Tone and attitude toward the spirits

I’m wondering about your methods of address or approaching spirits you are trying to work with. I’m far from well versed in this, but it seems to me to be implied at least traditionally that a magician can and should command and control whatever it is they are trying to evoke and work with, constraining them, issuing demands, and just generally bossing them around. At the risk of sounding naive, I can;t imagine they would like that sort of attitude much, and for obvious reasons I would think it’s generally a bad idea of make one angry. Besides why should anything int he non-physical world do what human beings rudely demand of them anyway.

On the other hand though I wonder if such an approach is actually for our own safety. I understand that many dangers people perceive are very real and we do need to be in control of our workings or risk a real situation. I can image how many spirits may not be much different from us in that establishing your own authority works. Still though would a spirit not resent an authority figure, like most humans do on some level. I would imagine being resented by a spirit could lead nowhere good.

As I get more into my first attempts myself, I want to be on the right side of that line between being that overly entitled and well resented person, that is bound to find trouble, and a doormat to be walked over and worse by the non-physical world.

Personally I like the thought of saying “welcome” to them, inviting them into my space instead of ordering them to be there, saying thank you, and using phrasing like “think you can help me, or answer this question” instead “do this do that, at once.”

How do many of you actually speak to your chosen spirits?

I have always been polite and direct with my spirits. I’ve never had an issue with them threatening me when I summon them because I don’t summon them with threats. Spirits will respond to you based on how you approach them. I don’t know about you but I would rather have invisible friends rather than invisible enemies. If you treat a spirit poorly expect it to screw you over, if you treat it with respect generally they will seek to please you.

You may encounter a spirit that just doesn’t like you. The best thing to do is to make a peace offering for disturbing it and never mess with it again. The last thing you want is a nonphysical entity that has grudge against you.

I’m in the same boat as you right now. I’m preparing for my first evocation. The overwhelming majority of what I’ve read or been told is to treat them as you would like to be treated. Be respectful, courteous and polite, and all goes well. I think it’s a good idea to phrase requests in a way that you let them know it’s their choice to appear to you, help you, etc. They are beings of free will just as we are, so it makes sense that there is willingness when the choice is clearly theirs, and resentment when they feel they’re being cajoled, coerced, etc. JMO.

I have never had a problem with using such wording as given in Koetting’s book, something like “Go now and bring me what I have commanded”.
And actually I asked one of the demons if this was okay to close an evocation like this or should I come up with a more neutral sentence which would not imply a command. The answer was that it’s OK and they don’t seem to particularly care about your choice of words as long as you are not implying any disrespect. Of course I was being respectful and serious before I actually tell them what is that I need to be done.

Thanks for the replies on this. And sorry for the slightly rambling, badly worded post last night. Anyways, I’m glad to see it seems like I am on the same page as others here about treating them how I appreciate being treated myself. I was thinking too about EA’s descriptions of having come up with a means of basically letting his spirits manifest how and where they want. It seems a couple of them have also just dismissed themselves and freely departed. But then again he is well experienced with dealing with them. Might it be safe for someone new to this to work that way, not knowing for sure which direction it is even going to materialize in? Haha, like I say, I want to meet that good balance of safety and not outright trapping and bossing the spirits.