don’t experience other synchronicity that people report, like angel numbers, rather I have deja vu moments that often come with a flash of precognition for the next 5 - 30 seconds. These moments are often spontaneous.
There have been periods in my life when I go months without experiencing these moments, the last 2 months I’ve experienced more than I have in my entire life. I don’t want to say I’m getting close to something, but something is at play and I don’t really know what it is.
After I listened to the concordia booster for a while I got pretty good results, but for some reason I couldn’t get back into subliminals. I found a great new subliminal channel, Wabbajack Subs, that is like absolute power subliminals except they focus on more specific things. I made a bundle of their subs.
I think they’re working well, as I am noticing some resistance, but not an insane amount.
I’ve been trying to have success with falling asleep while manifesting. I understand the last thought on our mind before sleep is very powerful. I don’t remember when I fell asleep the last two nights but I think I had success.
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More signs and synchronicities are happening.
Yesterday I got really intense resistance symptoms from the subliminal I was listening too, but I think I’m turning the corner, which is awesome.
As an experiment I started a YouTube channel making subliminals last week. I used Labusi’s sigil to make it go viral. So far I’m totally surprised I already have about 65 subscribers and someone from another channel contacted me wanting to make a collaboration subliminal.
Last night I had another experience with my higher self or something else wanting me to project. I laid down to fall asleep and relaxed, almost immediately vibrations started from the third eye and I felt that my body was spinning. I think it has something to do with the subliminals I’ve been listening to.
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I guess there is a difference between intending and doing. I actually took a break from spirituality for much of the last month, and only recently picked it back up again, albeit at a lower intensity.
My path and goals remain the same, figure out the law of assumption. I daresay I have been figuring it out pretty well. I have been racking up tons of manifestations, too many to list in entirety.
I got the idea for this from an author I actually don’t like - Frederick Dodson. I feel like his books are just a rehash of the Abraham material combined with his own stories about how he’s obsessed with conspiracies. I tried his intention list technique, which involves writing down a list of 10 desires which you assume are fulfilled, and noticed that I got huge results from a single act of manifestation. It didn’t make sense to me that so little effort could yield large results. I realize now that was the law of reverse effort in action, much of the difficulty I add into manifesting things is perceived, instead of making things hard for myself, I need to let them flow. Of course this is easier said than done.
I’m pretty lazy, so learning that I don’t have to do SATS to manifest things is pretty nice. Like a chaos magick sigil, I just set and forget to manifest. That said, I’ve struggled to manifest things that have more resistance. My next goal is cut out for me.
A random insight into my life:
There has been one trait I have been trying to change for a while, and I’ve made slow progress with it, not enough to appease my ambition. Every time I make a positive change in this direction, I notice that the change recedes. Yesterday, I was pondering this, and realized that I was ignoring my self concept. Maxwell Maltz says that you can’t make any lasting positive change that doesn’t correlate with your self image. The reason my own mind seems to be working against me on this is because it’s doing its job, to manifest my concept of self. I have tried to apply surface level methods to this problem, but the roots are still there.
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9/18/21
I moved into college, and to be honest, I expected much less free time.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do with it, but I think I will reserve a space for spirituality. I am pretty good at concealing my practice, as all I visibly appear to be doing is meditating or sleeping. I don’t like tools, and I haven’t really gotten into mantras yet.
I think I’ll at least try to continue meditation upon observation of thoughts, as that seems to have a really strong impact on me.
Neville Goddard appears to be very right, the feeling you hold when you fall asleep is extremely powerful. I did an experiment last week where I spent one day holding onto the feeling as I fell asleep. I notice that without fail the next day goes well.
After a while I’ve decided to update here again.
I’ve changed a lot since the start of my journey on the forum. I’m not really much of a left hand path practitioner any more, I just follow whatever I feel is the best approach at the time.
In the last few months my mental conversations have become much different as I’ve become aware of the Law in action. I tend to dismiss most of my negative thoughts and fears now. Manifesting has been pretty easy for small to medium things.
I took a break from spirituality for a bit, and have been practicing a new routine for the last 2 weeks. I was hoping to design or find something like initiation into hermetics where I can work on developing skills sequentially.
Now my daily practice is 10 - 15 min of meditation along with self love and gratitude journaling. I used to consider gratitude and self love as sort of cringy law of attraction practices but they really build up a manifesting mind and I’ve seen a lot of manifestations occur pretty easily within this routine. My life has improved a lot in general with these practices, I feel better and things tend to go my way even more than they did before.
One of my latest experiments is loving kindness or Metta meditation. I’ve found it quite powerful and it fits with my current practices.
I’m not entirely sure what my next move will be, but I think my focus on self concept will remain, and if I do decide on something: I’ll probably keep it a secret until it works as usual.
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11/10/21
I did meditation upon observation of thoughts for 15 minutes, I’ve been listening to an ego dissolution morphic field and I find that in a week I’ve gotten close to my original skill level.
The last two weeks my routine was mostly based on the mirror model, which is a manifestation model along with exercises to develop a manifesting mind / self concept, today I shifted to the next chapter of that, which the author calls the matrix model. It’s from u/cuban on reddit.
I did the usual gratitude and self acknowledgement practice today, followed by 5 minutes of Neville’s lullaby method. I felt pretty good. The matrix model asks that I choose one major goal to manifest, so I’ve been analyzing my relationship with that aspect of my life. I think I’m going to watch my mental conversations for a day or two before I make any large moves.
I’ve noticed that people I send loving kindness to in the metta meditation tend to become much nicer to me after that. That said, the purpose of the meditation is not to effect change on others as much as it is to embody the state of metta, so I try not to focus on it as a tool like that.
Additionally, the work with gratitude and self acknowledgement continues to yield results. I notice that I experience synchronicity like I did with the concordia booster. For example I can lightly think about something and notice that it appears in my reality.
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11/11/21
Today I didn’t have school so I spent a little longer on my routine.
I did meditation upon observation of thoughts for 15 minutes. This was followed by gratitude and self acknowledgement exercises, the lullaby method, and metta meditation.
I’ve already noticed results from yesterday’s session with the lullaby method. I’m eager to keep going with this.
Before starting the self acknowledgment practice I often let myself get demotivated by inner conversations, now my mindset is more like “The creation can’t be better than the creator”, so I don’t get as caught up in things.
I’ve been interested in allismind’s experiment with dedicating yourself to one idea / belief for a month, and since the matrix model asks you to choose one goal for your practice with it, my work is cut out for me. I consider it a test of my ability to restructure my life.
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It’s been a while. A few weeks into December of last year I got a bit sidetracked and stopped practicing pretty much everything. I’m sort of making a return now, not sure how much I’ll commit to. I plan to do a little bit of work with some of the gallery of magick books.
While I’ve been away from the practice of controlling my mind, I find that things tend to be harder in general. It’s surprising how much I’m at the mercy of external circumstances in day to day life. From time to time I would bust out some magick in response to an emergency, which often worked pretty well, but for the rigors of daily life, I just lived normally.
Over these months I noticed one interesting belief that comes through time and time again. The way it acts is almost like plot armor of a main character. If I had to describe it, it’s the belief that I’m incapable of failing a class. I know, it’s kinda lame, but after racking up several undeserved successes, it’s drawn my attention. In addition, at this point in my life it’s pretty useful.
I still want to experiment more with subliminals. I don’t really know what effect they have at all, but there seems to be some scientific studies that conclude they assist with changing beliefs / attitudes. The practices from this study focused mostly on repetition.
For now, I’ve abandoned listening to subliminals like the concordia booster, and am listening to my own creation, because I want to have control over what suggestions I receive. I limited it to 15 affirmations, all on one topic.
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Writting was for me the best shadow work. All that was to be put on paper, got transmuted.
I’ve been working with Magickal Destiny from the Gallery of Magick. Although it’s a stretch to say there’s anything to work with in the book as it’s very simple.
Learning to communicate with my higher self has always been important to me, I’ve just kept it on the back burner for a while. I’ve found the praxis from Answers Within to be super useful for this.
Spirit communication is just so subjective for now, trying to find the line between what’s made up by my mind and not is very tough.
On an unrelated note I’ve had an interesting breakthrough with energy work. I’m able to see energy blockages in my minds eye now. They appear as black spots.
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I know that the primary mechanism of spirit communication is the translation of subconscious impressions to conscious thoughts. It really isn’t easy, but it’s productive.
Talking to my higher self tends to make me feel a lot more in tune with life, so I’m definitely going to keep practicing.
Energy Work
My new ability to see blockages is very useful, especially since I’m working primarily on the feet right now, and they are sensitive.
I also notice that working with chakras from top to bottom generally feels better than bottom to top.
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I’m trying to update more often.
I’ve resolved myself to work with the praxis from Answers Within. Discerning what’s real is tough but I find it easier to communicate with the higher self than other spirits. Thankfully, when I look over my communications I can see that I’m getting valuable info. Her/their voice is a lot different than mine.
I have noticed an interesting motif that often appears, stars. I evoked Haniel a few days ago and she also said she can help me with my connection with the stars. Whether that was their energy or a star seed connection. The possibility of past lives in the stars is very cool, but I’m currently a ways off from perceiving that information. I got a pathreading from VK Jehannum a while ago and he said I had past lives as a non human species.
After evoking Haniel I decided to do a little experiment and get a star seed origins reading on Etsy. If both readings have the same answer then that might lead to me investigating this further.
Star seed stuff is very cool but I don’t really want to deal with it right now. I don’t have any special mission in this life as far as I know.
On another note, I’ve sort of come into contact with Hermes. Although I may be interested in working with him, my HS thinks that I should wait and think about it.
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Uiazel
I used one of Uiazel’s sigils for the first time today and also ended up reading his pathworking too.
I feel that I should work with these angels more since: 1. I resonate with angels the best
2. I had great results with Bualu just from a short period of work.
One of the reasons I keep a journal is to observe my progress, today was one of those days where my path advanced.
Upon reading the pathworking I had a feeling I should just go visit Uiazel. To prepare I did the merkabah meditation, which is still so powerful. I feel like activating the merkabah makes soul travel several times easier for me.
I decided to go to Raziel first to make the journey easier, and also check in with them.
I pushed myself out and into Raziel’s pathworking, which felt much more real than usual. It actually started to take on a bit of dreamlike chaos. I stabilized it and Raziel appeared.
Raziel appeared with short black hair and a staff, he looked very young, with a strong jawline. I think he might have been wearing some sort of green robe…
When he arrived I was able to have a bit of a conversation.
Raziel: “Hello (my real name)”
Me: “thanks for arriving Raziel, could you connect me to Uiazel?”
Raziel: “are you sure about that? “
Me: “Yes I’m sure. “
Raziel: “Be careful” (I didn’t catch this very well)
I went into Uiazel’s pathworking and when the final door opened I felt an immense pressure descend upon me. I actually shook a bit.
Inside I saw two blazing eyes of white light. I actually felt a bit of fear. This filled into a relatively featureless humanoid figure made of white light.
The conversation is as follows:
Me: “Uiazel, Uiazel, thanks for meeting with me, thanks very much”
Uiazel: “Don’t repeat yourself”
Me: I know it’s a bit unconventional for me to barge in here but I ask that you assist me in spiritual transformation, I’m willing to endure”
Uiazel: “Alright then” (communication becomes a bit unclear at this point.
From here I asked him if I could invoke him. I then channeled a sigil for that purpose.
After the ritual I looked at the sigil and have to admit that it doesn’t feel very magical. But it felt magical when I was creating it so I guess it’ll be of use.
After the ritual I felt that my life was about to change. I also felt a bit sick, probably from the Merkabah’s purification.
I have Jareth Tempest’s first omnipotence attunement. I might get the others after this experience.
What’s next on the list: experimentation with the merkabah and a trip to the lower worlds.
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A few days ago when I evoked Haniel she told me she could assist with my connection to the stars. Ascension Magick also mentions that that she has this ability.
It’s very satisfying to see my gnosis corroborated by another source.
Lower World Journey
I did the full merkabah activation, and set my destination for the World Tree.
I’m going to call my power animal Blaze from now on.
I met Blaze outside the world tree. He growled at me and then butted his head against me as if he missed me.
He gave me some options for places to visit today, which was unusual.
We took off in a random direction and Blaze started running insanely fast. We were zooming through networks of tunnels and stopped in a cave. Inside there was a bridge of golden light we walked up. There was some torches along a tunnel path at the end. This led to an underground lake. The lake was well lit.
Inside the lake were strange and aggressive fish.
On the cave wall there were paintings. One was of short humanoid figures with large heads. The other was a script, it was indecipherable and I wasn’t able to remember it.
Blaze and I decided to go to another destination. He zoomed along through some tunnels and we entered a large cavern. This one was more of a small realm according to Blaze.
There was natural light and a sky, and a mountain range covered in snow. Blaze somehow jumped all the way up to the mountain in one leap and tossed me off his back.
At the top there was a great view, I also saw a heart drawn in the snow, with a line stretching across it, as if it was broken.
At this point I told Blaze to take me to a place that he feels is spiritually valuable to me.
After more running, Blaze stopped in a temple, in the back of the temple was a large metal gate, it was dark colored. The walls were stone and there was an altar in the middle, the temple was lit by some braziers in the corners.
I felt a spiritual pressure dragging me to the altar, and Blaze nudged me forward. I wasn’t able to resist without ending the journey, so I just went with it.
Two men approached my sides and held me down. They had tan skin and clean shaven faces, with some sort of headgear, and tan robes. One of them had a knife. Their names were Malikel and Alikel.
The conversation went as follows:
Me: “are you masters?”
Malikel: “of this place, but not what you speak of “ he gestured up as if pointing at the upper worlds.
Me: “what do you want?”
Alikel: “He needs a new heart, his heart is black with corruption.”
They then proceeded to cut me open and remove my body’s heart. Malikel felt as if more was needed so he also cut out some other organs. My organs were replaced with new ones, they had some sort of spiritual quality but I’m not sure what it was.
Malikel and Alikel disappeared as fast as they came. After that the gate in the back of the temple opened and I was able to enter a new realm.
It was a gorgeous forest. A small creek ran through it, the creek was very clear. In the sky were two suns. The whole forest possessed a warm light to it, the quality of energy was really high.
I saw some sort of nature spirit scuttle away as I walked in. I saw some flying around and thought of the fae immediately.
I hastily dismissed that thought. I don’t want to interact with them without preparation. Blaze nodded his head and agreed with that.
I caught the tiny spirit in my hand, she burst away. In retrospect I definitely shouldn’t have done that.
I saw many interesting wildlife I hadn’t seen before. I got the feeling that they were wary of me.
At last I saw another man in the forest. He told me this was the Sanctum. I asked if I could go deeper, or perhaps to the heart of the sanctum.
He responded aggressively and told me that I was still impure, and don’t belong in the Sanctum. Blaze shook his head and communicated that I shouldn’t take his rudeness to heart.
After this, Blaze and I sat down in a clearing and took in the beautiful scenery. We were approached by two deer, who walked up to us with a suspicious gait.
They both lunged. Blaze pounced both of them with a fierce growl. The deer withdrew and stood at a safe distance.
The deer introduced themselves as “Guardians of the Forest” and told me I had overstayed my welcome. At this point Blaze and I left.
At the base of the world tree I took in the sights and sounds, and pondered my journey.
A bright star lit up on the branches, and I felt it call to me. I got the impression that it was a certain Angel who was waiting for me in the Upper Worlds.
Earlier in the journey Blaze told me that I only need around 2 more journeys before he’s ready to take me to the Upper Worlds. I told him that I still wanted to see more in the lower worlds.
We went home, and Blaze slipped into my heart.
I’ll likely return to the sanctum in the future. I first need to gain approval of its denizens if I want to go any further.
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Recently I’ve been considering picking up an actual divination method and practicing on the forum.
After performing the extended Merkabah activation for the first time. I felt sick for the rest of the day.
With my confidence improving I find it’s easier to obtain psychic data. It’s a positive feedback loop.
I performed an evocation of Sastan because I wanted to form a pact with him. When I was doing Subjective Synthesis I felt like he was very unresponsive. I had to pull out all the stops in the evocation to increase his presence.
When I evoked Sastan I was able to scry his initial appearance. He was a mix between a frog and the salamander initially. His eyes in his humanoid form were pure white.
We negotiated for a little while. With Sastan not being super interested it ended rather unfavorably. I wasn’t willing to put enough chips on the table to sway him into such a deal. He told me that if I was more powerful he would be more inclined.
He suggested I go to Paltator instead.
I did a quick calling of Paltator. Paltator’s sigil opened rapidly and I felt much more willingness.
I noticed my third eye was buzzing. I felt my sight expanding a bit. In my mind’s eye I saw Paltator with their finger inside my third eye.
Paltator: “oh, hello there, your eyes are mostly closed”(referring to spiritual sight)
Me: “Thank you for coming, what can you help me with?”
Paltator: (I got the impression that they could directly assist in awakening sight with energy, and provide exercises at certain points)
From here we discussed an agreement for working together.
Me: “can I get an invocation sigil from you?”
Paltator: “You already have a sigil, you won’t need anything special with me, also your drawing skills….”
Me: “…”
Me: “Thank you Paltator”
Paltator: “Until next time”
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I did some chakra work, my crown seems to be the least active now. I can feel the soul star pulsing 6 inches above my head.
I did a path working journey to Raziel and then Metatron. I felt their presence very strongly. I conversed with them about personal matters.
Raziel strongly felt that I should work with Barachiel. I had barely heard of them before this conversation so I’ll have to learn more first.
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I received the second omnipotence attunement and activated it. If I get the third I might try initiating some people on the forum.
It’s nothing groundbreaking, it just allows me to use the energy in a versatile way. Whereas before my only method was through the glyphs in Jareth Tempest’s book.
I did feel extremely ungrounded after it, and my energy was locked onto my third eye. Despite my repeated uses of a grounding exercise, it didn’t go away until I had some food.
I performed some more intense chakra work. I want to work through the major chakras, activating them further. I’ve found VK’s chakra mantra to be really useful for chakras.
Yesterday I meditated upon my root chakra specifically. I called on Lepaca to help out. It’s become much more active than before. I felt like a bit more of the seal had burned away.
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