This new topic has been split off from Rygill-85’s thread about Bashar - I believe that a look at the different situations in which we have succeeded or failed to manifest a chosen outcome (material objects or events) is well worth examining,m to see if we can discover any common experiences that precede success, or failure.
I have actually fucked up perfectly normal, non-special and non-complicated orders from Ebay by feeling doubt and worst of all, guilt - something I’m mentioning because like causes brought like effects every single time, which to me makes something a possible law of (my) reality.
Typically, I’ll be bored and order some crafting supplies towards the end of the month or whatever, some point when my funds for non-essentials have been emptied so I’m buying this from non-budgeted money.
I then feel guilty on some level, and/or worry that what I ordered won’t be worth the money anyway, and without fail, those orders get massively delayed, or go missing entirely in the post, or turn out that the seller sent entirely the wrong item and we have a huge hassle trying to sort that.
A lot of what I buy is less than £2 + say £1.80 P&P per order, things like embroidery silks, ribbons, beads and so on, so the time taken to send that back, get a refund on the return shipping, and get the item I finally wanted is way out of proportion for the cash spent.
So I’ll spend maybe £12 on 4 different things and of those, 2 will be not suitable once I get them (or I “accidentally” clicked the wrong size or colour), 1 won’t arrive at all, and the other will be the wrong thing.
Yet I can buy really pricey things as gifts (for example) that I’ve budgeted for, feel great about, and they arrive from (sometimes) around the globe without any significant problems.
So, the reasons I’m sharing my rather tedious buying habits is that if I can fuck up perfectly mundane things that are acquired and shipped via conventional means, then that seems to indicate emotional reactions can affect the entry of new things into one’s life.
In my case those emotions boil down to a deep sense of not really deserving the items, because I’m buying them when I should really have waited, and also worrying about them which means on some level I don’t believe they’re “meant” to be mine.
I’ve also obsessed about things (and situations) and had them show up, that was always when I lacked any sense that I didn’t deserve them/they aren’t “meant” for me, and going back to what I posted here, the method whereby you begin to believe you already asically own that thing (or situation etc) combined with making space for it, does undermine the dual killer I described above.
This is my experience and I’ve managed to achieve many highly improbable things with magick, always in situations where I felt basically entitled to the outcome (I know “entitled” is a word these days that’s coming to mean something mostly negative), whereas getting 3 yards of silver ribbon delivered 200 miles by regular post, yeah, I can totally fuck that up with the wrong emotions - anyway, any thoughts?