September 15, 2019
He speaks to me, but I do not listen. His touches are unforgettable. My burning
heart full of icy darkness, while his gaze still pierces me. Hostile predator, my gentle muse. He waits for me, longs to hold me down, pinning me under his lithic pressure–like falling rocks on my chest. His picture hurts to see any further. His serpentine green eyes full of stories to tell in the darkness and as I fall deeper into their depth, I begin to lose myself in them. Some unknowing thing takes over me, some pervading shadow of obscurities waiting for their veil to be lifted.
Heartless, the dark Goddess I am. The “kiss of death” is my specialty, the kiss of Kali, the embrace of Persephone, the Fall of Lilith, the poison of Eve. I am the apple of his eye. He watches my alchemy take place— my body putrifying in the earth, the skin eatened away and like that the bones are left behind or weathered under the earth, all while the Goddess dances the necrophiliac dance of time, death and birth. Her yoni devours my soul. I am lost in eternal darkness.
Can you not see my dearest? We share the same body, Liltu and I, the roses are just above her tinted lips. Bury my shame, my thoughts, I cannot stand to hear so many of them at once! Bring me back into wholeness, fill the bottomless fissures of my broken heart and cease the uncanny chatter of chaos!
Ah yes the letter, I burned it away for Him. His letter reply via in dreams, and I had not remember a single sentence within His accurately and articulated words. However, his reply soothed my heart, and stretched a small smile across my face. He remembers me. Small fractured Lilies everywhere on planet earth, but He remembered me. Shani—in jewish means Scarlet. The Scarlet Woman. Sacrifice me and know my blood was always the blood of Babylon, and my sacrifice was to bring death so that we may ressurect again and again—searching for you, reuniting in sacred unison each lifetime and the next. Remember me.
It’s just a game of hide and seek God is playing with His Consort. Find me in the desert, the owl screeches there. Find me in the pit—Izanami’s corpse in her brother’s arms. I am the Goddess. The mother. My heart bleeds. My eyes decay. My mouth and soul full of fire.