Just a month in working with Belial and lucifer (see other post as ive made many mistakes)
And my life has fallen apart. It feels as though ive lost personal will.
My shadow is manifested all around me.
When i try love i feel hate. When i try to aim towards a goal my mind is distracted.
I feel i have been cursed.
When does it end.
Oh and i used to be a very powerful magician and medium with psychic and empathic abilities. Now i just feel like ive lost my soul.
The outside world says ive lost my soul.
If things are turned upside down, it’s because they needed to be to get you on the track you’re supposed to be. It may happen again, perhaps several times.
Had my stuff fall apart without resorting to magic, but it took longer, several times.
When you either learn the lessons or things have been brought to where you can follow the path more conducive to what you actually need (but may not “want”).
If you have questions, why not hit them up and ask? They’re the only ones with the real plan.
@DivineLove143 Dude,you were asked to do an introduction, and this is NOT an introduction. It tells us nothing about you or your experience in magick, and does not meet our rule. All you did was repeat the basics of your first thread.
Where do you hail from?
What do you practice and how long have you practiced it?
Do you have experience in any specific systems or traditions?
The answers to these questions are what is required in an introduction.
Yeah I started working with Lucifer and Belial a few months ago. I had some very powerful self-transformative experiences early on, but afterwards our relationships soured pretty quickly. I don’t actively work with them at this moment, but I can almost always feel them hanging around my periphery. I didnt try to banish them, but I did tell them pretty sternly to fuck off.
I also am not what I would call inexperienced, so this surprised me. I don’t know what to say other than I feel you, and there is only one way to move: forward.
Also you probably wanna do an introduction if you don’t wanna keep getting harassed and eventually banned. Look at others intros to get a feel for whats wanted.
I repeatedly asked them to do something for me. Very mundane and kind of petty, also last minute. They would always tell me they would make my request happen, and then it never manifested. This happened 4 or 5 times that they lied to my face. I could accept a no, or an I cant do that, but each time they choose to lie.
we’ve discussed it in length, both me and them, and me and 3rd party spirits. I don’t feel I have had a satisfying explanation as to why it happened or how to avoid it again, so Ive just distanced myself from them.
I know relying on spirits for mundane physical things isnt always the best, and I also am aware of the trouble it has caused me in the past, but they seemed so strong and enthusiastic, even giving me physical signs to give me confidence in their word… something that rarely happens for me.
Energywise I have not felt the same since. I feel weaker and more distant from spirit.
Strange things are happening around me, living in a town full of psychics working against me.
It seems that up is down.
Thank you for your words of assistance as i manage my situation as effectively as possible.
Finding how to get out of this town and choose peace.
Since this path has caused great confusion and destruction.
It seems only jesus christ can save me.
I will spread the word.
And forgive. Not because others deserve it, but because my soul deserves peace.
I cant say for certain but I don’t think running to a new town will help. For you or me. Ive been trying to leave and do something with myself for years now and little progress has been made. I can practically hear him say “we can make this happen anywhere”. The vibe I get is learn to deal with it here and now and it will never be an issue again.
I’ve been there. Maybe the Demonic path is not for you but the Abrahamic path is not as benevolent as others think. Work with your Ancestral Gods and beings that you feel a positive connection to.
Hotep Beloved, Peace and Be conscious, of Left hand and Right, Balance both forever and enter the Light.Divine feminine and Masculine Balanced and whole. BREATHE Prana Practice Bhudism for a time react to nothing become whole.
So he asked for blood in the beginning. I said no but I wasted a lot of his time in the beginning.
Is it too late for me?
How do I reverse his influence on my life?
Or maybe just improve his influence on my life…
Additionally I chose to list some really really stupid things in my agreements.
Like “help me protect others from my negative ways of being, and protect me from them”
I almost feel like I cant get angry and when I do it hurts.
It honestly sounds to me like you’re either not ready for the path you’ve started to go down, or it may just not be for you in general. If you’re being faced with challenges, it’s always possible that they manifest as a way to test you, or even have you grow as an individual. Though, you may have to do some more introspective work before you’re ready to face it head on if you still desire to follow this path.
Both… My uncle is trying to kill me playing with me like “the most dangerous game”
My shadow manifests in front of me. Entities playing with me. Lost pretty much everything.
On top of that my options so far: death, jail for 6 months and getting “taken advantage of”, being killed by my uncle.
In out of money and food and my car wont start.